Last weekend in Los Angeles was VH1’s Rock Honors Weekend celebrating The Who and you could absolutely not escape the promo for this event. 2 of the club events I attended under the umbrella of this occasion were Sunday’s Toms Shoes Benefit @ the Hotel Cafe and Monday’s Steel Panther show at the Key Club. Reviews Below, but first… The WINNER of the AvantTrash/Filter Magazine/VH1 Rock Honors “WHO AM I?” CONTEST!

The Questions: and answers.
1. I can’t hear, I can’t talk, I can’t see. Who am I? “Pinball Wizard” or “Tommy, Can You Hear Me” Were both acceptable answers.

2. No one knows what it’s like to be me. I’m sad. Maybe even bad. Who am I? “Behind Blue Eyes” was the correct answer but a couple people answered Brick or Jumbo, which was a more amazing answer. So I decided to reward the winner for ignoring the rules (I was looking for the song title, not the narrator) and giving the more nerd-tastic answer.

3. I’m not old, I live on the Isle of Man. Kids can’t hurt me but they try, try, try. They ride on my head with furry donkeys. They can’t prevent me from being what I am. Who am I? “Happy Jack”…of course.

The winner of The Who prize pack was David Basile of Valley Springs, NY who says,
“I really enjoy your site, good content, your contests are the best!”

So congrats David! Cheers!

——–

Sunday, July 13th, The Hotel Cafe’s Toms Shoes Benefit, Hollywood, CA

Sunday’s show was nearly a who’s-who (pun accidentally intended) of Hotel Cafe Singer/Songwriter regulars, headlined by the always amazing elder statesman Butch Walker (long ago of The Marvelous 3). Also playing sets were Greg Laswell (who had an album release show the night previous) and Cary Brothers (not siblings, one guy). Honestly I felt a bit aglazed (fuck you spellcheck i made the word up) Sunday and didn’t show up until the last 6 (of 14) performers took the stage. The cause was noble enough: Toms Shoes has a philosophy where for every pair of their shoes they sell, they donate a pair to needy foreign children. Unfortunately the show didn’t have much to stand on. Too much sausage and not enough talented ladies at the end of the night. Butch Walker’s set was full of “new” and “in progress” songs bound for their inevitable obscurity. Walker’s music is too amazing for public consumption (thankfully?), leading many to call him “The best musician you’ve never heard of”. I put “quoteys” around “new” because although they haven’t been released yet (album delayed) I’ve heard some of these songs nearly half a dozen times live (see “Atlanta”). But a good thing about Butch Walker is the way he lets the fans hear his songs evolve between live show and recording. Somehow “Racecars and Goth Rock” from 2004’s Letters sounded better in it’s acoustic “California Gridlock” bootleg form. This trial by fire of sorts has also made some of Butch’s compositions some of the best category-free Rock and Roll of the last 10 years. As per his 1 downer song per album trend I jokingly noted that there would probably be a new song about someone dying and sure enough he sprung one into his set titled something along the lines of “I drove by your house, I saw his car, I thought of you”. I give Butch’s show-and-tell performance a 7/10. It would be unfair to judge the rest, I wasn’t really paying attention.

I didn’t hear any WHO covers that evening.

Monday, July 14th, Steel Panther @ The Key Club, West Hollywood, CA

Big Hair, Spandex, Synchronized Guitar Coreography, Hair Solos, Simulated Oral Sex and Tits. If you’ve never seen the Steel Panther (formerly Metal Shop Metal Skool) show @ the Key Club, then you must truly hate Hair Metal and all things Sunset Strip. Either that or it has somehow remained under your radar despite its continued success. A packed house, every monday? But why? Because it’s hilarious, brilliant, crude, disgusting and shamefully nostalgic. What it boils down to are 4 Hair Metal maestros with Studio Musician cred, playing covers with amazing accuracy and more importantly…enthusiasm. Some Mondays are better than others, but this one was pretty good. I’ve seen better nights and I’ve seen worse. And almost always that has to do with how many of the regular special guests they have joining them during their set. Usually it will be a figure from the glorious 80’s hayday, a slumming pop icon, or in this instance another piece of 80s nostalgia… William Zabka. You know perhaps know him best as “Sweep the leg, Johnny” from The Karate Kid. (or if you are really cool from “Just One of the Guys” or “European Vacation”.) “Billy” as he was addressed by the band, played guitar on a cover of Van Halen’s “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love” and actually did a pretty good job. Unfortunately David Cassidy’s older brother was also in the house and played drums on the track…causing its calamitous ending to die in a whimper.

