I can tell you about the band 100 Monkeys but chances are you won’t read anything I’m saying because you’re probably too busy screaming. Why? Because 100 Monkeys features Jackson Rathbone, better known as dreamboat Jasper Cullen from the Twilight Saga. And that’s fine.
Remind those stupid motherfuckers that it isn’t real. None of it. Your “holy books” are dangerously outdated. Look at me marginalizing what you’ve wasted THOUSANDS of years on by putting my “you-are-all-fucking-loony” quotes around it. The whole fucking thing. None of it’s real. None of it’s holy. If anything the whole world is holy. People are holy. Love people. Not Allah or Yaweh or God or Mohammed. The Earth is your God. You came from it, you couldn’t survive without it and most importantly YOU CAN SEE IT! Boom! If you want to fight, how about you fight pollution and poaching and everything else that harms the only reason you exist. There are no virgins, there is no heaven. Virgins usually just lay there anyway. You are just an asshole with a gun, an asshole with a bomb, an asshole on a rug 5 times a day, an asshole with a bagel and a lot of money and bad sideburns. I hate you all because you do NOTHING to help the world or ANYBODY besides yourselves! You fucking selfish assholes.
I am embarrassed for civilization that Mamma Mia beat Dark Knight in DVD sales. Christ America, really? I was in line behind some woman buying that stupid shit at Target whilst Christmas shopping. She told me it was a present, and I really did have to bite my tongue to keep myself from telling her that she should go back and get The Dark Knight instead, and that no one deserves to unwrap that on Christmas. No one.
The holidays are a wonderful time to vent the frustrations you’ve spent a year repressing. I think I should release mine here on something that doesn’t really matter instead of on my family today. Here goes:
6am flights, Ick. LAX, Double Ick. I didn’t go to sleep last night because the airport shuttle came at 3:30am and the flight that I was going to get a good power nap in there just happened to be 2 goddamned screaming kids. One was named Carson and the other Cadence, I overheard their names being announced to no less than 5 other passengers and both flight attendants, and I had headphones on. What’s with all of the “C” names anyway? A few years ago it was all -ayden names (Hayden, Jayden, Thayden-WTF?) While I’m in the Seinfeld spirit, what’s with all of this procreation? What the fuck have you done that you think you should make more of you!? Cured any diseases lately? Made any lasting artworks? I’m speaking directly to you, boring L.L. Bean and Husker hat wearing couple with your parent jeans. If it was summer I bet you’d be wearing Crocs. Does the world really need more insurance salesmen? Sterilization for all. Children of Men wasn’t a warning, it was a utopia, no kids watching Dora the Explorer at FULL VOLUME to stay distracted. (And yes, MaT, I realize they ripped it off.)
Really, Governor Blagojevich. Really?
Yay, I live in the most politically corrupt state in the US! Even Bush calls his behavior ‘astounding’.
I took a call at work from one of our retailers in Boston who told me, “You guys (Illinois) are getting some bad press these days”. Such is true.
If you go anywhere rural… they are totally into God. I guess it’s because they have nothing better to do than feel guilty about the few minor pleasures they take in their little lives. Or maybe it’s because they are so fucking bored with there being nothing better to do than get drunk that they hope beyond reason that after you die you go somewhere that all of the attractive single women didn’t get the fuck out of after High School.
In the Inland California suburban wasteland of Rancho Cucamonga, where people love that their city sounds like a Bob Hope punchlin, pro-religious billboards are everywhere because, you guessed it, there is nothing better to do in the Inland Empire. So when a billboard saying, “Imagine No Religion” is put up by the Wisconsin group the Freedom from Religion Foundation over 90 Complaints from scared little sheep started bleeting in to their city government (as if they have anything to do with anything!) and the city asked the sign company if their was a way to have the billboard removed. Eventually it was taken down and a refund was issued to the FFRF.
I think that Katy Perry is a manufactured celebrity. Just a few years ago she was gay for Jesus and putting out bad records under her given name Katy Hudson. A Capitol Record$ fronted producer and image consultant gang-bang later and she’s all over your radio and the stinking corpse of MTV with her gayploitative songs and turquoise Wayfarers. Her music is crap, her music career is probably over after this album. “I Kissed A Girl” isn’t an original song title or concept, it isn’t nearly as clever as Jill Sobule’s (who I once gave a bunch of weed to but that’s besides the point). She’s as boring as her boyfriend and she gives bi girls a bad name.
