One summer when I was visiting my father in Colorado, he lived out on a ranch and if I didn’t go with him to the bars and honky tonks he used to play (they’d let kids hang out and play darts and drink cherry coke back then because they weren’t Nazis like they are now) then I would be back at the ranch playing Nintendo or watching T.V.
That summer I must have seen at least 80 episodes of The Golden Girls. I’m sure everyone agrees. It was a Good fucking show. And the formula for Sex in the City: 4 old bats in Florida, who knew?
It was funny that she was actually one of the younger members of the cast, playing the oldest. I think Sofia taught us a lot about living for today. Cause tomorrow it could all be over. Thanks, Estelle.
Last weekend in Los Angeles was VH1’s Rock Honors Weekend celebrating The Who and you could absolutely not escape the promo for this event. 2 of the club events I attended under the umbrella of this occasion were Sunday’s Toms Shoes Benefit @ the Hotel Cafe and Monday’s Steel Panther show at the Key Club. Reviews Below, but first… The WINNER of the AvantTrash/Filter Magazine/VH1 Rock Honors “WHO AM I?” CONTEST!
The Questions: and answers.
1. I can’t hear, I can’t talk, I can’t see. Who am I? “Pinball Wizard” or “Tommy, Can You Hear Me” Were both acceptable answers.
2. No one knows what it’s like to be me. I’m sad. Maybe even bad. Who am I? “Behind Blue Eyes” was the correct answer but a couple people answered Brick or Jumbo, which was a more amazing answer. So I decided to reward the winner for ignoring the rules (I was looking for the song title, not the narrator) and giving the more nerd-tastic answer.
3. I’m not old, I live on the Isle of Man. Kids can’t hurt me but they try, try, try. They ride on my head with furry donkeys. They can’t prevent me from being what I am. Who am I? “Happy Jack”…of course.
The winner of The Who prize pack was David Basile of Valley Springs, NY who says, “I really enjoy your site, good content, your contests are the best!”
So congrats David! Cheers!
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Sunday, July 13th, The Hotel Cafe’s Toms Shoes Benefit, Hollywood, CA
Sunday’s show was nearly a who’s-who (pun accidentally intended) of Hotel Cafe Singer/Songwriter regulars, headlined by the always amazing elder statesman Butch Walker (long ago of The Marvelous 3). Also playing sets were Greg Laswell (who had an album release show the night previous) and Cary Brothers (not siblings, one guy). Honestly I felt a bit aglazed (fuck you spellcheck i made the word up) Sunday and didn’t show up until the last 6 (of 14) performers took the stage. The cause was noble enough: Toms Shoes has a philosophy where for every pair of their shoes they sell, they donate a pair to needy foreign children. Unfortunately the show didn’t have much to stand on. Too much sausage and not enough talented ladies at the end of the night. Butch Walker’s set was full of “new” and “in progress” songs bound for their inevitable obscurity. Walker’s music is too amazing for public consumption (thankfully?), leading many to call him “The best musician you’ve never heard of”. I put “quoteys” around “new” because although they haven’t been released yet (album delayed) I’ve heard some of these songs nearly half a dozen times live (see “Atlanta”). But a good thing about Butch Walker is the way he lets the fans hear his songs evolve between live show and recording. Somehow “Racecars and Goth Rock” from 2004’s Letters sounded better in it’s acoustic “California Gridlock” bootleg form. This trial by fire of sorts has also made some of Butch’s compositions some of the best category-free Rock and Roll of the last 10 years. As per his 1 downer song per album trend I jokingly noted that there would probably be a new song about someone dying and sure enough he sprung one into his set titled something along the lines of “I drove by your house, I saw his car, I thought of you”. I give Butch’s show-and-tell performance a 7/10. It would be unfair to judge the rest, I wasn’t really paying attention.
I didn’t hear any WHO covers that evening.
Monday, July 14th, Steel Panther @ The Key Club, West Hollywood, CA
Big Hair, Spandex, Synchronized Guitar Coreography, Hair Solos, Simulated Oral Sex and Tits. If you’ve never seen the Steel Panther (formerly Metal Shop Metal Skool) show @ the Key Club, then you must truly hate Hair Metal and all things Sunset Strip. Either that or it has somehow remained under your radar despite its continued success. A packed house, every monday? But why? Because it’s hilarious, brilliant, crude, disgusting and shamefully nostalgic. What it boils down to are 4 Hair Metal maestros with Studio Musician cred, playing covers with amazing accuracy and more importantly…enthusiasm. Some Mondays are better than others, but this one was pretty good. I’ve seen better nights and I’ve seen worse. And almost always that has to do with how many of the regular special guests they have joining them during their set. Usually it will be a figure from the glorious 80’s hayday, a slumming pop icon, or in this instance another piece of 80s nostalgia… William Zabka. You know perhaps know him best as “Sweep the leg, Johnny” from The Karate Kid. (or if you are really cool from “Just One of the Guys” or “European Vacation”.) “Billy” as he was addressed by the band, played guitar on a cover of Van Halen’s “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love” and actually did a pretty good job. Unfortunately David Cassidy’s older brother was also in the house and played drums on the track…causing its calamitous ending to die in a whimper.
