Because so many summer movies suck, I’ve been watching them for free on watch-movies.net. I am so glad I didn’t fork over real monies to see turd sandwiches like Zohan, The Love Guru and the Happening… all of which I watched today.

Midway through Zohan I noticed an actor playing a redneck and said to myself, “Is that Dave Fucking Matthews?” I actually said this aloud because I haven’t talked to a real human being in a couple days and I’m a little crazy. But then I checked his IMDB and noticed that he has 2 more upcoming acting gigs. Are there no more actors? I see out of work douchebags all the time here, surely they could use a job.

One of those films is in pre-production right now called The Other Side and among the co-stars of what could be an amazing rock-opera is Maynard James Keenan (of Tool, listed with 6 roles), Alanis Morissette (mentioned on this site last week), Jason Lee, Eddie Izzard and Woody Harrelson. And a couple more douchey scientologists not worth mentioning. Everyone has weird character names that sound like they came out of Harmony Korine films so hopefully next year when it comes out I’ll have something that I can actually see in a theatre. Well I guess I don’t mind if they get rid of these “superstars”. Their movies are shit.

But please, don’t go making films based on YouTube clips just yet.