Your Alaskan mom may be pokable, but she is fucking stupid.
Bristol Palin is a whore. “Teaching” Abstinence will NEVER work and republicans live in denial that their perfect teenagers will EVER have sex. God is totally watching over their sweet virgin snatch, right? Well guess what? Christians get more turned on by doing what they are told not to do and are the biggest whores I know. (And I know a lot of whores…I live in Hollywood.) No matter how many times they are told to wait for marriage to have sex “Be fruitful and multiply” is a nasty bit of subconcious programming sitting in the back of their heads waiting for a wine cooler to go off. I’ll laugh my fucking ass off when we find out that Sarah Palin’s extra-retard baby is actually Bristol Palin’s first attempt at overpopulation. Kids, Juno wasn’t an instruction manual. You are not a quirky, intelligent teen with a hamburger phone.
Peep this awesome video by Huffington Post contributor Max Blumenthal regarding the teaching of Sex Education and the Republican Party:
So this is how it goes:
I like vampires. A lot. I hear about the movie adaptation of Twilight, I’m pretty sure before I’d ever heard about the books. I am of course interested because again, I have this *ahem*, problem. I see a poster and a preview, and I become more interested, so I buy Twilight (the book) and find I can not put it down, and the same goes for the other 3 in the series-reading the books to and from work, on my lunch breaks, and in bed-averaging about a day and a half per book.
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Warning: This is just a job dissatisfaction rant. You may find little to no value in this; unless you want something to help you feel better about your own situation.
Now I know that I could be doing MUCH worse in life. I make enough that I can afford an apartment in one of the better parts of Hollywood proper…but it’s not much. I’m still sitting at about $3,000 less than I should be making… in Nebraska. So that doesn’t say much for my negotiating skills when I accepted the job. But, Fuck It. At the time I was living in the worst situation in my entire life (in Burbank) and I just straight up needed the money. It was the 2nd job I applied for, so I thought it was “lucky” or “meant to be”. (I could be doing shit work at Liquid Generation and driving all the way down to Wilshire.)
So it seems that once a month I feel the need to spout off about our bullshit “Drug Control Policies” here in America. Of course there are bad drugs out there causing harm and some people should be locked up for selling and distributing them but the hypocrisy of calling Marijuana a class I felony on par with cocaine and heroin is fucking preposterous. Especially when I can go to the store and pick up a bottle of grain alcohol and a pack of cigarettes that’s the real crime. What else? …It’s treating a symptom and not a cause… it targets blacks… it puts non-violent offenders in a dangerous environment where they learn to be criminals… one dollar of treatment saves 7 in the penal system… it ties up our courts… it has made drugs more potent and increased violence and decreased the price… get it?
Now that I’ve got that out of the way, A GLIMMER OF HOPE! Representative Barney Frank (D-MA) and 6 other Reps have recently introduced H.R. 5843 known as the Act to Remove Federal Penalties for the Personal Use of Marijuana by Responsible Adults which would make it federally legal (as opposed to our lovely Cali freedom) to possess up to 100 Grams of Marijuana for personal use.
Actual text:
Notwithstanding any other provision of law, no penalty may be imposed under an Act of Congress for the possession of marijuana for personal use, or for the not-for-profit transfer between adults of marijuana for personal use. For the purposes of this section, possession of 100 grams or less of marijuana shall be presumed to be for personal use, as shall the not-for-profit transfer of one ounce or less of marijuana, except that the civil penalty provided in section 405 of the Controlled Substances Act (21 U.S.C. 844a) may be imposed for the public use of marijuana if the amount of the penalty does not exceed $100.
To me this seems like a GENEROUS amount of weed. 100 grams is about 3.5 oz, or just under a QP. But I guess they needed a number large enough to last through Bonnaroo or something?
Well I’m all for it and I’m planning to write my senators in Nebraska asking them to support it. (And you can too). Our current system imprisons 800,000 people a year, most of them non-violent “offenders”. According to CNN someone is arrested for Pot every 38 seconds. This shit can ruin peoples lives, and over what? A drug that has never, ever killed anyone? A personal choice? YOUR PERSONAL FREEDOMS!? Weak.
Now trip balls on this 70s Hanna-Barbera anti-drug spot!
For those of you that enjoy “extreme relaxation”, your day has come. Serious. This is a real product on the market. That one could actually purchase.
