Rock and Roll has lost “the Originator”. The man who put the thump into the blues, master of the call and response and the creator of the “Bo Diddley Beat”.

I made that one up. And its reason enough that I only took 1 math class in College(unless you count beginning Computer Science). There is a Flickr collection of flowcharts, Venn Diagrams, Bar Graphs and Pie charts of the narratives from rock songs. Some of them are quite amazing. Some of them made me notice that am in not in touch with much of modern hip-hop. It also reminded me how many math classes I spent drawing band names on my notebooks.

I think my acid is kickin’ in. This vid is from last year but whatevs. You probably haven’t seen it.

It’s a couple days old but I just read about it on Losanjealous. How many times is this now? 4 or 5? I’ve lost count.

I used to love these guys so much but its really hard to give a shit anymore. I was just talking about junkies right? Mr. Weiland should have a full time sponsor on tour with him. It’s sad. Remember how fresh Core sounded even though people claimed Weiland sounded like Eddie Vedder? And how great was Purple? Scott found his own voice on that record and it was solid! How much greater was it that the album didn’t even have the word PURPLE on it ANYWHERE! It’s listed on places like Amazon as self-titled, but who in 1994 called it that?

These guys were sooo good live. Weiland may still be a showman, but he certainly hasn’t maintained any kind of edge to his songwriting. It seemed that after every album Scott would fuck up, quit the band or they would throw him out, he’d make something sloppy or the DeLeo’s would make something sloppy, and then they’d get back together and make an album just a little bit less good than their previous record until they weren’t putting out a quality product anymore. This proves that these guys were truly greater than the sum of their parts. And that is the definition of a band to me.

I couldn’t get into Velvet Revolver. I wish that Cherry Rose would have happened instead. That was the rumored project with the remaining members of Guns N’ Roses and Buckcherry frontman Josh Todd. But alas it wasn’t meant to be. Ok, I’ll admit it, I still kinda want to see STP again for nostalgia’s sake i guess. So i suppose we can start the chess clock on Weiland’s next drug Arrest.

Who wants in on the pool? I’ve got my money on possession and DUI for July.

Les Paul is my absolute hero. If you go to my myspace, you’ll see his photo in my “Who i’d like to meet:” section. (Right next to Cyndi Lauper, Rick Nielsen from Cheap Trick and Prince). That is a very exclusive club i’d say. He is still alive today and at 92 I hear tell that he still plays a regular Monday night show in New York City somewhere. My goal for the year is to visit New York because believe it or not, I’ve never been! How is that possible? I probably know just as much about New York as I do Los Angeles and I’ve lived here a full year already! So when I go, if he’s playing, I have to meet Les Paul!

What is he responsible for? You might be saying to yourself. (Don’t lie, I know you are) Well firstly, without Mr. Polsfuss we wouldn’t have multitrack recording. Is that important, you say? Oh, naive one. He started out using muiltiple records to multiply the sound and moved on to invent the first muiltitrack Reel-to-Reel tape recorder. (Which was pretty much the industry standard until recently when computers caught up) See, this is pretty important when you consider how every album has been recorded since the 1940s is because of him. There would be no overdubs, no artists harmonizing with themselves, no multiple takes to get the record “perfect”. And like how many guitarists lately have you seen use loop pedals to layer their sound and play multiple parts live? Think about how empty those Beatle records would be if there wasn’t all of that crazy shit going on through “Tomorrow Never Knows”?! He also invented Reverb. (which means no Surf or Rockabilly Sound.)

Yeah duh, I almost forgot to mention that he also invented the solid body electric guitar. The sexiest thing in the world, right? The man is a fucking wizard. He’s like Gandalf of the Guitar. His name is on his guitar and yours (if you’re cool); and it is pretty much the most best guitar ever. (Sorry Strat players, its not even close. Tele players, you’re not too far off.) All of that and he was a high school dropout.

NOW BEHOLD HIS WIZARDRY, AND WORSHIP BEFORE THE DARK LORDS MULTI-TRACK ALCHEMY:

Thanks to Eric Logan for this clip.

Vampire Weekend is blowing up pretty big here on the West Coast thanks largely to their heavy rotation on indie 103.1 as of late. I’m actually pretty glad to know that the midwest is getting some exposure to them as well. Bless Myspace. Their Self-Titled Album is full of upbeat ska/island-influenced Brooklyn hipsterness. The singles “A Punk” and “Mansard Roof” are a good place to start of course. Despite being a slim 4-piece band, the record is full of tasty bite-sized classical string arrangements; i’ll be inclined to check them out live to see what they do to supplement this small but crucial part of their songs. This album is either a bit schitzophrenic or just a lovely little paradox. Its simple, yet lush; its very chill, but gets pretty dancable. This album is very, very East Coast with songs like “Boston”, “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa” and “Walcott”; maybe this will gain some points for the East Coast to make up for how lame the last Interpol record was.

