I’d like to see you choke yourself out. Just hold your throat until it goes dark. There are a few of your co-workers standing around, they’ll catch you. Then I’ll buy this car.

I drove all the way out to Santa Monica today to check out Volkswagens. Apparently there is a limit on their appreciation of BRAND LOYALTY. Because my car is a 1995 Jetta, it doesn’t qualify and they weren’t going to  hook me up with the discount. Does that make me any less loyal than someone who bought a 2001? I think not.

I really want to buy a new car but I can’t see paying $250 a month for 4 years ON A LEASE as worth it. I drove some cars that I really liked, but they would be $400 a month (It’s not to be, my sweet GTI). So, no new car for me …yet. I don’t so much have a problem with the money as I have a problem with driving the same car for 4 years when it’s not the one I wanted. I almost bought a black 4 door Rabbit, but I decided to wait a bit.

I knew today wasn’t the day (even though i’ve got some bank) so I totally fucked with the dealers just to see how low they would go and observe how they fight for a deal. What started out as a conversation about a $300/mo payment went all the way down to $200 on my way out the door. It was vicious. And I’m ballsy enough that I might walk in 3 months later (when they are trying to unload the 08’s) and ask for the same. Every little thing you tell a dealer, they use. I was wearing a Go-Go’s shirt so they tried to sell me Rock and Roll. Just to try to escape I told them that my industry is fickle and we could all be out of a job soon and they tried to tell me that, “You can’t go through life living in fear.” True that, VW.

So actually in the middle of the deal one of the other salesman (who was pretty honest for a dealer) told me that in a couple months they will be trying to get rid of the 08 stock and they’ll get cheap again. So i’ll just have to wait for that. But they put up these sucker deals to attract customers ($199/mo, no money down, blah blah blah) and then they try to squeeze an extra hundred out of you per month. It might not seem shady but when you figure thats $1200 more a year (equivalent to 10 student loan payments or just over 1 months rent) then you really have to ask of their integrity. Why can’t they just say, “This is how much this car is, its the cheapest we can do it. You want it?” I know the answer, it’s because of Chumps. I wasn’t going to be one of them, not today at least.

But I still need a better car. I’ll be the chump when my 95 86’s itself on the 101. Oh well, they weren’t going to give me much for it anyway.

Before I went to college, I worked at a Ford dealership and met some shady, fucked up salesmen. They looked down on the people who service the cars and thought they were so great because they sold them. You know what, dude, the cars could sell themselves. You’re just paid to fuck the buyers out of a little extra monies. Because of that I approach all of them with my knife out. Better safe than sorry when you deal with people who make their living off the monthly struggle of others.

But it sure would be nice to roll around in something in L.A. that doesn’t occasionally st-st-stutter.