Drank is apparently the latest “lifestyle” beverage to hit the market. Considered the anti-energy drink, it combines Valerian Root, Rose Hips, and Melatonin to “slow your roll” after a hectic day. It also promises to sharpen your attention at the same time. For reals. And it’s chock-full of sugar, much like its energy-drink counterpoints. Sensing a conflict in the product information?
Part of the inspiration for this ridiculous beverage comes from Purple Drank, a recreational drug of choice for some, a mere cough suppressant for others. Woah, my roll has definitely slowed.
Look for this carbonated clusterfuck in liquor stores in the near future. I bet it goes great with vodka…
Awww, isn’t that precious?
It sounds like Iraq here in Hollywood tonight. I’m sitting on my balcony and staring at a smoky, red sunset. It’s beautiful. The weather is perfect. Who could possibly ask for more than what we have right now?
But what do we really have?
As each little explosion and extravagantly detailed fireworks displays echo across the Southland I have to think that the better percentage of those explosions have absolutely nothing to do with America. So let me get this straight…
We shoot off fireworks today to celebrate our independence… which we spend the rest of the year throwing away and taking total advantage of. We shell out millions of our devalued dollars to buy explosives from China so we can fund their abusive totalitarian government? I have to think that the guy shooting bottle rockets off his balcony the next building over probably can’t name the 50 states and hasn’t been to more than 3 of them. Is this how he uses his freedom? Does he have nothing better to spend his money on? I think that in order to purchase fireworks there should be a RIGOROUS battery of questions about America. If you fail, no fireworks for you. Most importantly there should be an essay portion that asks the simple question, “Are you free?”
With out of control gas prices pushing record profits to Bush’s friends in the oil industry, we are no longer free to travel across the country to see the REAL beauty of America. It’s become too expensive to fly or drive anywhere beautiful that doesn’t have a mall. Have you ever driven through Colorado, Oregon or Utah, its insane how fucking beautiful they are! And in my case even if i could afford to travel (which really I can’t), like most Americans I am only allowed a week of vacation time from my prison of a job. For the record, most European countries allow 5 or more weeks of paid vacation. And they would have paid for the college that got me into my current position as well. Oh yeah, and healthcare would have been included. Because that’s what truly free countries do for their citizens when THEY are the ones in control of their governments. I am a graphic designer, I stare at a screen all day and yet my job doesn’t have a vision plan. You should see my lovely teeth though!
Let’s be honest, Corporations own America. Lobbyists control the lawmakers that should be listening to us. Putting OUR interests first. The only way they will hear us is if we vote for candidates who will put the citizens before the pharmaceutical, tobacco, and weapons industries. Our priorities should be the health and education of our citizens. Not giving us cigarettes to keep us sick, drugs to keep us alive and smoking and guns to finish the job. We need to show our elected officials that if they don’t listen to US instead of $$$, then we will fucking destroy them. (um, figuratively remove their power?)
When we don’t vote, they don’t hear us, and America… you haven’t been voting. And as long as guns are legal, we shouldn’t be using them on each other. We should be using them on anyone who feels they are above following the Constitution. Because that’s what it says we are supposed to do.
I’m going to call this a Weekly Trashing even though I’m not really complaining about anything. I just haven’t done one in a while. But I have something to bitch about anyway, just hold on.
I bought a nice TV recently. I’ve never owned anything besides a shitty tube TV ever. I didnt even own a television for the first year I lived here in L.A. I figured, “Why get one when I can watch everything online?” But then I got my SNES and NES sent out here (Zelda ain’t gonna save herself ya know). Be Jealous, when was the last time you played Starfox anyway? I picked it up the other day and killed the shit in 20 minutes. How is it I can I remember where every power up is on a game I played 15 years ago but can’t remember simple things at work sometimes? *shakes fist at sky*
So part of my magical new TV in its autoprogramming glory found all of these MAGICAL digital channels. My remote has a decimal point on it! What else has been hiding from my periphery? It’s like when you find out that everyone you know orders a slice of cheese on their apple pie! Sounds crazy but its true and its as if the whole world is in on the conspiracy.
So you know I’m not totally hopeless, I’d heard of digital radio before; I just didn’t know about all of these magic channels. Some of them seem kinda JV. If only this opened TV up to Pump Up The Volume style pirate stations! But alas, we’re totally in a police state. Authorities have no heart for creativity. They want to teach you to be resourceful but once you figure out their little system they put you away. Specific example: some kids in Ontario, CA got busted recently for hacking into their schools computer system and changing their grades (WarGames?). Dude, if you’re smart enough to break your school’s security then that should be your pass from high school. What worldly knowledge to you need to know beyond that?
