I may technically live in the city of Los Angeles but OFFICIALLY I am a citizen of West Hollywood, CA which has been it’s own entity since 1984. I think the city planners could forsee that LA was set for collapse or realized eventually Sarah Palin would become president and knew us freaks and wierdos would be herded into internment camps for our deviant lifestyles and decided that we should just have our own city so it would be easier to decide where to put the razor-wire fences. Honestly, I can’t see myself living anywhere else or being stuck with a better group of freaks.
Sometimes the wild nights take a couple of strange turns and the next thing you know you’re devising a way to not only destroy your liver with alcohol and your lungs with smoke but we may have collectively devised the largest timebomb you can possibly send down your gullet. I’ve already told you about The Real Sunset Strip, a show that comes live from that famous WeHo drag via USTREAM hosted byScheff and The Hawk whom each have their own regular “narrowcast” channels. Here is a clip that was streamed live recently where the hosts along with myself and photographer Andrew Herrold took a trip to Duke’s Coffee Shop* (between The Whisky A Go-Go and The Cat Club) and had them bring to reality an epicurean idea hatched next to a “street meat” cart in front of The Roxy minutes before the stream began.
The Real Sunset Dog: 1/4lb. Hot Dog wrapped in Bacon, Dipped in Batter and fried (w/Bun).
Optional Condiment Suggestions: Cholula Hot Sauce, Ketchup, Mustard
Estimated Calories:700-1,000+
*Sunset Strip History: The current site of Duke’s Coffee Shop used to be a club called The London Fog, which is where The Doors had their first regular gigs in West Hollywood before becoming the house band next door at The Whisky A Go-Go. Jim Morrison in his later years would probably have eaten The Real Sunset Dog without flinching. He was The Lizard King, he would probably eat anything!
Luca Brasi sleeps wit the fishes…but you can sleep with the horses! Or your prize racehorse’s head at least! It sells here for $45 stuffed…$35 without fiberfill or FREE if you ask Don Corleoné on his daughter’s wedding day.
Brings new meaning to the phrase “going to the mattresses”.
This is a real product. They are relying on the cheekiness of the internets to let their so-fake-it’s-got-to-be-real video sell a 10 cent piece of rubber for $4.95 (but wait, you get one free!) You’re gonna see it anyway, it might as well be here.
How long until they figure out a product that they can call, “I need a blowjob!”? Maybe something that inflates balloons faster?
Maybe this will actually increase the number of handjobs…the world needs them. Real ones are free…usually.
According to Wikipedia, the 12 days of Christmas are supposed to be from Christmas Day to “The Epiphany” and not the 12 days leading up to the Holiday, but I’m pretty sure they made it all up anyway. So here at AvantTrash we are going to instead countdown our 12 favorite Holiday Memes and Videos!
Day 12 = 2002′s Ding Fries Are Done!
This dude always reminded us of our good friend and former roommate Russell.
I can tell you about the band 100 Monkeys but chances are you won’t read anything I’m saying because you’re probably too busy screaming. Why? Because 100 Monkeys features Jackson Rathbone, better known as dreamboat Jasper Cullen from the Twilight Saga. And that’s fine.
On the last night of a month-long tour, Esser and DATAROCK (and KAV for the West Coast) were playing a venue in Seattle rhat completely dropped the ball with the show’s production. The sound was terrible and non-existent in the monitors and the promoter was not-to-be-found until about 10pm and booked this terrible hipster rap act that ate up the headliner’s set time and threw water all over the stage (which doesn’t mix well with electronics!). Also, Seattle (and maybe all of Washington) has this bogus law about “No alcoholic beverages onstage”. All in all, it was a weird scene. But we made the best of it until finally the band was asked to stop playing around 1:30 am.
On top of this, the last night of any tour is subject to some ribbing, some hijinks…you know, shenanigans. One camera can’t possible do this night justice but I can hope that this sheds a little light on the situation. A cautionary tale.
I’m infinitely creeped out by the new trailer for New Moon, the 2nd film in the Mormon Teen Vamporn Twilight saga. Chimpy Eddie Munster Werewolf Tribe (What 17-yr-old gains 30lbs of muscle to keep his role)? Unconvincing “Adrenaline Junkie” Kristen Stewart? Shirtless Emo Robert Pattinson (seeLittle Ashes for homoerotic moneyshot)
Just fuck already, kids! That’s the easiest way to get someone out of your system! Vampy glamour or not once these kids finally hit it it will go from “I can’t live without you. :( ” to “Um, yeah so…you’re great and all… that was fun… I’ve got your number…i’ll call you, really! Let’s get together again, uh, uh…soon!”
By far the creeeeeeeeepiest part of this trailer was “you’re how old?” Dakota Fanning making scarlet sexy immortal jailbait eyes at us like a mini-Madonna ca.1983? Wasn’t she just a yellow baby-toothed 90-year-old Gollem in a tweens body?
I might have to skip this one, I’m in fear of the Mormons taking my soul or wanting to move to Washington or some shit. I’m gonna go have a cry in the shower until I shake some of this confusion.
Dude, I was literally to the left of the dude wearing the Nebraska hat. In fact, I was facing this chick’s direction as this argument went down. Photo via the Journal Star.
