There is NOTHING hotter than female musicians. Actresses are pretty hot but really they are just paid liars, fakers. And they’re almost all crazy. Maybe they lack a true sense of self so its easier for them to become other people. But musicians create something far more beautiful and universal! Most of actresses beauty comes from makeup, CGI effects and the occasional prosthesis. But a musicians beauty comes from their soul. (deep, I know).

But, whilst young popstar/trainwreck-in-training Britney Spears was physically peaking at the 2000 VMA’s, her pop predecessors were aging themselves to their current perfection. So I present to you, AvantTrash’s 6 Female Musicians that have gotten Hotter with age:

Have you seen Alanis Morrisette lately? The music has still dropped south of the listenable scale but she finally found the right hair color and is more gorgeous at 34 than 21 when Jagged Little Pill came out. (And hopefully has the same theatre habits). What prompted this list is this video from Howard Stern that features the Canuck talking about Ryan Reynolds, Promiscuous Sex and a foray into Lesbianism. (random fact: In the script for Dogma. Her line as God when asked the meaning of life was supposed to be, “One Word… Plastics.” Bonus Points if you get the homage.)

About to go back on the market and 50 in August is Madonna, although totally nuts, an African baby thief, still without vocal talent and a bad imitation of a guitar player is still “one tasty piece of bitch“. Sometimes she gets too buff for her frame, sometimes she looks transparent and I can see her vaney face (they don’t get much sun in England) but I think that Yid Yoga and Kaballah Karate Stuff is doing wonders on that amazing body she’s always had. I would hit it and so would you because at the end of the day she has encyclopedias of SEX in that ever wrinkling dome of hers. But lady, you can fix your teeth. You don’t have to look like the Brits. We have orthodontic technology now and it’s not plastic surgery. Even that Alien-Raper Tom Cruise tried to fix that mouth full of 2×4’s he wraps around David Miscavages little Hubbard. (That was a gross one, even for me, I know.)

Assuming you are old enough or retro-minded enough to remember young Kylie Minogue, awkward and tiny in her “Locomotion” days; you are assuredly pleased at the gorgeous Provacatuer this 40-year-old beauty has become. Something ‘I can’t get out of my head‘ is that side-baring curtain she was sporting in her infamous 2001’s video, looking like a sexy Jedi. Since then she has put out an asstounding amount of records, toured constantly, and even beaten breast cancer. But I can’t for the life of me put my finger in on what makes her so hot?

Former schoolteacher, Jingle Writer and Bad-era Michael Jackson backup singer Sheryl Crow has also kicked breast cancer’s sorry ass recently and came out of it more physically perfect than when she went in. She’s also probably outsold everyone else on the list. I’m willing to forgive her “Soak Up the Sun” and “The First Cut is the Deepest” infringements because her new record is decent protest music and her first 3 records are fucking chronic. At 46-years-old she still sounds the way she did when she broke out with Tuesday Night Music Club in her late 20’s. This photo of her “getting back” at John Mayer is proof that physically she probably hasn’t lost much either. She’s recently adopted a son and seems to live completely on her own terms on a farm outside of Nashville. Not bad for a girl from Missouri.

Despite recent beach photos on trashy blogs that I won’t name, the other Canadian songstress (not so fast Ann Murray) Sarah McLachlan is still at the top of my crush list. Better than Chocolate (in joke). She claims that she never found her true voice or really felt comfortable with her looks until she was nearly 30 (and got that sexy short haircut). The 40-year-old queen of Lilith Fair had me “Fallin” for the video of her writhing around in a bathtub. Her lyrics floor me, She is unbelievably talented as a musician and songwriter, she dedicated a huge deal of time to social causes and world relief, Surfacing is one of the best records ever made and she looks exactly like my co-conspirator AliUptown give or take a few freckles. And apparently her music lifted Darryl “D.M.C.” McDaniels out of depression.

I was raised around country music. My parents toured the midwest playing supper clubs and honky tonks and for some reason back then they let us kids hang around alcoholics in loud, smokey bars. But during all of that time I never heard of Emmylou Harris until I was a teenager. Even now I’m not terribly familiar with her older work, mostly collaborations with Mark Knopfler and Indie’s such as Bright Eyes that seem to worship at this Silver Fox’s feet. Is she the Steve Martin type who prematurely greyed? Because It seems to work for her. I’m sure she’s had some work done or some good airbrush artists have been on her photos because at 61-years-old is still hot enough to let me put her in this list without seeming like a GILF hunter.

Judge if you will but I propose a 25-year-old MINIMUM on success for women. Maybe then our society will figure out what is really hot and not swallow the load that douchey TMZ/PEREZ/Celebtarded Gossip Magazines are trying to sell them. The country has an extreme case of agism and ideal look dismorphia and I think these chicks are the cure.

Don’t take “chicks” the wrong way. Jesus, so sensitive.