Fine by me. I wish I was paid to beat off. I should have stuck with wrestling. And maybe being blessed with more hardbody genes would have been ok too. But I do ok on my own. Read all about it…
via 2 Girls, 1 Queen (San Francisco of course)

Here is part of the writeup from Lindsay Stidham at Tubefilter:

Every now and then something comes along on the web, that’s really exciting. It’s got all the right elements to go viral — an interesting subculture: check; hot chicks: check; and really, really funny: check. I’m gonna go ahead and say it, I’m darn excited about wieners. That’s right, wieners. Well, not just wieners, but a new web series from 60Frames focusing on the world of competitive eating.

and also:

…I’d say The Quest for the Golden Hot Dog has all the right elements — hot chicks, wiener eaters, and a veritable who’s who of the LA-indie comedy scene. The world of competitive eating also seems so ripe for parody-fodder it’s hard to believe Will Ferrell and Adam McKay haven’t already capitalized on the idea.

I’m an extra in this. You can actually see me in the stillframe on YouTube right in front of you…I won’t say where. I’m not the black guy in the middle, but those ARE my mirrored aviators he is wearing.

Nate Silver is a statistician who regularly runs numbers (not for the mob) in Major League Baseball to predict who will win games/the pennant/the world series. He has applied the same knack for knumbers (tehe) to the Presidential Race on his website FiveThirtyEight.com and thankfully. Brother Obama is gonna kick the shit out of McCancer with a pretty hawt margin. As of today he’s predicting 347.6 electoral votes for Obama (granola eating, flag burning, freedom hating blue states) to McCancer’s 190.4 in all of those shitty backward-ass states where people go to snakecharmer shaker churches and marry kin. He figures a 90.7% probablility of this glorious outcome.

Interestingly enough, because our home state of Nebraska has a state government that does shit it’s own way (Unicameral Motherfucker!), we’ve broken up our electoral votes so that theoretically the whole state’s electoral votes don’t have to just go to ONE candidate. There is a high probability that he won’t win, but Barack Obama is within 6 – 10% of McDouche in the Omaha and Lincoln based districts (the only inhabitable parts of the state). The remaining Western Nebraska district on the other hand is a cesspool of uneducated bible thumpers. Proving again that the republican candidate is very popular in places where nothing happens but sheep rape.

But you still have to vote! We haven’t officially won this thing yet, peoples! So vote the shit out of that shit on November 4th, yo!

Take 7 minutes out of your day and watch this adorable shit.

There’s no pride in the world like watching your 4-year old drop in like a big boy. That’s it-my kids are gonna have a guitar in one hand and a skateboard in the other. Straight outta the womb. Screw that. They can use my uterus as a half pipe.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what kind of parent I might be. Kinda weird, but my brother Jason just had his 4th, and my brother T.C. is about to have his 1st, so yeah, it’s on my mind a little more than usual. But that’s all, I have no clock ticking in my head or my fallopian tubes or anything. For a long time, I didn’t think I wanted kids. Now I think I only do in that vain “I wanna see a little version of myself running around someday” type of way.

I myself was kinda force-fed a lot of extracurricular activities starting in grade school. It could be pretty awful at times, but I also think I’m kinda better off for it. So I don’t know what kind of parent I’d be. Mine did a pretty good job, but then again, they had like 8 chances to practice getting it right before they got around to me. I’m actually pretty lucky that I have my parents to use as an example, a lot of people I know have at least one parent who are an example of how NOT to parent.

So here’s what I want in life:

-I want people to have to complete and pass an IQ test before being allowed to breed. (That kid is BACK on the escalator!)

-I want to be the ‘cool mom’, the one that all the neighborhood kids like and treat more like a friend than a parent, the one that some of the other parents are maybe a little freaked out by.

-I don’t, don’t DON’T wanna fuck my kid up.

My kids are screwed.

I watched the Game in Portland. (I know it was on Jan 27th last year, but you know what i’m saying)

I very much love and miss my Portland friends.