It’s coming soon. I can feel it. I’ve noticed more and more that I’m no longer fucking broke. I have debt, sure, but I’m starting to turn into an adult that can go out and buy shit to better my surroundings. I’ve asked myself “what home furnishings and home accessories should I buy?” And god has answered my prayers with one gentle word: KNIVES!!!

God started small by saying, “Hey, how about you have some knives in the kitchen… and how about they be going through a little guy?” That’s when I asked God if he’d ever considered seeing a therapist. To which God replied, “Thats not covered by my health insurance.” “What is?” I responded. And we both chuckled. Then the almighty said unto me, “You know what? I was just fucking around about the little guy with the knives through him idea. Maybe we should just stab a bunch of knives into the wall and hang our coats on them?” To which I replied, “God, I love you.” And God curled up into my lap and started purring (cause he’s really a cat).

Then just because he likes being the guy who names things before people can invent them so he can claim that he had the idea first, God went kinda crazy and just started naming off shit around the house that could be made of knives, (Guy holding a Knife Outline Shadow Shower Curtain*, Knife 3-panel folding Room Divider, Knife Christmas Wreath, Knives for legs Coffee Table, Knife Mirror [drew up about 4 of these], Knife Bookshelf…) I kinda lost interest because it was Wednesday and South Park was on. Then it ended up not being a very good episode cause it kinda feels like the middle of the season so I watched an old one and it was a little better. Then there was a bunch of honking and bad driving outside because there was a show at the Hollywood Bowl a couple blocks away. I found out all of those bad, rude, loud drivers went to see Jay-Z and Mary J. Blige. There are too many J’s in the world. Then God told me about the Earthquake in April of 2009 and I said, “Wait, that hasn’t happened yet!” and he said, “Oh yeah, well nevermind, don’t worry about it, forget I said anything” And my attention span is short, so I did.

*I unfortunately found out this exists but compared to what I had in my head is WAAAAY poorly designed so I’m not even going to link it. and JUST SO YOU KNOW, I did sketches of about everything I mentioned and almost all of which can actually be made with a few quick welds and screws.