Adding to the festivities was a bevy of what looked like Jager shots delivered to the birthday boy, “53 year old bassist” Lexxi Foxxx. If you go, I suggest you get a birds-eye view of the debauchery from the balcony. You will also get an eye full of L.A.’s biggest douches rubbing metal flake Christian Audiger’d shoulders with semi-famous musicians and personalites of L.A.’s Past and Present (but mostly past). Steel Panther doesn’t take the stage until 12:15 so I suggest you head down to the famous Rainbow Bar and Grill for a bite (great food) and few pre-party drinks (cheaper than the Key Club). 2nd to the food and drink is the amazing people-watching; which is so beautiful it is hard to put into words …there will be fringe, feathered and dyed bangs, spandex and cellulite and probably a few guys who have played Jason or Michael Myers (or could if they removed the masks).
The only Who cover performed was “My Generation” with the lyrics replaced with rhymes about well… groupies mostly. There were masks of Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend circulating the crowd, Half of a Daltry made its way to Michael Starr for the final set of rhymes before the finale. Although sometimes the show borders on the bad side of “Girls Gone Wild”… it is just one of those L.A. things that you have to see. 8.3/10
On July 2nd of this year, occasional member of Queens of the Stone Age, Natasha Shneider, succumbed to cancer leaving behind a elegant legacy and some unfortunate financial obligations.
In her honor, QOTSA will be holding a concert at the Music Box @ the Fonda on Saturday, August 16th. Joining them will be an army of Rock and Roll guests including PJ Harvey, Jack Black + Kyle Gass (not billed as Tenacious D), Matt Cameron (Soundgarden), Brody Dalle (The Distillers), Jesse “The Devil” Hughes (Eagles of Death Metal), Billy F. Gibbons (lead beard player from ZZ Top), Chris Goss (QOTSA Producer), and Alain Johannes (Eleven). Natasha’s band, Eleven, included members of what would become the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Tickets are $100 with proceeds going to offset Natasha Schneiders remaining medical and burial costs. Donations are also being accepted through http://www.natashashneider.org.
RECAP:
Queens Of The Stone Age w/Guests
The Music Box @ Fonda - 6126 Hollywood Blvd. - Hollywood, CA
All Ages Show - $100
Whatever they’ve written about The Dark Knight. It’s all true.
Heath Ledger’s swan song was breathtaking. This is the insane, full force, no bullshit Joker that every Batman Comics reader has hoped would see reality. His magnificent performance pushes this highest-caliber crime drama completely beyond the superhero genre. Christopher Nolan has thrown us to the absolute bottom of the rabbit hole. The plot twists like a leviathan and fearlessly spares NO ONE. My biggest concern is that this movie killed the franchise. Enjoy this movie… there may be nowhere left to go from here.
The marketing was perhaps the best that has ever been in American Cinema. If you believe The Dark Knight is over hyped, then you haven’t seen it yet.
9.4/10 - I’m not telling you this is the perfect movie, It felt a bit stretched and sometimes hard to swallow… but its faults are few and far between. This Is Art.
Should you be in Hollywood and lucky enough to catch it at the Arclight, Costumes from the film and the Bat Pod will be on display this weekend. Who’s ready for The Watchmen?
Full Frontal Male Nudity is not a staple of most performances I’ve seen at the UCB Theatre, but the exception seems to be Midnight on every 3rd Saturday of the Month when the Dirtiest Sketch in L.A. Contest tries to live up to it’s name. The concept is simple: 2 great hosts, 3 “celebrity” judges and a half dozen or so teams put on a sketch show aimed at the shock and disgust of the audience. Winner take all…er, $3.07.
Naturally in the assumed mecca of depravity that is Hollywood you expect nothing less than entertainment suited for the Sadist ring of Dante’s Inferno, thankfully most performances come pretty close to meeting that expectation.
Of course the mind can paint the dirtiest pictures of what you would hope to see but perhaps that level is more suited for Tijuana than California. Liberal as it is here, there always seem to be limits. Either that or just the realization that we live in a city that is all talk. But I digress, because i don’t expect to see a donkey show in this setting (although i was told that one performance involved intercourse with a pig’s head), i do expect that there will be a few select brave individuals who would break right through the limits of decency. Which thankfully they always do.
And although sometimes the humor can go for the lowest common denominator…in a bad way; the writing can also be brilliant and full of a truth so profane that it will shake you down the innocent person that still lives inside of you. Most of the world just isn’t ready for that. So whether you are there to see slapstick and simulated bodily fluids (literally any and all of them) or a brilliant monologue about fucking the life out of a still beating heart (srsly), Dirtiest Sketch is not to be missed. You sick motherfucker.
So I was doing one of those random, time-wasting searches on YouTube, when I stumbled across a video on how to apply makeup to look like a particular star (notice I failed to mention which one I stumbled across). In this video was this smiley, unassuming girl with a funny little accent, who was very natural on camera, and very skilled at makeup application. I saw that she had tons of makeup tutorials on YouTube, so I spent a good couple hours watching them.
