Rush Limbaugh tried to capitalize on the death of Michael Jackson by making the ridiculous statement that Michael Jackson’s success was directly related to the success of Ronald Reagan. He even went so far as to say that he “languished” under Bush 41 and Clinton and “died under Obama”. Now the stupidity of a statement like that could be dissected every which way, but I would argue strongly that Michael Jackson was never not a huge success story. And his success certainly had nothing to do with a particular president.
Earlier this summer, McG challenged Michael Bay to a Dick-Off contest to settle once and for all the question of which of the two lousy directors was compensating the least. McG was out of the gate first and single handedly destroyed the Terminator franchise. That’s a good start for McG’s chances. Unfortunately, Michael Bay came along with the eye fuck known as Terminator…er…Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
First, everything you’ve heard about this film doesn’t even begin to explain how fucking awful it actually is. Yes, you will see multiple shots of dogs humping each other. Because I guess that’s “funny”. Yes, you’ll then see a Transformer hump Megan Fox’s leg because that’s even funnier! It makes total sense because the same Transformer calls her “hot” earlier in the movie. I guess Megan Fox is supposed to be so attractive that even robots get off on seeing her. Yep, two Transformers (Skids and Mudflaps) not only speak in ebonics, but have large ears. One even has a gold front tooth and they like to fist bump after they call somebody a “pussy”. Sam Witwicky’s mother eats a pot brownie and decides to jump on people and act out of her mind. Exactly what pot does, I’m told. Sam goes to Transformer heaven for about 10 seconds and Megatron still looks like a total retard. All of that nonsense is in the film and it’s all even worse than what you’ve heard. But that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface.
I’ve seen Shep around L.A. a couple times but never said hi.
What do you say to someone that good?
He knows he’s good, his presidential portrait is hanging in the Smithsonian.
It’s like he took everything that Warhol ever said about Art but could never actually do and fucking did it.
See, the difference between Republicans and Democrats is that, when you make your party the “party of God”, then your fall from grace will always be worse than if Eliot Spitzer is found banging hookers. That’s the problem with conservatives. They’ve spent so much time labeling liberals as the “party of heathens” that when a Democrat starts bangin chicks…well it’s just not a big deal because they are “expected” to act in that way. Y’know, that “badge of honor” that the holier than thou Limbaughs of the world like to toss around. Conservatives have made a concerted effort for decades to make Democrats and liberals the party of “anti” family values. Now you’ll start hearing them whine about the “double-standard” and that the big bad media is picking on them and not treating them the same as a Democrat in the same situation. It drives them nuts. But that’s the bed they’ve chosen to get laid in. Deal with it, whiners. Like when Bill Clinton left office with a higher approval rating than Ronald Reagan even after they spit all their fire and brimstone at Slick Willy and his Elephantine Harem. Like I said, it drives conservatives nuts.
Just saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen today. It’s one of the worst pieces of crap I’ve ever seen. I’ll post a full review on AvantTrash tomorrow.
Oh, and lots of Iranians on O Street here in Lincoln holding up green signs and chanting “Mousavi” and “Free Iran”.
Although it was revealed on a Bump I just heard from a friend of series creator Brendan Small that Metalocalypse will be back on [Adult Swim] for it’s 3rd season around November of this year. As us nerds will recall the season ended in an Empire Strikes Back down note with band manager Ofdensen in pretty bad shape and the questionable safety of the bands world-saving next album. Speaking of albums Dethklok’s Deathalbum IIis finished and will be released on September 8th.
In other [Adult Swim] news the similarly cliffhangered (cliffhung?) next season of The Venture Bros. will also pick back up in November.
Holy Goddamned Wow! This could have the potential to blow wads of crazy art juice all over Disney Digital 3-D glasses next March! Here are some production photos of Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and Anne Hathaway in the upcoming Tim Burton helmed “Alice in Wonderland” live-action flick.
This has been my favorite blog for a long time now. In fact, many of the recurring segments on Deadlantern.com were patterned from stuff I saw on this site. It’s chock full of everything that AvantTrash readers would find interesting: musicians, beautiful women, artists, fashion, etc.
I encourage all of you to make it a daily visit.
And yes, Joan Blondell is the goddess. Be cultured and watch Three on a Match.
By now, everyone has learned that Barack Obama studied under Mr. Miyagi and that he brutally murdered Dr. Andre Delambre (no comment as of yet from Vincent Price’s corpse). God damn, what they say about Chicago politicians being brutal ain’t no lie. Considering the fact that Colbert has been having a nightly segment dedicated to parodying the incident entitled “Murder in the White House” (Jeff Goldblum was on the other night to vomit and then suck up his 2 cents) there’s not much more I can add comedy wise to the situation. However, the best thing about Ninjabama’s actions was PETA getting up in arms about it.
Vicki Blue was a bass player in the teen rock band The Runaways. She got the gig after Jackie Fox, the previous bass player, had a nervous breakdown and cut herself with glass after her bass broke. Fast forward 30 years and the now “respectable” Victory Tischler-Blue puts together a documentary about the band which is mostly notable for giving the world Joan Jett and Lita Ford. I knew pretty much nothing about the Runaways going into this documentary. Was I illuminated? Did a teenage Joan Jett give me a hard on?