Adding to the festivities was a bevy of what looked like Jager shots delivered to the birthday boy, “53 year old bassist” Lexxi Foxxx. If you go, I suggest you get a birds-eye view of the debauchery from the balcony. You will also get an eye full of L.A.’s biggest douches rubbing metal flake Christian Audiger’d shoulders with semi-famous musicians and personalites of L.A.’s Past and Present (but mostly past). Steel Panther doesn’t take the stage until 12:15 so I suggest you head down to the famous Rainbow Bar and Grill for a bite (great food) and few pre-party drinks (cheaper than the Key Club). 2nd to the food and drink is the amazing people-watching; which is so beautiful it is hard to put into words …there will be fringe, feathered and dyed bangs, spandex and cellulite and probably a few guys who have played Jason or Michael Myers (or could if they removed the masks).

The only Who cover performed was “My Generation” with the lyrics replaced with rhymes about well… groupies mostly. There were masks of Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend circulating the crowd, Half of a Daltry made its way to Michael Starr for the final set of rhymes before the finale. Although sometimes the show borders on the bad side of “Girls Gone Wild”… it is just one of those L.A. things that you have to see. 8.3/10

On July 2nd of this year, occasional member of Queens of the Stone Age, Natasha Shneider, succumbed to cancer leaving behind a elegant legacy and some unfortunate financial obligations.

In her honor, QOTSA will be holding a concert at the Music Box @ the Fonda on Saturday, August 16th. Joining them will be an army of Rock and Roll guests including PJ Harvey, Jack Black + Kyle Gass (not billed as Tenacious D), Matt Cameron (Soundgarden), Brody Dalle (The Distillers), Jesse “The Devil” Hughes (Eagles of Death Metal), Billy F. Gibbons (lead beard player from ZZ Top), Chris Goss (QOTSA Producer), and Alain Johannes (Eleven). Natasha’s band, Eleven, included members of what would become the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Tickets are $100 with proceeds going to offset Natasha Schneiders remaining medical and burial costs. Donations are also being accepted through http://www.natashashneider.org.

RECAP:
Queens Of The Stone Age w/Guests
The Music Box @ Fonda - 6126 Hollywood Blvd. - Hollywood, CA
All Ages Show - $100

Full Frontal Male Nudity is not a staple of most performances I’ve seen at the UCB Theatre, but the exception seems to be Midnight on every 3rd Saturday of the Month when the Dirtiest Sketch in L.A. Contest tries to live up to it’s name. The concept is simple: 2 great hosts, 3 “celebrity” judges and a half dozen or so teams put on a sketch show aimed at the shock and disgust of the audience. Winner take all…er, $3.07.

Naturally in the assumed mecca of depravity that is Hollywood you expect nothing less than entertainment suited for the Sadist ring of Dante’s Inferno, thankfully most performances come pretty close to meeting that expectation.

Of course the mind can paint the dirtiest pictures of what you would hope to see but perhaps that level is more suited for Tijuana than California. Liberal as it is here, there always seem to be limits. Either that or just the realization that we live in a city that is all talk. But I digress, because i don’t expect to see a donkey show in this setting (although i was told that one performance involved intercourse with a pig’s head), i do expect that there will be a few select brave individuals who would break right through the limits of decency. Which thankfully they always do.