Turns out this friendly face was Lauren Luke, who has been putting these videos up online for over a year now. Lauren (panacea81), 26-year-old mother of one, got tired of her job and decided to do something she loved. She started selling cosmetics and makeup brushes on eBay, and instead of putting pictures of the say, mango-orange eyeshadow, she took pictures of herself wearing said eyeshadow. Then she began to get requests for tutorials. Her videos became more and more popular, and she soon began getting requests on how to look like Leona Lewis in her new music video, or say, Britney Spears in the video for Toxic. Now she’s one of the most well-known makeup artists in the world, and her videos are some of the most viewed on YouTube, with over 8 million hits.
Lauren was completely self-taught, a lover of makeup and crazy colors (much like myself) and experimenting with them. She’s recently began taking beauty school classes, to ‘brush up on the basics’. Off camera, she is quiet and timid, and admits to having few friends.
I think she came up with a million-dollar idea that has global appeal for women who want to learn how to use makeup. YouTube has recently begun a partnership with its most popular channels, and through this Lauren could potentially bank. Not to mention that her viral popularity has caught the eye of cosmetic brands like MAC, Stila and Barry M Cosmetics, the latter of which has her making videos for their own website, reviewing their products and using them in her tutorials. She is such a personable, humble girl to be such a huge YouTube star-one of the most popular channels in the UK. And myself being of the ‘non-stick-sized’ variety, it is so refreshing to see someone real succeeding in the cosmetics/beauty industry.
I personally want to thank Lauren, not only for setting an example for people afraid of pursuing their dreams, or for being a role model for the real girls out there, proving that you don’t have to look the way movies or magazines tell you to look in order to be happy and/or successful, but most of all, for bringing a little color into the world, and helping others feel beautiful and confident. Girl power, rar!
I went to the Midnight showing of Hellboy II: The Golden Army tonight and fucking loved it. This is an epic that goes so far beyond being “just a comic book movie” that I consider it a moving piece of art. Guillermo Del Toro has proven once again that as a director he has total control over an AMAZING army of costumers, visual fx hordes and production designers. His unique fantasy aesthetic mixed with Mike Mingola’s brilliant characters bring Hellboy II to life with 10x the flesh of his indie-esque endeavors. It has proven that you can throw money at brilliance and return something positive.
Danny Elfman’s score is at once subtle and appropriate AND a bold storytelling symbiont, it took me half the film to figure out that it was even his! Perhaps the boldest musical choice was the mix of Rock Songs (namely the vintage Eels track) to push the narrative and successfully keep the slow points (the non-punchy shooty stuff) to a minimum.
But once again I can’t stress the amazing work of the artisans who crafted this film. The phrase of “too many cooks in the kitchen” does not apply to this film which must have had some amazing head chefs to produce this NON-STOP occular feast. Jim Henson and Stan Winston would weep if they could see the creativity in this SEAMLESS mix of CGI and good old fashioned creature effects.
As far as the acting goes it is a bit comic book-y but um, duh, it came from a fucking comic book. What do you want? That aside acting was fair, Seth McFarlane’s Germanic accent was a bit stressingly humorous, the fantasy characters melodromatic in an “I’m in 100 lbs. of foam rubber and you want me to be Peter-fucking-O’Tool for christsakes!” kind of way. The exception being Doug Jones’ triple costume duty which is probably as hard as it looks. And I think Selma Blair is hot.
But you’re now screaming, “What about the plot?” Because surely we have seen a bevy of movies lately trying to push a piece of shit plot through with an overload of Eye Candy to trick us right? Well, Not Really. Although Rotten Tomatoes is already rating 100% for The Dark Knight, calling it a crime drama on par with HEAT, I can’t say Hellboy II would get that kind of presumptive acclaim from this reviewer. HOWEVER! This movie is a fantasy, and a fucking good one at that. Deal with it.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army, directed by Guillermo Del Toro gets an 8.5/10 because I have an art degree and this movie makes Damien Hurst look like Jeff Koons made me cum in my pants and want to become a Production Artist.
This all being said. AliUptown and I already have our tickets for the Midnight showing of The Dark Knight next week. Sorry you only have a week to shine, Hellboy. Can’t wait for you to destroy the world in the 3rd!
If you have a time machine, you can always kick it old school.
In my top 5 movies of all time you will find Back To The Future, which I saw in theatres back in 1985. I didn’t want to go, the Dark Cauldron was out that weekend as well. But my Mom dragged my sister and I to see the movie… and I think I never opted to see a kids movie ever again. And I’m a dork. It should also be noted that I live 150 feet from the Hollywood United Methodist Church (the actual location of the ‘Enchantment Under the Sea’ Dance where Marty plays Johnny B. Goode). But we’ve already established that I am a dork…let’s move on.
I saw BTTF:2 on New Years of ‘89/’90 and after witnessing the future scenes it wasn’t just a new year once I left the theatre… it was a new world! Well up on ebay right now is a working prototype of one of Marty McFly’s Nike Air Mags. Bidding began at $1,000 and is now at $2,025 with 8 days left.
This comes shortly after Nike themselves introduced the Back To The Future II inspired shoe which may be a little more affordable, but not much more wearable in public unless you have an orange vest and suspenders. And although they don’t even light up or autolace, they will probably match your Delorean.
But the real question is when will they sell us the hoverboard?
