Today we vote… for THAT ONE!

Congratulations, Mr. President.

Nate Silver is a statistician who regularly runs numbers (not for the mob) in Major League Baseball to predict who will win games/the pennant/the world series. He has applied the same knack for knumbers (tehe) to the Presidential Race on his website FiveThirtyEight.com and thankfully. Brother Obama is gonna kick the shit out of McCancer with a pretty hawt margin. As of today he’s predicting 347.6 electoral votes for Obama (granola eating, flag burning, freedom hating blue states) to McCancer’s 190.4 in all of those shitty backward-ass states where people go to snakecharmer shaker churches and marry kin. He figures a 90.7% probablility of this glorious outcome.

Interestingly enough, because our home state of Nebraska has a state government that does shit it’s own way (Unicameral Motherfucker!), we’ve broken up our electoral votes so that theoretically the whole state’s electoral votes don’t have to just go to ONE candidate. There is a high probability that he won’t win, but Barack Obama is within 6 - 10% of McDouche in the Omaha and Lincoln based districts (the only inhabitable parts of the state). The remaining Western Nebraska district on the other hand is a cesspool of uneducated bible thumpers. Proving again that the republican candidate is very popular in places where nothing happens but sheep rape.

But you still have to vote! We haven’t officially won this thing yet, peoples! So vote the shit out of that shit on November 4th, yo!

America: “Yes We Can”

I just wanted to take this opportunity to get overzealously political and endorse the shit out of Barack Obama…

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Native son of Chicago, Comedian Bernie Mac died this morning from Pneumonia after dealing with a nasty bout of Sarcoidosis (scary shit). (Chicago Tribune Announcement) He was only 50. Besides how young he was it’s sad that the last news items on the Mac before he died were over some offhand Obama comments which were mostly just taken too seriously. It’s Humor, People. I know we have to save the country and all but remember that Comedians are here to make our lives better (except for maybe Andy Dick). J/K.