And although sometimes the humor can go for the lowest common denominator…in a bad way; the writing can also be brilliant and full of a truth so profane that it will shake you down the innocent person that still lives inside of you. Most of the world just isn’t ready for that. So whether you are there to see slapstick and simulated bodily fluids (literally any and all of them) or a brilliant monologue about fucking the life out of a still beating heart (srsly), Dirtiest Sketch is not to be missed. You sick motherfucker.

The next Dirtiest Sketch in L.A. is Saturday July 19th at Midnight. Click here to make ONLINE reservations (which you’ll need).

UCB THEATRE
5919 Franklin Ave
Hollywood CA
(across from the ChiMo headquarters)
(323) 908-8702

Waiting for the #72 bus after work today, an ad at the bus stop caught my eye. It was an advertisement for Tru:Blood, a “synthetic blood nourishment beverage”. I was taken aback that there might actually be an alcoholic beverage that catered to freaks like me who have an obsession with interest in vampires. With a tagline like “friends don’t let friends drink friends”, I had to get a closer look. Upon further inspection, I saw that the ad was actually part of a marketing campaign for the new HBO show, True Blood.

Alan Ball, “Six Feet Under” creator, returns to HBO with True Blood, a series based on the Southern Vampire Mysteries books by Charlaine Harris. The show details the fictional co-existence of vampires and humans in a small Louisiana town after Japanese-made synthetic blood – “TruBlood” – becomes available for purchase. Anna Paquin stars as Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress at a diner who falls in love with one of the vampires, Bill Compton, who is played by Stephen Moyer-yeah, I don’t know who that is either. But hey-check out this giant piece of man. He plays Liam. Not that I know who that is, but apparently he’s a tattooed, sex-addicted vampire, so consider me interested.

The show’s premiere on September 7th has been prefaced with a viral marketing campaign, based at BloodCopy.com. This has included setting up multiple websites, encoding web addresses into unmarked envelopes mailed to high profile blog writers (I’ll assume my unmarked envelope got lost in the mail), a wikipedia entry collating info, and even a MySpace account (username: “Blood”) complete with video postings.

Author Harris admits that her vampire is a metaphor for minorities, and how they are perceived in society. In the show, vampires have decided to ‘come out of the coffin’ (their terminology, not mine), upon the advent of TruBlood. This is where the show seems be different from other vampire shows and movies-the focus is not on becoming a vampire, but the integration of vampires into everyday society, and the distrust and racism (mortalism?) that inevitably follows.

So…I’m pretty sure the marketing campaign is going to end up being more interesting than the actual show. Although I did learn a new word researching the show: Fangbangers–women who sleep with vampires. Loves it!

Eh, I’ll still watch it, I’m sure. But if it’s super lame, I’m gonna be pissed that it got picked up, and a second season of Moonlight didn’t.

[intr0vert’s Additional images: L.A. - click to enlarge]

Because so many summer movies suck, I’ve been watching them for free on watch-movies.net. I am so glad I didn’t fork over real monies to see turd sandwiches like Zohan, The Love Guru and the Happening… all of which I watched today.

Midway through Zohan I noticed an actor playing a redneck and said to myself, “Is that Dave Fucking Matthews?” I actually said this aloud because I haven’t talked to a real human being in a couple days and I’m a little crazy. But then I checked his IMDB and noticed that he has 2 more upcoming acting gigs. Are there no more actors? I see out of work douchebags all the time here, surely they could use a job.

One of those films is in pre-production right now called The Other Side and among the co-stars of what could be an amazing rock-opera is Maynard James Keenan (of Tool, listed with 6 roles), Alanis Morissette (mentioned on this site last week), Jason Lee, Eddie Izzard and Woody Harrelson. And a couple more douchey scientologists not worth mentioning. Everyone has weird character names that sound like they came out of Harmony Korine films so hopefully next year when it comes out I’ll have something that I can actually see in a theatre. Well I guess I don’t mind if they get rid of these “superstars”. Their movies are shit.

But please, don’t go making films based on YouTube clips just yet.

