Sarah Palin is gold for Democrats. Strike that…she’s platinum. She is the absolute most valuable asset the Democrats have against Republicans. She’s worth far more to us than Rush or Dick or Steele or Newt. In fact, the only Republican on earth who is worth more is George Bush, but he’s apparently gone into witness protection since the election. Every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth, either something stupid comes out or something hilarious ensues. Platinum.
When John McCain picked this unqualified idiot for vice president he virtually conceded the presidency to Barack Obama. I will be eternally grateful to John McCain for that. Conservatives love Sarah Palin. Infatuated is probably a better term. So much so that they believe this weird mythology about her. That she is a fiscal champion (even though as mayor of Wasilla she left the town 20 million dollars in debt). That she fights government waste (she actively supported the “Bridge to Nowhere”, then flip-flopped, then took the government money anyway). That she is the very definition of ethics (she was found guilty of abuse of power in the Troopergate scandal by a Republican dominated committee). She’s been a complete fraud from the beginning and even Alaskans have taken notice as her approval rating has plummeted 30 points in the past few months. But now the freakshow has gotten even better
I worked 14 eyeraping hours today at my thankless hellhole of an office design job. I wish I could post the Weekly Trashing about celebrity glorifications of violence and Cappucino Shakes but my brain is going to fall out of my ear and my cat looks like he’s having too much fun sleeping that I need to join him. I’m a day late with this… but it’s still time to PARTY LIKE A BARACK*STAR!
If interested, I tried to host this week’s Splattercast @ DeadLantern.com. This week’s topic is TECHNOLOGY IN HORROR. Fans of horror click away.
Just think, in just One Week we will have elected the first African-American as President! And we will put a dirty old, out-of-touch shitbag in the toilet of failure for hopefully the last time! And with any luck California will have the wisdom to vote in the interest of HUMAN RIGHTS and these religious psychos will fuck off with their ban on gay marriage! Vote No On Prop 8 and Hell Yeah on Barack Obama for President! Now enjoy this presidential dance-off video (the production quality is actually very good):
Nate Silver is a statistician who regularly runs numbers (not for the mob) in Major League Baseball to predict who will win games/the pennant/the world series. He has applied the same knack for knumbers (tehe) to the Presidential Race on his website FiveThirtyEight.com and thankfully. Brother Obama is gonna kick the shit out of McCancer with a pretty hawt margin. As of today he’s predicting 347.6 electoral votes for Obama (granola eating, flag burning, freedom hating blue states) to McCancer’s 190.4 in all of those shitty backward-ass states where people go to snakecharmer shaker churches and marry kin. He figures a 90.7% probablility of this glorious outcome.
Interestingly enough, because our home state of Nebraska has a state government that does shit it’s own way (Unicameral Motherfucker!), we’ve broken up our electoral votes so that theoretically the whole state’s electoral votes don’t have to just go to ONE candidate. There is a high probability that he won’t win, but Barack Obama is within 6 – 10% of McDouche in the Omaha and Lincoln based districts (the only inhabitable parts of the state). The remaining Western Nebraska district on the other hand is a cesspool of uneducated bible thumpers. Proving again that the republican candidate is very popular in places where nothing happens but sheep rape.
But you still have to vote! We haven’t officially won this thing yet, peoples! So vote the shit out of that shit on November 4th, yo!
If you haven’t been watching The Daily Show/Colbert Report lately, then you haven’t been watching the right news. They’ve done a wonderful job finding the archival news footage necessary to point out what a hypocrite John McCain truly is. None of the News Channels seem to be calling him on his shit so its unfortunate that we have to rely on COMEDY CENTRAL to dig deeper than the so-called “Journalists”. You may be against those programs because they are completely Liberal, “but as we know reality has a liberal bias”.
P.S. Fuck You with a non-kosher pig’s leg, Joe Lieberman you fucking narc-ass traitor assclown!
Only in this video is Hillary able to fuck Obama, here in the real world, its the other way around. Just the thought of 2 bitter rivals going at it is pretty hot though, right? All of that anger and tension from over a year of arguing, debating, lying and ass-kissing wiped clean in a few quick thrusts. (Thats how I roll) Maybe it would inspire other enemies to put down their guns and turn out the lights. Why be fighting when we could be fucking? I think we need to get Israel and Palestine together with an empty warehouse full of Ecstasy. It should all fall into place after that.
This Sheperd Fairy reimagining comes courtesy of my co-worker Hamlet K. I changed my party affiliation for the California Primary and will shortly return it to Independent for the General election where I will hopefully again cast my vote for Obama. (click for full size)
I got really scared a couple years ago when I heard that Hillary was thinking of running for president. It didn’t scare me that she would be president. What frightened me is when a friend said, “You realize of course that this would mean that since 1988 our presidents have been Bush, Clinton, Bush and Clinton”. That would be a minimum of 24 years under 2 names. Sounds pretty much like a dictatorship to me. I’m ready for a brother to shake up the honkies in Washington.
Sarah Palin is gold for Democrats. Strike that…she’s platinum. She is the absolute most valuable asset the Democrats have against Republicans. She’s worth far more to us than Rush or Dick or Steele or Newt. In fact, the only Republican on earth who is worth more is George Bush, but he’s apparently gone into witness protection since the election. Every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth, either something stupid comes out or something hilarious ensues. Platinum.