IT guys are loaded. Teachers make shit.
I only watch TV one night of the week. I dont really have to watch it at all anymore thanks to Hulu. But if I’m at home, and its Sunday night then I’m watching The Simpsons, Family Guy, et all. So the worst ending to the week comes on after American Dad in the form of Los Angeles’ nightly news. In the meager 8 minutes i let FOX LA stay on in the background there were 4 violent stories, mostly involving the police and their incompetence. The best/worst one involving the Long Beach Police tasering and shooting a 125 lb. terminally ill lung cancer patient with mental illness. Of course the eyewitness testimony was completely different than the police spokesperson. It seems that the cop accidentally popped the guy tasered on the ground and the police made up a bullshit story that they guy had retard strength and withstood batons and tasers to grab a policeman’s nightstick and they had to take him down. In what fucking fantasy world are tasers ineffective? If you have muscles and nerves then they are going to fuck you up because thats what electricity does to you. Are they hiring out-of-work screenwriters as police spokesmen now?
Have you ever seen the 1988 John Carpenter classic They Live starring Rowdy Roddy Piper? It’s amazing! In the story Roddy finds these glasses that filter out what the media is telling you to its base element. For example, a Mcdonalds billboard would just say EAT or CONSUME and politicians are just telling you to OBEY. (Yes that’s where Sheperd Fairy’s mark came from…and they also see aliens in their true form). So what I see for that short period of time before I shut the tv off in disgust is that:
Your police are violent and will fucking shoot you and get paid leave and are never wrong so do what they say. Also, don’t leave the house, here are some car and food commercials. You’ll be safe if you have this car and won’t have to be a responsible driver. This fast food will make you a closer, more happy family; no home prepared meal can. Go into debt to afford things that are newer because that makes them better and that will make you a better person. Here are some tips to save a nickel or a dime off of a 3 dollar purchase as long as you don’t pay attention to how much of your income your many loan payments are. *click*
There are upwards of 17 million people in the Los Angeles-Riverside-Long Beach area. Of course crazy shit is going to happen but should I be watching a completely unbalanced “report” of it? There is no community catharsis or instructions on what you can do about having terrible public servants. There is no advice on how you can make your own community stronger. They are telling you that the viewing public doesn’t want to see that anyway. They’d show that stuff but they’d lose raitings and they’d lose sponsors. It’s bullshit and I’m not going to watch a second of it anymore, ever. I don’t see who it helps for that to be out in front of anybody if it doesn’t accomplish anything. The citizens of the Long Beach community should have beaten those officers critically with their own clubs and tasers and the anchors should have been the people to give them the order. “I don’t know about you Suzi but if some fucking redneck asshole cops killed my unarmed dying family member, I would beat the shit out of them and park their squad car on their throats.”
On top of that its been hot as fuck here. It’s summer, there are going to be a lot of crazy things happening and I know the news will only be painting a more desperate story. I know I sound like a hippie here but where is the Peace and Love, man? I though weed was legal in this motherfucker? And we can marry whomever the fuck we want! Lets fire the cops and fucking celebrate! Gah, its hot… I need a shower.
Don’t take any guff from these fucking swine.
They overbooked the audience for the pilot taping of Bob & David’s new show “David’s Situation” so lucky you, AvantTrash is the first site to review it.
It’s not very funny, sorry. The first scene that is. Sure, pilots are messy, rough, and usually need a LOT of tweaking. In this case I think they’d need to revamp the show altogether. But this snap judgment is only in regards to the FIRST SCENE which we watched 3 TIMES via Closed Circuit TV from JUST OUTSIDE OF THE STUDIO because they overbooked the audience by about 40 people. So after waiting in line for like an hour at CBS they guide us to this craft services room with a 20-inch TV of the show being taped next door. Fucking Lame.
The show’s main angle seemed to be a 4th wall breaking mockery of sitcoms, delivered a bit half-assed with sitcom cliches that have already been parodied a hundred times. Any post-modernism intended seemed to swallowed up by it’s lack of originality. Harsh, I know but it seems to be well worn territory (remember Garry Shandling’s Sitcom?). So could this indictment be because we were bitter about not getting into the actual taping? Not really. I am a HUGE fan of Mr.Show who has sung its praises and done my part to indoctrinate everyone I know about it for more than a decade, and the only thing I could think about while leaving the studio was “my how they have fallen”.