[ADDENDUM: SUN: JULY: 13 2AM]
Today I recieved an email from the folks partially responsible for getting the Nike 2015 Hyperdunks into production. Namely the Maloof brothers @ www.mcfly2015.com {link is down: click here for cached version} gathered 41,000 signatures online and the Prez of Nike still wouldn’t hook them up with a pair! They’d asked him if Nike was planning to produce a faithful McFly “Slamball” shoe (with working autolace and glowing logo) to which CEO and President Mark Parker responded, “The voices have been heard. Stay Tuned!”. Read about their press here.
Thanks for the tips Mickey Maloof and good luck on your quest! I share your dream and hope it becomes a reality. You know if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.
For $22 (with a portion donated to charity, for your guilt-free buying needs) you can buy me this poster for my living room….cause I don’t feel like tattooing L.A. or CA on my other arm just yet, and I really want this!
Speaking of local pride: I saw Tilly and the Wall tonight here at the Echoplex and they were great! (i’d seen them opening for Neva Dinova at Knickerbockers in Lincoln before and both shows were so much fun, Tilly i mean, I don’t get Neva Dinova. I think they kinda suck.) But I’m aboslutely in love with their single “Pot Kettle Black” and am thrilled that another Omaha band have finally broken through. And Kianna Alarid is gorgeous and has the voice of a young Belinda Carlisle. And just to namedrop; both Blake Sennett and Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley were there. I swear I see her around town AT LEAST once a month, for real. (at a Cursive show, at Beauty Bar last week, by a salon in Silverlake…)
We got lots of posts in the works, We got a namedrop on the world famous Splattercast from our friends over at DEADLANTERN.COM, had a massive spike in hits, some graphic updates to the site and will reveal the winner of The Who contest this weekend. More contests to come (cleaning out our closets).
For those of you that enjoy “extreme relaxation”, your day has come. Serious. This is a real product on the market. That one could actually purchase.
Drank is apparently the latest “lifestyle” beverage to hit the market. Considered the anti-energy drink, it combines Valerian Root, Rose Hips, and Melatonin to “slow your roll” after a hectic day. It also promises to sharpen your attention at the same time. For reals. And it’s chock-full of sugar, much like its energy-drink counterpoints. Sensing a conflict in the product information?
Part of the inspiration for this ridiculous beverage comes from Purple Drank, a recreational drug of choice for some, a mere cough suppressant for others. Woah, my roll has definitely slowed.
Look for this carbonated clusterfuck in liquor stores in the near future. I bet it goes great with vodka…
Waiting for the #72 bus after work today, an ad at the bus stop caught my eye. It was an advertisement for Tru:Blood, a “synthetic blood nourishment beverage”. I was taken aback that there might actually be an alcoholic beverage that catered to freaks like me who have an obsession with interest in vampires. With a tagline like “friends don’t let friends drink friends”, I had to get a closer look. Upon further inspection, I saw that the ad was actually part of a marketing campaign for the new HBO show, True Blood.
Alan Ball, “Six Feet Under” creator, returns to HBO with True Blood, a series based on the Southern Vampire Mysteries books by Charlaine Harris. The show details the fictional co-existence of vampires and humans in a small Louisiana town after Japanese-made synthetic blood – “TruBlood” – becomes available for purchase. Anna Paquin stars as Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress at a diner who falls in love with one of the vampires, Bill Compton, who is played by Stephen Moyer-yeah, I don’t know who that is either. But hey-check out this giant piece of man. He plays Liam. Not that I know who that is, but apparently he’s a tattooed, sex-addicted vampire, so consider me interested.
The show’s premiere on September 7th has been prefaced with a viral marketing campaign, based at BloodCopy.com. This has included setting up multiple websites, encoding web addresses into unmarked envelopes mailed to high profile blog writers (I’ll assume my unmarked envelope got lost in the mail), a wikipedia entry collating info, and even a MySpace account (username: “Blood”) complete with video postings.
Author Harris admits that her vampire is a metaphor for minorities, and how they are perceived in society. In the show, vampires have decided to ‘come out of the coffin’ (their terminology, not mine), upon the advent of TruBlood. This is where the show seems be different from other vampire shows and movies-the focus is not on becoming a vampire, but the integration of vampires into everyday society, and the distrust and racism (mortalism?) that inevitably follows.
So…I’m pretty sure the marketing campaign is going to end up being more interesting than the actual show. Although I did learn a new word researching the show: Fangbangers–women who sleep with vampires. Loves it!
Eh, I’ll still watch it, I’m sure. But if it’s super lame, I’m gonna be pissed that it got picked up, and a second season of Moonlight didn’t.
[intr0vert’s Additional images: L.A. - click to enlarge]
Because so many summer movies suck, I’ve been watching them for free on watch-movies.net. I am so glad I didn’t fork over real monies to see turd sandwiches like Zohan, The Love Guru and the Happening… all of which I watched today.
Midway through Zohan I noticed an actor playing a redneck and said to myself, “Is that Dave Fucking Matthews?” I actually said this aloud because I haven’t talked to a real human being in a couple days and I’m a little crazy. But then I checked his IMDB and noticed that he has 2 more upcoming acting gigs. Are there no more actors? I see out of work douchebags all the time here, surely they could use a job.