I don’t know what they are actually called. Hipster Holster is just the first name I came up with, or Guido Gizmo Gunbelt for the fans of alliteration. It set me back a bit one night following a short punk down Hollywood Blvd into Tiny’s K.O. and seeing black holster straps over his white sleeve-removed button up; until I saw that the holsters were not for a .38 snubnose but rather for a Sidekick and a Camera.

For all practical purposes they make total sense. Between my Razr and Casio Exilim I have 2 of the thinnest pieces of tech out there and I still feel bogged down by technology. I’m on the fence about bringing a small messenger bag with me when I go out. And its hard enough to get laid without having to carry around a man-purse. Even if I got an iPhone (which could happen) that still wouldnt be enough of a camera to replace what I carry now so I’d still be hauling the same amount of junk around. Why not free up my pockets with a holstervso I can get some tighter jeans? (j/k…sorta)

So are these Hostlers so lame they are hip, so lame they are lame (because really I think they are lame), or are they so functional they are ironically hip? I think this design is the offspring of a mobster and a tourist. Because the first thing it reminded me of what a fanny pack.

Drop us a comment and let us know…HOT OR NOT?

In honor of the recent release of Priscilla Ahn’s debut album A Good Day and her recent appearance on Jay Leno. Here is an Email Interview I did with Ms.Ahn a couple weeks ago:

AvantTrash: When i’d seen you last year at a school fundraiser in the back of a store; your set painted a lovely picture of Pennsylvania. How would you describe your upbringing?
Priscilla Ahn: In general, it was pretty quiet. My parents were strict as I got older, so I didn’t go out much and “party”. I spent most of my time at school. I was involved in sports and music and drama, which took up most of my time. When I got home I studied. The older I got, the more I fought with my parents, so I tried to spend most of my time in my bedroom, reading, playing guitar….

AT: What made you pick up the guitar or start writing songs?
PA: My Dad always urged me to do it. But I never had any real interest in it until 9th grade, when a guy I liked played the guitar really well, like James Taylor style. I thought it was the coolest thing, and dug out my mom’s old guitar she had brought with her from S. Korea.

AT: Did you tour? Did you do the coffee house circuit? Any busking or singing for your dinner?
PA: When I first started out I did a lot of coffee houses. I also tried to get gigs anywhere I could. A lot of those places were restaurants and bars. I’d play for like, 3 hours, and make $60. I never liked to “busk”. I was never in a position where i had to, so i figured why should i? it’s exhausting work. But when my family and I were on vacation at the beach, my dad made me sing for change on the boardwalk. I was into the first night, but then…..well, like i said….it’s exhausting. You’re constantly giving energy to a majority of people who didn’t care, and your only real validation that people like you, is their loose change. Although, i have to say, I didn’t do too bad.

AT: And the trip out to L.A.? What prompted it and how was your trip out here?
PA: My first trip out here was with 2 other musicians. Our goal was to write songs on the road. We never wrote anything, but the traveling was unforgettable. And the moment we drove into L.A. I knew it was a place I wanted to be. So….one month later I packed up my car and drove out. It took me 5 days. It was truly an adventure. I was 19, traveling alone across the country, staying in hotels by myself for the first time, blasting Led Zeppelin in my Saturn. It was cool.

AT: I heard you waitressed… where was it and how long did that last?
PA: I waitressed at a restaurant called Cheebo. I was there for a year.

AT: How did you get hooked up with Joey Waronaker?
PA: My manager hooked me up with him. We had coffee and I really liked his personality, and we became friends from there.

AT: How was the Hotel Cafe tour? Who do you think is going to be the next big thing from that group?
PA: The tour was a lot of fun. All good people, singing together, traveling together. It was pretty cool. I have no idea who’s gonna “blow up” next. I’m never really good at guessing those things, cuz the ones you would think are the least likely to, are playing in the grocery store the next day. I can say, though, that I listen to Buddy’s album ALL the time. He gave me an advance copy of it about a year ago (lucky me!) and i think i’ve worn it out.