I didn’t even know about the health care rally until my girlfriend mentioned it about thirty minutes before it started. Way to go Obama. Utilize your e-mail list a bit better. Anyway, it was a muggy day and I decided to walk down wearing my They Live tee which garnered a bunch of weird facial reactions from the hippy leftists who weren’t sure whether or not I was with the protesters to said protesters who kept taking pictures of my shirt. Seriously. One dude even got out his camcorder and filmed it. Not me, just the tee. I’m sure this image will be popping up on conservative blogs all over the country with “OBEY” replaced with “OBAMA”. Come to think of it, that’s a pretty clever use…
On the West Coast, we haveSteel Panther. A hair metal tour-de-force thats been burning up Monday nights on the Sunset Strip for years! On the East Coast around the same time MetalShop/MetalSkool/SteelPanther was being formed, they had Satanicide. A group of Jer-Z Boyz sent to bring metal back to the jaded Brooklyn alt-hipster-bro culture (w/a Celine Dion cover, even!). From Satanicide came Tragedy: The Metal Tribute to the Bee Gees and now in the wake of the death of the King of Pop comes Dangerous: An All Metal Tribute to Michael Jackson. Based purely on this photo they sent me…I think it should be fucking ridiculous amazing!
Should you be in New York, you should schmon! down to the Bowery Ballroom on August 1st for this show. One night only! Tickets Available Here.
Lookie here, a post from AliUptown! AND a post from AliUptown that’s not vampire-related. Well…mostly. For some odd reason, I started thinking about my grade school/early teen crushes the other day. Color me random. I asked a couple friends around the same age about their crushes and got some very interesting and telling answers. Tiffany Amber Thiessen, Johnathon Taylor Thomas, Tom Cruise (Top Gun Tom Cruise) and even Ben Affleck from Chasing Amy. And since I have been so fucking M.I.A. on here, I figure it was a valid enough topic. So here goes, I ‘m putting it all out on the table. I have no shame.
I got this hot tip in my Spam today about this new artist named Will Smith. He’s a rapper from West Phillidephia (Born and Raised) who goes under the name The Fresh Prince who works with a DJ named Jazzy Jeff.
He has an IMDB page so I’m thinking he has some aspirations of acting. Yeah, good luck, buddy! Welcome to Hollywood! Just like we tell everyone that comes out with stars in their eyes, “You’re gonna make it!”
Just stay away from the Scientologists on Hollywood Blvd!
Sarah Palin is gold for Democrats. Strike that…she’s platinum. She is the absolute most valuable asset the Democrats have against Republicans. She’s worth far more to us than Rush or Dick or Steele or Newt. In fact, the only Republican on earth who is worth more is George Bush, but he’s apparently gone into witness protection since the election. Every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth, either something stupid comes out or something hilarious ensues. Platinum.
When John McCain picked this unqualified idiot for vice president he virtually conceded the presidency to Barack Obama. I will be eternally grateful to John McCain for that. Conservatives love Sarah Palin. Infatuated is probably a better term. So much so that they believe this weird mythology about her. That she is a fiscal champion (even though as mayor of Wasilla she left the town 20 million dollars in debt). That she fights government waste (she actively supported the “Bridge to Nowhere”, then flip-flopped, then took the government money anyway). That she is the very definition of ethics (she was found guilty of abuse of power in the Troopergate scandal by a Republican dominated committee). She’s been a complete fraud from the beginning and even Alaskans have taken notice as her approval rating has plummeted 30 points in the past few months. But now the freakshow has gotten even better
By now, everyone has learned that Barack Obama studied under Mr. Miyagi and that he brutally murdered Dr. Andre Delambre (no comment as of yet from Vincent Price’s corpse). God damn, what they say about Chicago politicians being brutal ain’t no lie. Considering the fact that Colbert has been having a nightly segment dedicated to parodying the incident entitled “Murder in the White House” (Jeff Goldblum was on the other night to vomit and then suck up his 2 cents) there’s not much more I can add comedy wise to the situation. However, the best thing about Ninjabama’s actions was PETA getting up in arms about it.
Fine by me. I wish I was paid to beat off. I should have stuck with wrestling. And maybe being blessed with more hardbody genes would have been ok too. But I do ok on my own. Read all about it…
via 2 Girls, 1 Queen (San Francisco of course)
I may technically live in the city of Los Angeles but OFFICIALLY I am a citizen of West Hollywood, CA which has been it’s own entity since 1984. I think the city planners could forsee that LA was set for collapse or realized eventually Sarah Palin would become president and knew us freaks and wierdos would be herded into internment camps for our deviant lifestyles and decided that we should just have our own city so it would be easier to decide where to put the razor-wire fences. Honestly, I can’t see myself living anywhere else or being stuck with a better group of freaks.
Sarah Palin is gold for Democrats. Strike that…she’s platinum. She is the absolute most valuable asset the Democrats have against Republicans. She’s worth far more to us than Rush or Dick or Steele or Newt. In fact, the only Republican on earth who is worth more is George Bush, but he’s apparently gone into witness protection since the election. Every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth, either 