One of those films is in pre-production right now called The Other Side and among the co-stars of what could be an amazing rock-opera is Maynard James Keenan (of Tool, listed with 6 roles), Alanis Morissette (mentioned on this site last week), Jason Lee, Eddie Izzard and Woody Harrelson. And a couple more douchey scientologists not worth mentioning. Everyone has weird character names that sound like they came out of Harmony Korine films so hopefully next year when it comes out I’ll have something that I can actually see in a theatre. Well I guess I don’t mind if they get rid of these “superstars”. Their movies are shit.
But please, don’t go making films based on YouTube clips just yet.
The Who are being rightly worshipped by VH1 for their annual “Rock Honors” (info @ www.Rock.VH1.com) and a promotional blitz they have hooked me up with the power to reign gifts of Quadrophenic goodness upon you, the AvantTrash faithful. And for you lucky Los Angelenos there will be miles and miles of WHO shennanegins and goings on during the week of the 10-17th that you can partake of including the ceremony itself (which I unfortunately don’t have any tickets to). DETAILS AT THE END OF THIS POST.
AliUptown and I saw these unbelievable legends play a couple years ago in Omaha and we were floored by how amazing and energetic these gents still are. It was post-Entwistle, Zach Starkey was on drums and Simon Townshend on Rhythm Guitar but of course Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend tore the roof off the place like they’ve been doing since they nearly invented the Arena Rock spectacle back in the 60’s. We caught The Stones in the same year and despite their similar *ahem* maturity, the Who defied their ages and played as if they were Live at Leeds. If you get a chance to check out these legends, we suggest you do so.
“WHO AM I?” CONTEST!
Up for grabs thanks to VH1 and Filter Magazine we have THE WHO: VH1 Rock Honors gift pack which includes:
- The Who commemorative flask
- The Who shot glasses
- VH1 Rock Honors custom t-shirt
- set-of-4 The Who guitar picks.
And all you have to do to win it is tell us “Who am I?”. Its simple, I will describe 3 characters from WHO songs in the first person and you just have to guess which song they are from. I’m not making this very hard, any Who fan should know them. Send answers to contest@avanttrash.com and you’ll be entered to win.
1. I can’t hear, I can’t talk, I can’t see. Who am I?
2. No one knows what it’s like to be me. I’m sad. Maybe even bad. Who am I?
Those were easy, but here’s the kicker:
3. I’m not old, I live on the Isle of Man. Kids can’t hurt me but they try, try, try. They ride on my head with furry donkeys. They can’t prevent me from being what I am. Who am I?
Send your answers to contest@avanttrash.com by 11:59am PST on Thur, July 10 and you’ll be registered to win. Then you can go drink like Keith Moon… well, hopefully not.
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LOS ANGELES EVENT INFO:
*FYI I will be attending the Steel Panther @ Keyclub and Greg Laswell CD Release show at the Hotel Cafe*
THURSDAY, JULY 10
6pm: Guitar Center Presents Sessions with Dave Mustaine (Megadeth) @ Guitar Center Hollywood
8pm: The Gutter Twins & Ed Harcourt @ The Roxy www.theroxyonsunset.com
8pm: Tribute to Sublime @ Malibu Inn www.malibu-inn.com
9pm: Supreme Being of Leisure @ Viper Room,featuring “Who Am I” mojitos www.viperroom.com
All night: The Who Karaoke Night @ Blue Goose Lounge www.myspace.com/bluegooselounge
All night: Quadrophenia Night @ Seven Grand www.sevengrand.la
FRIDAY, JULY 11
10am – 6pm: Shop @ Intermix and buy a limited-edition VH1 Rock Honors Torn shirt, designed by Scarlett Johansson, sold exclusively by Intermix. www.intermixonline.com
3pm – 7pm: The Who Are You Happy Hour @ Pink Taco. Specialty drinks inspired by The Who www.pinktaco.com
7pm – 9pm: Grace Slick (Jefferson Airplane/Starship) exhibit/appearance @ Gallery 319 www.gallery-319.com
9pm – 2am: Trans Am Fridays @ Beauty Bar – DJ Apollo Starr and Beauty Bar Present Trans Am Fridays, playing the best in big hair and rock and roll! www.beautybar.com
7pm – 1am: Greg Laswell’s CD release show @ Hotel Café www.hotelcafe.com
8pm: Tribute to Journey @ Malibu Inn www.malibu-inn.com
8pm – 2am: The Liesurelies, Nothing Yet, Wayward Sons, Marliese @ The Derby www.clubderby.com
7pm: Emergenza Festival @ Key Club www.keyclub.com
8pm: Kode9 @ The Roxy www.theroxyonsunset.com
9pm – 2am: Underground @ The Echo www.clubunderground.net
8pm: NYC’s KHZ “West Coast CD Release” with Dave Navarro @ Viper Room www.viperroom.com
All night: Screenings of The Who movies @ Ye Coach & Horses www.myspace.com/yecoachandhorses
SATURDAY, JULY 12
8pm: VH1 Rock Honors: The Who Ceremony –The Who performing live with Pearl Jam, Foo Fighter, The Flaming Lips, Incubus, and more @ Pauley Pavilion Center www.rock.vh1.com
5pm: Rock Band competition & BBQ @ Crane’s Hollywood Tavern www.myspace.com/cranestavern
6pm: Which One’s Pink? Tribute to Pink Floyd @ Canyon Club www.canyonclub.net
7pm: Emergenza Festival @ Key Club www.keyclub.com
7pm: Rock Honors Night @ Whisky A Go-Go ft. Cipes & The People & more. www.whiskyagogo.com
8pm: Tribute to Unwritten Law @ Malibu Inn www.malibu-inn.com
7pm – 2am: Pedestrian CD release @ Hotel Café www.hotelcafe.com