AT: With all the craziness in the music business, where do you see music going?
PA: Who knows? It seems like it’s going into the hands of whoever wants it, really. Music will always be one of the most popular forms of art and entertainment. It’s just, how people hear it, and how people choose it, that’s changing. I love that music is available wherever you are, and that I can record a song on my laptop and post it to a bunch of people on myspace in a matter of a few hours, or less. Things are just gonna get faster and more efficient…..and smaller probably.

AT: Thanks for your time.
PA: no prob!

—–
How Lovely. So a couple days ago I asked for people to send me emails telling me why they should get Priscilla’s CD and that I’d give them to the best 2 answers. Well the winners were Tonya Howell from Grand Island, NE and Mrs. Beth Miller from Lebabon, PA
Mrs. Miller Wrote:

Priscilla Hartranft Ahn is from Bernville, PA but also descends from Korea.
I was her high school counselor at Tulpehocken High School where she was encouraged to follow her heart and not the expectations of others.
She resisted those enormous conformity pressures and look what has flourished!
I am a proud mama. We are a Tulpehocken Proud village.
That is why I want to win the CD.
Otherwise, I will have to call her mother and pay for one!
(^_*)
Mrs. Beth Miller, retired

Wow! My guidance counselors weren’t that helpful!
Tonya Howell wrote:

Why I should get the CD? Because her song “Rain” has gotten me through these massive amounts rainy days, flooded basements and sewer back-ups on the island that is Grand. I included it on my mix: http://www.mixwit.com/tonya_howell/rain-more-rain-even-more-rain

Yeah that weather stuff is nasty. We don’t have that stuff in L.A. anymore. Congrats to the winners and stay tuned for more contests and a LOT more live reviews!

My first exposure to Priscilla Ahn was through sheer coincidence. Early Last year I was working for a band who happened to be playing a little benefit show in an exotic home interiors store in Eagle Rock. The opener was the featherweight Phoebe Cates (or yes, Winnie Cooper) stand-in Ms.Ahn. With her guitar and handful of toys and gadgets she made the space her own little world. Her songs transported me into to a place that you’d think only she’d been. But what really slayed me was the delicate orchestra coming off of one small person. With the aide of a Boss loop station pedal she made enough music to fill 3 coffee houses. So of course I’d wondered what it would sound like if she actually had a full band behind her.

Flash forward a year to the night of the release of her debut album A Good Day, where Priscilla and her parlor full of band members took the stage of the Hotel Café. The house was packed with a surprisingly high contingency of asian fans (role model?) and some buzz seeking industry and media reps. I joined a photo pit of about 7 packed into the small corner off stage left and prepared to be destroyed with a feather.

Priscillas stage persona is a tiny ball of artisitic elation, at once nervous and as comfortable as if she were singing to herself…which she eventually did (in loops). The room was stuffy but a cool breeze flowed from the opening numbers of Priscillas set with “Wallflowers” and the Dylan/Lennon Harmonica infused “I don’t think so”. She beamed as she announced the albums release and proclaimed that she was going to “play the whole damn thing”. Which she nearly did… minus the albums’ title track. Her co-penned song “Astronaut” stuck out of the middle of her set just as it does on the album with a storytellers jumble of The Ditty Bops meets “Mr. Kite”.

Even the smallest band would feel crowded on the Hotel Café’s Stage, but veterans such as bandleader/producer/mentor Joey Waronker played to perfection and drove songs like “Red Cape” beyond what the very capable Ahn could do solo. As I was debating the merits of her work with a band and solo Ahn broke out her ukulele for “Find My Way Back Home” and proved how absolutely powerful she could be with just 4 strings and no accompaniment.

But what makes a Priscilla Ahn show is the personality transferred through her storytelling. Debatably the most beautiful song in her cadre is “Lullaby” which comes with a wonderful story about small town escapism and unqualified local policemen; sealed with her Joni Mitchell to Delores O’Riordan vocal outro. As the set was winding down she also shared her story of Willie Nelson’s reaction to her cover of “Opportunity to Cry” before launching into the song with folk swing.

