Most people I ask these days are at least vaguely familiar with either David Sedaris or his younger sister, Amy. Those who are more fans of David’s work know Amy as his crazy and wildly entertaining sister who tortured their father by wearing half a fat suit home for the holidays, co-wrote plays with him (as The Talent Family), and was his overall accomplice in playing practical jokes on their friends and family.

I knew of Amy before David, from catching her as the amoral ex-con/junkie/prostitute Jerri Blank on Strangers With Candy. I was immediately captivated by the freakshow that is Flatpoint High School, home of the Concrete Donkey. I was also amazed by how pretty Amy Sedaris is without the fatsuit/makeup/schlumpy look. The show is in the format of the beloved after-school special, each episode ending with a lesson learned, often times the wrong one. For example, in an episode about eating disorders, Jerri learns that it’s OK to be anorexic because then people will pay attention to you. In the episode “Who Wants Cake?” (possibly my favorite), after much research and advice-seeking, Jerri discerns that it’s okay to snitch on the suspected retarded girl in class, because “if provoked, she could fly into a rage with the strength of an ape and no remorse, not even a bullet could bring her down”.

Oh lawdy, this show is highly offensive and politically incorrect, which is why I watch it. No one is safe from insult, whether Jerri is writing in her “dirty Jew diary”, or constantly comparing to her Filpino friend, Orlando to a monkey (see below). The writers of SWC (Paul Dinello, Stephen Colbert, and Amy) relish in the act of Schadenfreude, pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune-”Laughter through the tears,” in the words of Amy. Here are some of the show’s finer gems:

-”It’s unthinkable, the atrocities that the Native Americans committed against the buffalo. No one is certain what exactly the Native Americans did to the poor creatures, but whatever it was, it caused the buffalo to become so depressed, that when the white men came, the buffalo committed suicide by jumping in front of the white men’s muskets.”

-”Orlando, you can’t be a pilgrim. The pilgrims had snowy white skin to match their pure Christian souls. They didn’t sacrifice coconuts to their monkey gods.”

-”Greeks are just Jews without money!”

-”Let’s go watch some gay porn so we can get our hate back.”

-”You know, I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed…really hard.”

One of the primary inspirations for the show, and for the main character was a 1970 documentary called “The Trip Back”, which featured a 50-year-old former junkie whore named Florrie Fisher lecturing a group of high school students about the perils of drug use. And yes, any resemblance of Fisher to Jerri Blank is intentional.

The film version premiered at Sundance in 2005, as a sort of ‘prequel’ to the TV show. The plot was sloppy, production was delayed multiple times, and the budget appeared to be teeny-weeny, but most SWC devotees (myself included) still enjoyed it.

This show was grotesquely hilarious and deliciously offensive, and its run was cut way too short. Apparently Comedy Central was disappointed with its less than South Park stellar ratings, even though it quickly built a cult following, whose fans included the likes of Janeane Garofalo, Winona Ryder, and David Cross (who all made guest appearances on the show). It’s a bit like the car crash that you can’t take your eyes off of…if the car was full of handicapped albino dwarfs that also happened to be white supremacists with eating disorders. I now leave you with these wise words…

“Packing a Musket” by Jerri Blank.

When you work from your home and johns call on the phone, you’re a call girl.

When you walk ’til you limp and give a cut to a pimp, you’re a street whore.

When they’re beggin’ you please to get down on your knees near their groinage, excusa me, but you see, don’t you touch where they pee without coinage.

When I straddle and squat, to show you my…

I miss this show.

I’m totally sickened that I’m even writing about this. Then again, I am pretty sick. And quite frankly, after the VaginaCam post, I needed a bit of fluff. Oooh, Miley Cyrus and her jailbait-y goodness! Her poor parents, they seem to be rivaling the Lohans in the “selling out our kids at the risk of their dignity/sanity for a buck” contest. Actually, I don’t think said picture is really worth all the controversy.

Now, the risque ones she took of her and her friends that have been popping up on the internet left and right-those are naughty. In all fairness, what 15 year old girl didn’t take naughty pics with her friends? (or was that just me?) But then again, I wasn’t Disney’s cash cow at the time.

Many people in the public eye felt the need to weigh in on the situation-Bill O’Reilly, Ellen, the ladies from The View…I didn’t give a shit until Stephen Colbert said his piece on it. Oh Stephen Colbert, never again will you win a gem of a role like the closeted history teacher on Strangers With Candy. I miss that show. Best after-school special ever. Anywhoo, this pretty much sums up how I feel about it:

The cliffsnote’s version of Colbert’s viewpoint: Who gives a shit? Am I right? I guess it’s a little hypocritical that I am writing about it, a fault of mine, I admit it. But the poor girl, being a teenager is hard enough without the media scrutinizing every move you make, innocent or otherwise. Oh wait, she’s worth a billion dollars, therefore I am physically unable to have sympathy for her.

Oh yeah, here you go, sickos. You know you want to.

Ah, youth.