Ali always says, “This one’s going in the Spank Bank.” so from now on The Spank Bank is a category for anything worth touching yourself over. Go ahead. We don’t judge.
NakedGirlsInOurBed.com is a website started by Lucky B (Lucky Bastard), a photographer in San Diego and his girlfriend Eloise where simply enough girls stop by and they do a photoshoot in their bed. Most of the girls are tattoo’d, pierced and very hot. The girlfriend is cool with it and the photos are magnificent and very tasteful.
Simple. Brilliant. Sites like this are there for nothing more than the betterment of society.
(photo by Lucky B. {Keith Allen Phillips}. permission requested. Be sure to check out his other photos. DO NOT USE WITHOUT PERMISSION.)
The subject/content of this post has completely been revised since my first draft. We are doing some remodeling at my jobbie, and I have been in charge of and largely responsible for getting shit done, moved, boxed…this past week has been hellish hard work and I was SO looking forward to my relaxing day off. But low and behold, I am a lowly ant, and somewhere out there, there’s a big mean kid with a magnifying glass trying to burn my feelers off.
A friend woke me up at a godawful hour of 10am so we could get breakfast on this, my last day of freedom before returning to the soul-destroying experience that is my corporate entertainment design packaging dayjob. Somehow in the nearly 2 years that I’ve been stranded here in L.A. I hadn’t made it out to any of the fine Denny’s establishments in the area. Maybe it’s because at 3am there is still so much great street meat, burrito stands and Fred 62 around. But fuck it, it’s breakfast, let’s hit the Denny’s at Sunset and Gower in the *cough* Gower Gulch. A stripmall which resembles half of the mainstreet in an 1800’s frontier town. Am I back in the midwest? No, I can still see the arclight, it must be some sort of time-space bubble?
Remind those stupid motherfuckers that it isn’t real. None of it. Your “holy books” are dangerously outdated. Look at me marginalizing what you’ve wasted THOUSANDS of years on by putting my “you-are-all-fucking-loony” quotes around it. The whole fucking thing. None of it’s real. None of it’s holy. If anything the whole world is holy. People are holy. Love people. Not Allah or Yaweh or God or Mohammed. The Earth is your God. You came from it, you couldn’t survive without it and most importantly YOU CAN SEE IT! Boom! If you want to fight, how about you fight pollution and poaching and everything else that harms the only reason you exist. There are no virgins, there is no heaven. Virgins usually just lay there anyway. You are just an asshole with a gun, an asshole with a bomb, an asshole on a rug 5 times a day, an asshole with a bagel and a lot of money and bad sideburns. I hate you all because you do NOTHING to help the world or ANYBODY besides yourselves! You fucking selfish assholes.
I am embarrassed for civilization that Mamma Mia beat Dark Knight in DVD sales. Christ America, really? I was in line behind some woman buying that stupid shit at Target whilst Christmas shopping. She told me it was a present, and I really did have to bite my tongue to keep myself from telling her that she should go back and get The Dark Knight instead, and that no one deserves to unwrap that on Christmas. No one.
Well, it’s been a pretty crescent fresh 2008 for AvantTrash.com. Since it’s re-birth into this current home/incarnation back in February this site has gained a small but loyal following with an average of a few thousand new visitors every week! Sure you may be here just to see a few of the photos, maybe read a review or two but we certainly thank you and look forward to a lot of big things we’ve got planned for 2009!
And instead of watching the Robo-matronic Dick Clark and Ryan Seaquest DSV dropping their LED balls on the over coast, enjoy this guy’s cubes of insanity!
Oh my sweet Darwinian Irony! An Hero for the protection of Sharks has been supposedly eaten by a great white! Wow! This story is like eating a fried Twinkie! It’s so terrible but you have to love when someone says, “Deadly nature, you are so beautiful! Let me give you a great big hug!” and nature says, “Yum! Human Sacrifice!”
In all seriousness though Shark Poaching is a serious problem because their numbers are scary low and Asians with tiny penises are harvesting them for JUST THEIR DORSAL FINS to put in a tasteless soup to give them VIRILITY! In many cases they discard the rest of the fish.
