Well i’ve been told that I did pretty well on my predictions. I only wish that I was 2 blocks away from here figuring out where the real after party is. I killed a bottle of 2 Buck Chuck Chardonnay tonight watching what the booze is telling me is the best/most multicultural Oscars in a long time. Good Show, how good was Jon Stewart. Take that MTV for cancelling his show! (see last week’s Trashing). Answers in Green mean I was fucking right. And apparently now an Orange ribbon means to close Gitmo. A black ribbon should mean “Lets hang this administration by their own small intestines”. I’m wearing that one right now.

SO LETS SEE HOW GOOD I AM!

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” -I got this one right. No competition though really.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men”-Correcto. Vato Bueno. El Creep-o Haircutto.

Performance by an actress in a leading role
I guess you can’t trust an instinct that came from an R-Rated dream. Sorry Laura Linney.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
I had Cate Blanchette pegged for the consulation prize of best supporting but Tilta Swinton grabbed the award for best creepily thin british woman playing an american this year.

Best animated feature film of the year
“Ratatouille” -Correct again. Sorry Aqua Teens.

Achievement in art direction
Sweeney Todd took it. I had the Golden Compass. I didn’t see the film, I’m guessing it had creepy Tim Burton-esque things.

Achievement in cinematography
“There Will Be Blood”- Correct.

Achievement in costume design
“Elizabeth: in the Golden Age”- How silly of me.

Achievement in directing
“No Country for Old Men” -I’m going to use my parents distain as the mile marker in any good film. They told me that they saw Fool’s Gold over Juno this weekend.

Best documentary feature
I kinda knew that “Taxi to the Dark Side” would take it but I figured that 4 movies about war and Iraq and one about healthcare that the dark horse would win. But the dark horse couldn’t afford his health insurance and had to be put down.

Achievement in film editing
Stupid Bourne Ultimatum.

Best foreign language film of the year
“The Counterfeiters” Austria -Good Posters, Trust your graphic designer.

Achievement in makeup
So making an attractive French Woman look like an attractive French woman is apparently harder than making a man with tentacles for a beard.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
“Atonement” Dario Marianelli -Yeah, typewriters should be in every emo band too.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
“Falling Slowly” from “Once” Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova -I only listened to 30 seconds of that song and I pegged it for best. Too bad the music industry is dead or i’d have an A&R career.

Best motion picture of the year
“No Country for Old Men” A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers -Hooray for Snuff Films!

Achievement in sound editing
Curse you Matt Damon for taking another win from the Transformers!

Achievement in visual effects
Melodie thinks that this might help convince them to make another Golden Compass movie. I hope so, too.

Adapted screenplay
No Country Grabbed this one too. I kinda think at this point that P.T. Anderson got the shaft tonight. No love for the valley.

Original screenplay
“Juno”, Written by Diablo Cody -I’m actually really tired of all the attention that has been brought to her being a stripper. It was in Minnesota, she was still wearing a parka, so it’s not the same thing. But I’m glad I was right about this one too. But now there is so much more pressure for her to follow it up really big. I don’t wish that upon anyone.

I knew it would be a big day for the Coen Bros. And they totally deserve it. I did pretty well and I hope I won my office pool (I already won the Super Bowl pool on blind luck). I know I really rip into some stuff and seem really bitter but I think tonights Oscars were the best I’ve seen in a long fucking time. Maybe next year I’ll get to go to some parties. You can email me if you have the hook up.