9pm – 2am: Club Bang! @ The Ruby www.clubbang.net
8pm: Filter, The Urgency, Opiate for the Masses @ The Roxy www.theroxyonsunset.com
All night: Screenings of The Who movies @ Ye Coach & Horses www.myspace.com/yecoachandhorses
MONDAY, JULY 14
Doors TBD: Indie 103.3 presents local bands @ Viper Room www.viperroom.com
8:30: Steel Panther (formerly known as Metal Skool) tribute to The Who @ Key Club www.keyclub.com
My gym is right next to one of the best movie theatres in the world. So before I went running yesterday I decided to see “The Wackness” starring Sir Ben Kingsley and Josh Peck. It’s the story of Luke Shapiro, a pot dealer who just graduated from high school and the parallels of his problems (girls) with that of his middle aged Psychiatrist and client. Its set in 1994 New York and the pop culture references were a bit heavy, like they were trying to induce early nostalgia of a time not so long ago, but overall the movie was pretty good. The one appropriate reference was to the emergence of The Notorious B.I.G. and the soundtrack supported the relationship between the old guard and the new. It had Indie-pacing (that medium slow character development thing) but I really felt the themes of it. Supporting characters played by Famke Janssen, Mary-Kate Olsen, Olivia Thirlby and Method Man (bad Jamaican accent though, Johnny Blaze) were pretty solid. The overall grainy look of this film worked to ad warzone like grit to Guiliani’s “Let’s Clean Up New York” era and the set and setting make it a pretty good Summer flick. Catch it at your local arthouse if you get the chance.
The Wackness directed by Jonathan Levine gets 7.5/10 - Points deducted for the nostalgia card and the uncomfortably stoned feeling I got from watching a High School Pot Dealer try to emote. And does every movie have to start with Lou Reed’s “Take A Walk On the Wild Side” end with Mott the Hoople’s “All the Young Dudes?”
I’m available if someone wants to hire me as a music supervisor.
A group of retards have posted a video on the typically super handy site Instructables showing us the dark side of the lasers (besides destroying Alderan). The uberstupid bodymod of Branding has moved from Future Primitive Hippies to the able hands of Bored Nerds. Funny, my dermotologist has ads for Laser Tattoo Removal, but there is no way to remove these.
Kids, don’t do this. Your skin just wants to give you a full body hug, don’t go burning it like you used to burn ants.
Does this remind anybody else of the tattoo scene in Starship Troopers?
It sounds like Iraq here in Hollywood tonight. I’m sitting on my balcony and staring at a smoky, red sunset. It’s beautiful. The weather is perfect. Who could possibly ask for more than what we have right now?
But what do we really have?
As each little explosion and extravagantly detailed fireworks displays echo across the Southland I have to think that the better percentage of those explosions have absolutely nothing to do with America. So let me get this straight…
We shoot off fireworks today to celebrate our independence… which we spend the rest of the year throwing away and taking total advantage of. We shell out millions of our devalued dollars to buy explosives from China so we can fund their abusive totalitarian government? I have to think that the guy shooting bottle rockets off his balcony the next building over probably can’t name the 50 states and hasn’t been to more than 3 of them. Is this how he uses his freedom? Does he have nothing better to spend his money on? I think that in order to purchase fireworks there should be a RIGOROUS battery of questions about America. If you fail, no fireworks for you. Most importantly there should be an essay portion that asks the simple question, “Are you free?”
With out of control gas prices pushing record profits to Bush’s friends in the oil industry, we are no longer free to travel across the country to see the REAL beauty of America. It’s become too expensive to fly or drive anywhere beautiful that doesn’t have a mall. Have you ever driven through Colorado, Oregon or Utah, its insane how fucking beautiful they are! And in my case even if i could afford to travel (which really I can’t), like most Americans I am only allowed a week of vacation time from my prison of a job. For the record, most European countries allow 5 or more weeks of paid vacation. And they would have paid for the college that got me into my current position as well. Oh yeah, and healthcare would have been included. Because that’s what truly free countries do for their citizens when THEY are the ones in control of their governments. I am a graphic designer, I stare at a screen all day and yet my job doesn’t have a vision plan. You should see my lovely teeth though!
Let’s be honest, Corporations own America. Lobbyists control the lawmakers that should be listening to us. Putting OUR interests first. The only way they will hear us is if we vote for candidates who will put the citizens before the pharmaceutical, tobacco, and weapons industries. Our priorities should be the health and education of our citizens. Not giving us cigarettes to keep us sick, drugs to keep us alive and smoking and guns to finish the job. We need to show our elected officials that if they don’t listen to US instead of $$$, then we will fucking destroy them. (um, figuratively remove their power?)