The holidays are a wonderful time to vent the frustrations you’ve spent a year repressing. I think I should release mine here on something that doesn’t really matter instead of on my family today. Here goes:
Michael Jackson is just full of problems: forclosing on Neverland, being forced to play vegas, kiddie fiddler lawsuits. And now according to a biographer, The King of Pop is pretty sick.
MELVILLE, N.Y. — Michael Jackson is ailing from a rare lung condition and needs to undergo a transplant, according to the author of a new biography on the King of Pop.
“He’s had it for years, but it’s gotten worse,” Halperin said in an interview with In Touch magazine. “He needs a lung transplant but may be too weak to go through with it. He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, which his doctors have had a lot of trouble stopping. It’s the bleeding that is the most problematic part. It could kill him.”
Halperin also said Jackson “can barely speak” and is having trouble seeing: “The vision in his left eye is 95 percent gone.”
There is still no confirmation from the Jackson camp so maybe this isn’t true.
Look at that great photo of MJ when he still looked a little bit normal. We miss you human Michael Jackson! Get well soon, crazy! While they are putting in a new lung, maybe they can put his face back on. We want to see the biggest comeback in history.
Garfunkel and Oates is Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci and they are great! Check out their other YouTube Videos.
I’m practicing my “Present Face” for this year. I haven’t seen much of my extended family since last Christmas. I gave them a list of used vinyl records that I would prefer over some shiny new piece of junk from Wal-Mart I’ll never use, I can’t imagine that they know what I really want, which is lower rent. And I don’t think they can do that.
6am flights, Ick. LAX, Double Ick. I didn’t go to sleep last night because the airport shuttle came at 3:30am and the flight that I was going to get a good power nap in there just happened to be 2 goddamned screaming kids. One was named Carson and the other Cadence, I overheard their names being announced to no less than 5 other passengers and both flight attendants, and I had headphones on. What’s with all of the “C” names anyway? A few years ago it was all -ayden names (Hayden, Jayden, Thayden-WTF?) While I’m in the Seinfeld spirit, what’s with all of this procreation? What the fuck have you done that you think you should make more of you!? Cured any diseases lately? Made any lasting artworks? I’m speaking directly to you, boring L.L. Bean and Husker hat wearing couple with your parent jeans. If it was summer I bet you’d be wearing Crocs. Does the world really need more insurance salesmen? Sterilization for all. Children of Men wasn’t a warning, it was a utopia, no kids watching Dora the Explorer at FULL VOLUME to stay distracted. (And yes, MaT, I realize they ripped it off.)
I’m not sure why i didn’t find out about this until the month was more than half over. I was lurking online today and tripped over this cover shot from Spanish Playboy Dec 2008. I have no problem finding Spanish fashion magazines, but where does one go for foreign porn? I must have a copy of this. Please feel free to say what you will about Miss. Von Tesse, but you must admit she makes it ok for even some of the squarest small minded people to embrace SEX. I know there were many ladies before her that did all she is doing, however none in our era found a way to do it on a stage that all the world would see and accept. I spin my nipple tassels in honor of Dita.
A true genius, philosopher, cynic, optimist, humanist, free-thinker and brilliant comedian. The natural evolution from Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor and George Carlin. Had he not died of cancer, William Melvin Hickswould be 47 years old today.
Ali always says, “This one’s going in the Spank Bank.” so from now on The Spank Bank is a category for anything worth touching yourself over. Go ahead. We don’t judge.
I’m not sure why i didn’t find out about this until the month was more than half over. I was lurking online today and tripped over this cover shot from Spanish Playboy Dec 2008. I have no problem finding Spanish fashion magazines, but where does one go for foreign porn? I must have a copy of this. Please feel free to say what you will about Miss. Von Tesse, but you must admit she makes it ok for even some of the squarest small minded people to embrace SEX. I know there were many ladies before her that did all she is doing, however none in our era found a way to do it on a stage that all the world would see and accept. I spin my nipple tassels in honor of Dita.