The evening was capped with her “Dream” of a new single which builds to a peak with a looped armada of perfectly harmonized siren calls from Ahn. The added layers of Upright Bass, Drums, Keys, Electric Guitar and Two Cellos pushed this showstopper to the brink of spiritual enlightenment.

The assumed Encore and closer was the kazoo soloed “The Boob Song”, an older fixture of her set with more great storytelling and playful teenage introspection. A fun close to a great set, Priscilla Ahn is full of promise and potential. She radiates a joy in creation and performance that you won’t see too often in bitter, navelgazing hipsters on dark stages in Silverlake. Although my shirt was sticking to my back and the Hotel Café had to be its typical high 80s climate, I felt refreshed by this show as if i’d just walked through the rain.

9.4/10

I saw Priscilla Ahn at the Hotel Cafe in Hollywood for her CD Release Show tonight. She is still amazing! I will be posting a glowing review and an interview tonight. In case you want a little taste of Priscilla Ahn then set your Chin seeking TiVo tonight (Wed) and catch her performing her single “Dream” to perfection on the Tonight Show.

To celebrate her amazing CD Release, Filter Magazine has hooked me up with 2 copies of A Good Day to give away to 2 lucky AvantTrash readers. All you have to do to get one is to email me at contest[at]avanttrash.com and tell me where Ms.Ahn is from and why you want the record. HINT I’ll pick the 2 best.

Massive amounts of reviews coming soon, its been a busy week.

I cut the wheat from the chaff for this most recent contest by making it extra hard to anyone who hadn’t field tripped to see Shuttlecocks, Taken in a Royals Game or Rode the Orient Express (RIP) at Worlds of Fun.

The Answers were:
1. Shuttlecocks by Claes Oldenberg at the Nelson-Atkins
2. Truman Sports Complex (or Arrowhead/Kauffman Stadiums)
3. nobodies favorite American Idol winner David Cook
4. Harry S. Truman (not Roosevelt, not Eisenhauer)
BONUS: Cody Critchloe from KC’s mindblowing art punk disaster of ecstacy known as SSION.

The Winner of the Grand Prize of the Dakine Medic Messenger Bag and the Republic Tigers Keep Color CD was Rachel Farha from Mission, KS who says:

“WOW! I never win anything. Makes my morning a little better after my car was smoking and had to be taken to the shop… First saw Ssion opening for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Pretty freakin’ awesome. Thanks AvantTrash for giving the Republic Tigers the props they deserve. You guys rule.”

The First Prize winner of the Autographed Keep Color CD and Republic Tigers t-shirt was Michelle Hudak from Cleveland, OH! who says:

“Thanks so much, the contest was fun! I like a little brain-work with my reading. Your site is great…one of my bookmarked favs! Keep up the excellent work.”

It was good to hear from some Republic Tigers/Ssion fans who were proud of their hometown heroes.

During the course of the contest there were a few messages about how much people loved American Idol and hated David Cook along with some excellent comments from KC residents in close contact with AC/DC (which means goes both ways) with some INTERESTING stories about him. Some dropped the word “poser” and others preferred “douche”. I myself see about 20 minutes of American Idol per season and mostly just catch the traffic as I am a block from the Kodak. But i’ll tell you one thing… honky dreadlocks are a crime.

Thanks to everyone who entered and keep checking back for more contests from AvantTrash!

A few months back I predicted the winners of 2008. Now LAist is drinking my Kool-Aid with a story about Hotel Cafe records’ first release Jim Bianco. You can go read whatever they wrote or just take my word for it 2 months ago. BTW the record jacket is sub-par and you can call me when you want some pro-class work done.

They mention jumbo’s clown room in the interview which AliUptown and I recently visited and its really not much to boast about. But we’ll forgive a couple of girls because we are pretty sure they are preschool teachers during the daytime.