To spoil it for you the plot of the mock sitcom is that David is done with the Hollywood life and moves to “middle America” to write for an in-flight magazine and becomes roommates with stereotypical hippie Matt Besser and a flag waving old guy played by nobody. (Bob Odenkirk is featured in a very short sidebit)
Hippie Matt: “Did you know that every time you hug someone it releases positive ions into the atmosphere?”
David: “Did you know that every time you hug a hippie you kill a practical thought?”
It had a few laughs but overall wasn’t what any of the 20 or so of us watching would call funny. The highpoint of what we saw was an intro delivered as David would in his standup where he blasts Jeremy Piven and the Hollywood Scene. “And I knew that it was too much when I saw that Jeremy Piven’s dog was wearing the same Von Dutch hat as me.” We didn’t stay for any of the other scenes (they killed the feed in between scenes and we’d already waited enough today) but outside of the studio on our way out we saw B.J. Porter, Mo Collins (featured in the first scene) and Jerry Minor. Before the show when we were parking the car we saw Janeane Garofalo walking to the studio, but can’t be sure she’s in the show or not (probably not).
Btw, David, are you done with standup? I think you are due for more. The inevitable failure of this pilot just might give him the opportunity to do so.
The scene did get a little better the more they worked through it so there is a slight possibility that with A LOT more work it could be passable but I don’t think we will be seeing a Bob & David lump of coal turned into a comedy diamond anytime soon.
co-authored by AliUptown.
Certain songs should be protected against being covered. Not by a bar band, not in karaoke, not at Live Aid, NOT EVER!
Drunken Stepfather posted this live video of Madonna’s “Hung Up” and noted that she fucks up at 1:50 because she is a SHITTY guitar player but I decided to watch it anyway because I was curious at to whether Madonna is actually getting better at guitar…she isn’t. She is constantly looking at her hands and worst of all she doesn’t move around AT ALL when she’s playing. I thought she was a dancer? And I also watched because almost ANY girl looks better when she’s playing a Les Paul. She never really could sing so its a good thing she’s finally trying to validate her “artistic” existence with some musician cred. Thats why I play guitar anyway. So I was watching this video and her absolutely horrid guitar skills and it got to about 4:33 they break into the riff from PANTERA’s “A New Level” off of A Vulgar Display of Power! I know its kind of a generic riff for Pantera but that is exactly the riff, is that legal? It shouldn’t be unless it turned gays and teenage girls into Pantera fans. I was just having a conversation with my co-author here about how people shouldn’t be allowed to cover Michael Jackson or Madonna and I think in this case Madonna shouldn’t be allowed to cover Pantera. Not even that 1 simple riff. I’m also jealous because I really want a black Les Paul Standard and thats what she is pretending to play.
While we are on the subject of covers, allow me to turn you on to one of the best podcasts ever. Its called Coverville and it comes from a guy named Brian Ibbott in Colorado and he does like 3 shows a week and they are nothing but covers. Some are absolutely amazing. Some support my argument of “thou shalt not cover” but its worth subscribing to. Where else are you going to hear an hour of Hall & Oates covers?
And now, to wipe your brain clean of any of that anglophilic albino’s recent musical abortion… fucking PANTERA! (Moscow ca.’91. solo @ 3 mins)
R.I.P. Dimebag
I’ve been in Los Angeles for 1 year, 2 months, 12 days and 5 hours now and I have a very small group of friends to show for my time here. I have come to the conclusion that I must be a total asshole with absolutely no social skills whatsoever otherwise I’d actually be doing something at 11pm on a Friday night. Its not that I didn’t have plans. Someone asked me if I wanted to meet them at a bar. Knowing that people flake like mad around here I made backup plans to meet someone else at the same bar JUST IN CASE person #1 flaked.
I understand that sometimes it can’t be avoided. Sometimes you get REALLY tired or something, it was hot as hell today so if you were outside you are probably destroyed right now. I did some balcony gardening and had to put shoes on because my feet were melting. So I could see calling in flake for that… sometimes. I can also see that if you’ve been in traffic all day (which is like slow moving prison) that you don’t want to drive around and things are really spread out around here (20 minutes to everywhere my ass!) so I can see not wanting to drive… but even the distance flake has its limits… like the fact that I ALWAYS HAVE TO DRIVE.