Fine by me. I wish I was paid to beat off. I should have stuck with wrestling. And maybe being blessed with more hardbody genes would have been ok too. But I do ok on my own. Read all about it…
via 2 Girls, 1 Queen (San Francisco of course)
There is a fire blazing a couple blocks away at Hammond and Phyllis in WeHo. It’s next to an elementary school and an apartment complex which will both probably be smoke damaged. Neighbors claimed the house was covered in overgrown weeds and bushes and it was a “creepy” house. The land itself is probably worth a bucket of cash!
No word on whether anyone was inside. Its raining ash on Sunset and San Vicente right now.
***Edit via an email received from the editor at LAist:***
from the wires… “Firefighters are searching for a possible victim inside a burning
home at 940 Hammond St. in West Hollywood, says Inspector Frank Garrido of the
Los Angeles County Firefighters.”
Im not sure I totally get the video’s concept but it’s one of my favorite songs off of Mama, I’m Swollen. It features Tania Raymonde (Alex Linus from LOST). Thanks to the press release for that info because I surely don’t watch that fucking show. I’m also the person who asked Mischa Barton “Are You a model?” at the Viper Room last night even though I knew full well who she was. (I only saw 1 episode of The OC ever.) Man, TV is stupid. Go see a fucking concert!
Cursive will be on tour all summer. I’d like to point out that Box Awesome in Lincoln, NE was the bar I used to run sound for. It’s an intimate setting and will probably be the best show in Lincoln all year. Check that out if you are in the area. (pretty sure its sold out)
Previously Announced:
JUNE 13 DENVER, CO WESTWORD MUSIC SHOWCASE
JUNE 17 LINCOLN, NE BOX AWESOME
JUNE 18 SIOUX FALLS, SD NUTTY’S NORTH
JUNE 19 RAPID CITY, SD DAHL CENTER
JUNE 20 BILLINGS, MT YELLOWSTONE VALLEY BREWERY
JUNE 21 MISSOULA, MT THE PALACE
JUNE 23 SEATTLE, WA NEUMO’S
JUNE 24 PORTLAND, OR WONDER BALLROOM
JUNE 26 SACRAMENTO, CA BOARDWALK
JUNE 27 SAN FRANCISCO, CA GREAT AMERICAN MUSIC HALL
JUNE 28 LOS ANGELES, CA EL REY THEATRE
JUNE 29 POMONA, CA GLASSHOUSE
JUNE 30 LAS VEGAS, NV BEAUTY BAR
JULY 1 SALT LAKE CITY, UT IN THE VENUE
JULY 24 OMAHA, NE SLOWDOWN
(Mutual of Omaha’s “Wild About Omaha” Weekend)
New Dates:
JULY 25 IOWA CITY, IA PICADOR
JULY 26 DEKALB, IL OTTO’S
JULY 27 INDIANAPOLIS, IN RADIO RADIO
JULY 28 PONTIAC, MI PIKE ROOM
JULY 29 CLEVELAND, OH GROG SHOP
JULY 30 ROCHESTER, NY BUG JAR
JULY 31 BUFFALO, NY TRALF MUSIC HALL
AUG. 1 TORONTO, ONT HORSESHOE TAVERN
AUG. 3 CAMBRIDGE, MA MIDDLE EAST (Downstairs)
AUG. 4 MILFORD, CT DANIEL STREET
AUG. 6 HOBOKEN, NJ MAXWELL’S
AUG. 7 PHILADELPHIA, PA FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH
AUG. 8 BALTIMORE, MD OTTO BAR
Recently, while going through a bunch of boxes in my mom’s basement in preparation for a garage sale that never happened, I came across a big shoe box full of pictures. Nearly all of them band pics from roughly 1998-2002, when just about everyone I knew (including myself) were involved in some sort of local rock band. Grand Island in 1999-2000, specifically, were golden years. It seemed like every damn kid in G.I. was in a band and every weekend you could find a show at the Super Bowl or Westside Lanes or The Rock or even Max McGruder’s. There was nothing to do in that town except meth, so any excuse to watch the owner of the Super Bowl move his fake teeth in and out of his mouth if it meant getting to hang out with everyone for a few hours was always worth it. Of course, everybody sucked, but that didn’t stop us from thinking we were awesome. We painted our fingernails and acted ridiculously cool in the most melodramatic manner possible. T.J. wore his guyliner; I had sparkles in my hair. We were all going to get signed, after all and we had to look and act the part. It was only a matter of time…
I’m not big into video games and was a little skeptical when I heard they were making a Beatles version of Rock Band but I have to say I’m pretty impressed. The video above is just a trailer and not actual game play. You can view that video here.
I’m a firm believer that Twitter is the dumbest shit ever. I find its very existence to be patently absurd. I’m not one of the 10% of 12 year old girls and my “going on 30″ friends who feel the need to be a Twitter hipster, but hey, that’s just me. I’m an anti-social bastard who hates people and would like the ability to say that in more than “140 characters”. But, whatever makes them feel good about themselves, I guess.
Whether or not Twitter is relevant isn’t really the issue. Recently, Republican Senator Chuck Grassley posted this on his twitter page:
“Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us”time to deliver” on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND.”
and then this:
“Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said ‘time to delivr on healthcare’ When you are a “hammer” u think evrything is NAIL I’m no NAIL”
I’m a firm believer that Twitter is the dumbest shit ever. I find its very existence to be patently absurd. I’m not 