My fav. song so far seems to be the last track on the album “The Kids Don’t Stand A Chance”.

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The “band” from the other coast you should check out is Coconut Records which is the product of Jason Schwartzman (formerly of Phantom Planet, actor: Rushmore, I ? Huckabees). His album Nighttiming is also very cute and accessable yet twice as schitzophrenic as the Vampire Weekend Record. It does some heavy borrowing from a very traditional alternative sound, dare I say even Weezer-esqe at times? I said it. And don’t forget I also said “at times” because please note that this album has a bit of an identity crisis, not that its necessarily a bad thing. Then again, I haven’t met an actor out here yet that wasn’t half nutters. So far the banger for me on this record is, “Minding My Own Business” and the current single “West Coast” which has a very similar taste to Phantom Planet’s “California” (which is admittedly still my first morning alarm). If you want the “If you like ____ then you’ll like this album” then i’d say Rilo Kiley/The Elected fans will definitely dig it. Its important to note that some of the gems on this record come from the talents of Zooey Deschanel (who is beyond gorgeous) and also Kirsten Dunst (who was hovering around me during the Stooges set at SXSW last year and in person looks like Gollum). This album is short (maybe 30-40 mins?) but sweet as Schwartzman has left out a lot of the pointless intros and excessive choruses that seem to be clutter up all too many recent “indie” records. He stretches for the cred, but not too far and comes up successfully with a very genuine piece of work.

She can’t play an instrument, her performances turn to shit, she has no stage presence, she’s a goddamned junkie, and it seems that her whole album was Mark Ronson (Because it sounds exactly the same as the 50 other soul-regurgitated anglo-turds he produced last year*). So why did this bitch win so many awards? I think Leslie Feist should deathmatch her for the grammys she rightfully deserved. Watch out, Feist! She could be on PCP with the strength of 10 emaciated models! Here’s the video of Wino smoking crack in case you haven’t seen it. I hope they throw that dried up hack in prison and force her to listen to her vomit-inducingly unironic song until she snuffs it.

I stopped watching the Grammys a few years ago. I should say rather, that I stopped beliving that they mean anything. They really don’t.** The industry is dead (thank god) and it seems that only Major Label Artists get any props for the music of 2007. Well, what the fuck? Cassadaga came out last year and all it won was for BEST PACKAGING? (It is pretty fucking sweet if you haven’s seen it.) But the point I’m making is that there are Hundreds of AMAZING bands that made some amazing music last year and some worthless assholes in the Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences are trying to tell you that Amy Winehouse made the best achievements in music last year. Go Die.

I’m not trying to be pessimistic but I hung out with too many musicians last year that treated it all too much like a job. It’s not. Its better than a job, its what you are! Be professional but HAVE FUN! Thats the reason that you got into it in the first place, right? If not then STOP DOING IT! I was fortunate enough that I also hung out with plenty of musicians that worked their asses off, made great music, put everything they had financially, emotionally and physically into their music and they got little to no recognition outside of Pitchfork.com. I guess more importantly is that they have a connection to THE FANS and people who came to see them live. And thats what’s really important. Awards are ridiculous; the next time you hear about one, spit on the ground.

I don’t even care that the death of the music industry has snuffed my dream of designing album artwork for a living. At least I’m still doing packaging that millions of people see and I’ll still be alive with a career next year (hopefully). Hey Amy, here’s Renfro’s dealers’ number, give him a call when you come to L.A.

*Lily Allen you’re excused because you are still adorable.

**Congrats to The Flight of the Conchords

Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s have been named one of Spin’s bands to watch this year. I caught their performance at SXSW last year and it blew me away. I have long ago been hardened by the malaise of catching way too many shows but the magic was definitely there with these guys. Its a little folk with a touch of the indie orchestra. Most of what I was told about them consisted of rumors that someone heard while staying at their Indianapolis commune (of sorts). Half truths like: “They have bunk beds stacked to the ceiling and sleep 9 to a room.”, “They all fuck” and the best was “Their percussionist is always TRIPPING!” During the live show his very energetic and interpretive dance seemed to be evidence enough to support that claim.

Rumors or no, the fact is that they are amazing on record as well as live. Get their 2006 album, “Dust of Retreat” Another one is coming soon (being finished as we speak).