Well I’m sick of it. I must have no friends at all. Usually I drive and never complain about doing so. Then when it comes to going out and I ask if people want to carpool… they don’t. Awesome, not only are people being assholes to me we can fuck up the environment together! I feel special.
I had a nice Lazy Saturday or Caturday (because I get to be as lazy as Zero). I watched movies [Wristcutters: A Love Story(2006) EuroTrip(2004) and Cutie Honey(2004)] and still managed to make eggs for breakfast, clean up my apartment, repot a plant, do the dishes, wash the cat, make cheesy broccoli and cod for dinner and play guitar all day. So it was all good and productive and I expected a nice night out… that i very much need and deserve considering I WORKED ALL THE WAY THROUGH LAST WEEKEND. But sure enough I started getting messages saying… “Sorry we tired, another time”, no problem I thought, Thats why I made a backup plan yesterday, so I texted my backup and… “Sorry, take a rain check?” Well, I thought this was the raincheck. Seems it never rains in southern California.
I propose a limitation on flaking. You get 2 per month. Seriously, is there no standard anymore? I have a DRASTIC problem with trusting in what others say or KEEPING plans. I don’t claim to NEVER flake but I do claim A VERY LOW FLAKE RATIO. Maybe its just because I have nothing better to do…see no friends.
Everytime I go out, I have a great time. I drink (surprisingly in moderation lately), I dance, I make merriment. So its pretty hard to make friends when I never make it out of the apartment. The double edge of Hollywood is that there are so many people here, so much to do; yet almost everyone you meet is a total flake. (Looking out for #1 much?)
If you plan on moving out here, don’t stay somewhere trustworthy like the midwest for too long. You’ll only be disappointed in the flakedness of others.
I’d like to see you choke yourself out. Just hold your throat until it goes dark. There are a few of your co-workers standing around, they’ll catch you. Then I’ll buy this car.
I drove all the way out to Santa Monica today to check out Volkswagens. Apparently there is a limit on their appreciation of BRAND LOYALTY. Because my car is a 1995 Jetta, it doesn’t qualify and they weren’t going to hook me up with the discount. Does that make me any less loyal than someone who bought a 2001? I think not.
I really want to buy a new car but I can’t see paying $250 a month for 4 years ON A LEASE as worth it. I drove some cars that I really liked, but they would be $400 a month (It’s not to be, my sweet GTI). So, no new car for me …yet. I don’t so much have a problem with the money as I have a problem with driving the same car for 4 years when it’s not the one I wanted. I almost bought a black 4 door Rabbit, but I decided to wait a bit.
I knew today wasn’t the day (even though i’ve got some bank) so I totally fucked with the dealers just to see how low they would go and observe how they fight for a deal. What started out as a conversation about a $300/mo payment went all the way down to $200 on my way out the door. It was vicious. And I’m ballsy enough that I might walk in 3 months later (when they are trying to unload the 08’s) and ask for the same. Every little thing you tell a dealer, they use. I was wearing a Go-Go’s shirt so they tried to sell me Rock and Roll. Just to try to escape I told them that my industry is fickle and we could all be out of a job soon and they tried to tell me that, “You can’t go through life living in fear.” True that, VW.
So actually in the middle of the deal one of the other salesman (who was pretty honest for a dealer) told me that in a couple months they will be trying to get rid of the 08 stock and they’ll get cheap again. So i’ll just have to wait for that. But they put up these sucker deals to attract customers ($199/mo, no money down, blah blah blah) and then they try to squeeze an extra hundred out of you per month. It might not seem shady but when you figure thats $1200 more a year (equivalent to 10 student loan payments or just over 1 months rent) then you really have to ask of their integrity. Why can’t they just say, “This is how much this car is, its the cheapest we can do it. You want it?” I know the answer, it’s because of Chumps. I wasn’t going to be one of them, not today at least.
But I still need a better car. I’ll be the chump when my 95 86’s itself on the 101. Oh well, they weren’t going to give me much for it anyway.
Before I went to college, I worked at a Ford dealership and met some shady, fucked up salesmen. They looked down on the people who service the cars and thought they were so great because they sold them. You know what, dude, the cars could sell themselves. You’re just paid to fuck the buyers out of a little extra monies. Because of that I approach all of them with my knife out. Better safe than sorry when you deal with people who make their living off the monthly struggle of others.
But it sure would be nice to roll around in something in L.A. that doesn’t occasionally st-st-stutter.