When we don’t vote, they don’t hear us, and America… you haven’t been voting. And as long as guns are legal, we shouldn’t be using them on each other. We should be using them on anyone who feels they are above following the Constitution. Because that’s what it says we are supposed to do.
Most people I ask these days are at least vaguely familiar with either David Sedaris or his younger sister, Amy. Those who are more fans of David’s work know Amy as his crazy and wildly entertaining sister who tortured their father by wearing half a fat suit home for the holidays, co-wrote plays with him (as The Talent Family), and was his overall accomplice in playing practical jokes on their friends and family.
I knew of Amy before David, from catching her as the amoral ex-con/junkie/prostitute Jerri Blank on Strangers With Candy. I was immediately captivated by the freakshow that is Flatpoint High School, home of the Concrete Donkey. I was also amazed by how pretty Amy Sedaris is without the fatsuit/makeup/schlumpy look. The show is in the format of the beloved after-school special, each episode ending with a lesson learned, often times the wrong one. For example, in an episode about eating disorders, Jerri learns that it’s OK to be anorexic because then people will pay attention to you. In the episode “Who Wants Cake?” (possibly my favorite), after much research and advice-seeking, Jerri discerns that it’s okay to snitch on the suspected retarded girl in class, because “if provoked, she could fly into a rage with the strength of an ape and no remorse, not even a bullet could bring her down”.
Oh lawdy, this show is highly offensive and politically incorrect, which is why I watch it. No one is safe from insult, whether Jerri is writing in her “dirty Jew diary”, or constantly comparing to her Filpino friend, Orlando to a monkey (see below). The writers of SWC (Paul Dinello, Stephen Colbert, and Amy) relish in the act of Schadenfreude, pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune-”Laughter through the tears,” in the words of Amy. Here are some of the show’s finer gems:
-”It’s unthinkable, the atrocities that the Native Americans committed against the buffalo. No one is certain what exactly the Native Americans did to the poor creatures, but whatever it was, it caused the buffalo to become so depressed, that when the white men came, the buffalo committed suicide by jumping in front of the white men’s muskets.”
-”Orlando, you can’t be a pilgrim. The pilgrims had snowy white skin to match their pure Christian souls. They didn’t sacrifice coconuts to their monkey gods.”
-”Greeks are just Jews without money!”
-”Let’s go watch some gay porn so we can get our hate back.”
-”You know, I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed…really hard.”
One of the primary inspirations for the show, and for the main character was a 1970 documentary called “The Trip Back”, which featured a 50-year-old former junkie whore named Florrie Fisher lecturing a group of high school students about the perils of drug use. And yes, any resemblance of Fisher to Jerri Blank is intentional.
The film version premiered at Sundance in 2005, as a sort of ‘prequel’ to the TV show. The plot was sloppy, production was delayed multiple times, and the budget appeared to be teeny-weeny, but most SWC devotees (myself included) still enjoyed it.
This show was grotesquely hilarious and deliciously offensive, and its run was cut way too short. Apparently Comedy Central was disappointed with its less than South Park stellar ratings, even though it quickly built a cult following, whose fans included the likes of Janeane Garofalo, Winona Ryder, and David Cross (who all made guest appearances on the show). It’s a bit like the car crash that you can’t take your eyes off of…if the car was full of handicapped albino dwarfs that also happened to be white supremacists with eating disorders. I now leave you with these wise words…
“Packing a Musket” by Jerri Blank.
When you work from your home and johns call on the phone, you’re a call girl.
When you walk ’til you limp and give a cut to a pimp, you’re a street whore.
When they’re beggin’ you please to get down on your knees near their groinage, excusa me, but you see, don’t you touch where they pee without coinage.
There is NOTHING hotter than female musicians. Actresses are pretty hot but really they are just paid liars, fakers. And they’re almost all crazy. Maybe they lack a true sense of self so its easier for them to become other people. But musicians create something far more beautiful and universal! Most of actresses beauty comes from makeup, CGI effects and the occasional prosthesis. But a musicians beauty comes from their soul. (deep, I know).
But, whilst young popstar/trainwreck-in-training Britney Spears was physically peaking at the 2000 VMA’s, her pop predecessors were aging themselves to their current perfection. So I present to you, AvantTrash’s 6 Female Musicians that have gotten Hotter with age:
Have you seen Alanis Morrisette lately? The music has still dropped south of the listenable scale but she finally found the right hair color and is more gorgeous at 34 than 21 when Jagged Little Pill came out. (And hopefully has the same theatre habits). What prompted this list is this video from Howard Stern that features the Canuck talking about Ryan Reynolds, Promiscuous Sex and a foray into Lesbianism. (random fact: In the script for Dogma. Her line as God when asked the meaning of life was supposed to be, “One Word… Plastics.” Bonus Points if you get the homage.)
