Les Paul is my absolute hero. If you go to my myspace, you’ll see his photo in my “Who i’d like to meet:” section. (Right next to Cyndi Lauper, Rick Nielsen from Cheap Trick and Prince). That is a very exclusive club i’d say. He is still alive today and at 92 I hear tell that he still plays a regular Monday night show in New York City somewhere. My goal for the year is to visit New York because believe it or not, I’ve never been! How is that possible? I probably know just as much about New York as I do Los Angeles and I’ve lived here a full year already! So when I go, if he’s playing, I have to meet Les Paul!
What is he responsible for? You might be saying to yourself. (Don’t lie, I know you are) Well firstly, without Mr. Polsfuss we wouldn’t have multitrack recording. Is that important, you say? Oh, naive one. He started out using muiltiple records to multiply the sound and moved on to invent the first muiltitrack Reel-to-Reel tape recorder. (Which was pretty much the industry standard until recently when computers caught up) See, this is pretty important when you consider how every album has been recorded since the 1940s is because of him. There would be no overdubs, no artists harmonizing with themselves, no multiple takes to get the record “perfect”. And like how many guitarists lately have you seen use loop pedals to layer their sound and play multiple parts live? Think about how empty those Beatle records would be if there wasn’t all of that crazy shit going on through “Tomorrow Never Knows”?! He also invented Reverb. (which means no Surf or Rockabilly Sound.)
Yeah duh, I almost forgot to mention that he also invented the solid body electric guitar. The sexiest thing in the world, right? The man is a fucking wizard. He’s like Gandalf of the Guitar. His name is on his guitar and yours (if you’re cool); and it is pretty much the most best guitar ever. (Sorry Strat players, its not even close. Tele players, you’re not too far off.) All of that and he was a high school dropout.
NOW BEHOLD HIS WIZARDRY, AND WORSHIP BEFORE THE DARK LORDS MULTI-TRACK ALCHEMY:
Seagulls circle my Hollywood apartment,
Their errant feathers fall as a turquoise screen dries on my balcony.
I stare at the records on the wall and lengthen the nails behind them,
as if it will help when the 7.2 rolls across the valley and into the 101.
The cross falls on Barham, tourists beware.
as the locals barely look up from their Lattes,
The transplants stand in the doorways.
I always wished I had a twin (male or female). My first name is actually derived from the Aramaic word for “Twin” (I’ll let you google that yourself). You can call me weird, label me a pervert if you must (you were going to anyway). But there is something twisted, yet endearing (and kinda hot) about this story:
LONDON -Twins who were separated at birth got married without realizing they were brother and sister… They were never told that they were twins. They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation.
How weird would it be to meet someone with whom you have EVERYTHING in common? Seriously Everything. Unless you were told that you were twins I would have to assume that it would seem like ANY love story. And how weird should a story like this actually be today? Soon enough having two sexes will be obsolete, anyway. Genetically, I TOTALLY AGREE THAT ITS WRONG! I took college Sociology (twice I think?) and understand the ideas about genetic diversity and all of that. But then again I don’t believe that ANYBODY should really be breeding right now.
But really, whatever, unless they breed… to each their own.
In this case, literally.
Lesbians figured it out. Boldly they asked the question, “Do we really need men?” and they dove in head-first to find the loophole. Now it seems their all-girl utopia might also finally be a reality.
British Scientists have figured out a way to make SPERM FROM BONE MARROW! via The Daily Mail:
…According to New Scientist magazine, the scientists want to take stem cells from a woman donor’s bone marrow and transform them into sperm through the use of special chemicals and vitamins.
So it seems that we have two years before they have this perfected. Guys, get it while you can.
On the upside, this whole process is a big middle finger to critics of stem cell research (a.k.a. loony religious fucks). With this method, stem cells could be taken from saaaay a terminal cancer patient to impregnate a woman. Wheres your sanctity of human life now?