About to go back on the market and 50 in August is Madonna, although totally nuts, an African baby thief, still without vocal talent and a bad imitation of a guitar player is still “one tasty piece of bitch“. Sometimes she gets too buff for her frame, sometimes she looks transparent and I can see her vaney face (they don’t get much sun in England) but I think that Yid Yoga and Kaballah Karate Stuff is doing wonders on that amazing body she’s always had. I would hit it and so would you because at the end of the day she has encyclopedias of SEX in that ever wrinkling dome of hers. But lady, you can fix your teeth. You don’t have to look like the Brits. We have orthodontic technology now and it’s not plastic surgery. Even that Alien-Raper Tom Cruise tried to fix that mouth full of 2×4’s he wraps around David Miscavages little Hubbard. (That was a gross one, even for me, I know.)
Assuming you are old enough or retro-minded enough to remember young Kylie Minogue, awkward and tiny in her “Locomotion” days; you are assuredly pleased at the gorgeous Provacatuer this 40-year-old beauty has become. Something ‘I can’t get out of my head‘ is that side-baring curtain she was sporting in her infamous 2001’s video, looking like a sexy Jedi. Since then she has put out an asstounding amount of records, toured constantly, and even beaten breast cancer. But I can’t for the life of me put my finger in on what makes her so hot?
Former schoolteacher, Jingle Writer and Bad-era Michael Jackson backup singer Sheryl Crow has also kicked breast cancer’s sorry ass recently and came out of it more physically perfect than when she went in. She’s also probably outsold everyone else on the list. I’m willing to forgive her “Soak Up the Sun” and “The First Cut is the Deepest” infringements because her new record is decent protest music and her first 3 records are fucking chronic. At 46-years-old she still sounds the way she did when she broke out with Tuesday Night Music Club in her late 20’s. This photo of her “getting back” at John Mayer is proof that physically she probably hasn’t lost much either. She’s recently adopted a son and seems to live completely on her own terms on a farm outside of Nashville. Not bad for a girl from Missouri.
Despite recent beach photos on trashy blogs that I won’t name, the other Canadian songstress (not so fast Ann Murray) Sarah McLachlan is still at the top of my crush list. Better than Chocolate (in joke). She claims that she never found her true voice or really felt comfortable with her looks until she was nearly 30 (and got that sexy short haircut). The 40-year-old queen of Lilith Fair had me “Fallin” for the video of her writhing around in a bathtub. Her lyrics floor me, She is unbelievably talented as a musician and songwriter, she dedicated a huge deal of time to social causes and world relief, Surfacing is one of the best records ever made and she looks exactly like my co-conspirator AliUptown give or take a few freckles. And apparently her music lifted Darryl “D.M.C.” McDaniels out of depression.
I was raised around country music. My parents toured the midwest playing supper clubs and honky tonks and for some reason back then they let us kids hang around alcoholics in loud, smokey bars. But during all of that time I never heard of Emmylou Harris until I was a teenager. Even now I’m not terribly familiar with her older work, mostly collaborations with Mark Knopfler and Indie’s such as Bright Eyes that seem to worship at this Silver Fox’s feet. Is she the Steve Martin type who prematurely greyed? Because It seems to work for her. I’m sure she’s had some work done or some good airbrush artists have been on her photos because at 61-years-old is still hot enough to let me put her in this list without seeming like a GILF hunter.
Judge if you will but I propose a 25-year-old MINIMUM on success for women. Maybe then our society will figure out what is really hot and not swallow the load that douchey TMZ/PEREZ/Celebtarded Gossip Magazines are trying to sell them. The country has an extreme case of agism and ideal look dismorphia and I think these chicks are the cure.
Don’t take “chicks” the wrong way. Jesus, so sensitive.
Lawsuits, lawsuits, lawsuits. You know I love ‘em. So…apparently McDonald’s has a Happy Meal toy that wears a red hat similar to Devo’s flower-pot-looking hat in the video for “Whip It”. Obviously, the fast-food chain was ‘inspired’ by the band. Some might say a little too inspired. What clinches it is the toy’s name: New Wave Nigel. Sounds cool, right? Not to bassist Gerald Casale, who informed the Australian Associated press that they are in the midst of a lawsuit. He states that the doll is a “Devo rip-off, and the red hat is exactly the red hat that I designed, and it’s copyrighted and trademarked.” Ouch.
The Happy Meal figurine is part of an “American Idol” themed set-each doll a different music genre: Disco Dave, Country Clay, Rockin’ Riley, Soulful Selma…you get the idea. The irony was not lost on Casale that a band that satirized mass culture was now being embraced by two of the biggest fixtures of the mainstream: McDonald’s and “American Idol.”
“We don’t like McDonald’s, and we don’t like ‘American Idol,’ so we’re doubly offended.”
Sunday’s show was nearly a who’s-who (pun accidentally intended) of Hotel Cafe Singer/Songwriter regulars, headlined by the always amazing elder statesman Butch Walker (long ago of The Marvelous 3). Also playing sets were Greg Laswell (who had an album release show the night previous) and Cary Brothers (not siblings, one guy). Honestly I felt a bit aglazed (fuck you spellcheck i made the word up) Sunday and didn’t show up until the last 6 (of 14) performers took the stage. The 
I knew of Amy before David, from catching her as the amoral ex-con/junkie/prostitute Jerri Blank on 