I haven’t done a food post in a while. So after seeing Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s in the far away land of Echo Park tonight (Thanks for the ride back Shawn, Ollie and Brad) I made it back to Hollywood to catch a rare acoustic performance by The Used. And after a drinking a couple PBR’s at a nearby party to forget that last event I stopped by a hotdog purveyor just north of cherokee (or some shit) to be sure to try every shitty hot dog vendor in Hollywood. I tried arab Jay’s Hot Dog tonight and they don’t even come close to the little latino ladies’ wieners. And it took forever! So now you know. Or just go to Pink’s. At 3am its not that long of a line as the bar rush will have died down.

Or just drink a glass of water and go the fuck to bed like you probably should.

3 Reviews, Photos and a Contest coming in the next couple days.

Geez yo, I haven’t posted here in forev! Not since intr0vert’s/my joint postings (and by joint I mean me throwing in my two cents while napping on the couch as he typed) during my visit to Hollywood. Speaking of, I thought maybe some of yous (anyone?) would be interested to know about my goings on in the city of angels and dirtbags.

intr0vert was an excellent tour guide and host, my experience wouldn’t have been half as enriched if he hadn’t been my guide. I must admit, when he made the trip to Chicago for my birthday, I probably wasn’t the best tour guide-I’d only been there 7 months and didn’t have my tour guide/public transportation chops up to par yet. (I’ll do better next time, I promise!)

Let me share with you a few misguided misconceptions I had about L.A.:

-You can’t smoke anywhere in L.A.

Mostly I got this idea from Sex & the City, when Carrie goes to L.A. to meet with a production company , and is prevented from smoking wherever she goes, even on the outside deck of her hotel room. (”I have an addiction sir!”) I guess I also had this impression because of the whole Hollywood health/physical appearance obsession that I read about in the news on Perez all the time. I was surprised that a few places we went to had smoking rooms, some were not even open air. Chicago is not down with that shit. You can’t even smoke in outdoor seating areas here. Anywho-doesn’t really affect me, just an observation.

-Nobody walks in L.A.

Again, another thing I’ve heard through the grapevine of pop culture media. I was assuming that since everyone drives in L.A., that nobody walks. Not so, my friends. Oh, we drove almost everywhere…but then we parked 10 blocks away. Parking in L.A. is just as bad as most parts of Chicago. Any parking you find here is either permit parking only or will cost you $50. Not a big deal, I don’t ever wanna be the girl that bitches about how far away the car is, but it did limit my cute shoe options. You see, its a delicate ratio. Typically as the cuteness of the shoe goes up, its comfort level goes down.

On a side note: I also thought that there was no worthwhile public transportation there. I met an actual human being that took a bus to work everyday. Even intr0vert was considering trying the train out as a daily commute. And my experiences on the subway were fairly pleasant. Although, I’m not sure the idea of an underground train on a fault line sits well with me. I’m just sayin.

-Everyone in L.A. is beautiful and glamorous (thanks to Fergie, I can spell that word now).

Oh, there were plenty of beautiful people there. But there were a lot of really unspecial people there, too. The air in Hollywood was thick with ego, which didn’t surprise me so much. What surprised me was that I was expecting the clothes to make the man a little more. Actually, the woman. The chicks there seemed to fall into two categories: The strapless tube dress complete with hooker shoes (do hookers call them ‘work shoes’?) and makeup applied with a paintball gun, or cutesy, hipster chicks. I’m typically the type of girl that prefers to be overdressed, rather than under dressed. And don’t get me wrong, I wear a lot of makeup. A drag queenish amount. On a daily basis.

So…famous people. I was promised by intr0vert at least three sightings. The first was only half a sighting, as it was just Jael from America’s Next Top Model a couple seasons ago. She was a hot tranny mess on Hollywood, trashy outfit, crazy pink furry hat, and I’m sure was operating on one or more psychiatric drugs. We also saw Janeane Garafalo walking in Studio City and Vincent Kartheiser (from Angel-I’m a vampire nerd, remember?) at the Magic Castle. Some others too, I can’t remember. Some dude from a teen movie bummed me a smoke. Good shit, huh?

I will have to make this a to-be-continued post. Even though it was like two weeks ago. Lots happened, and I’m sure people are riveted by my recounts of my vacation. Long story short (too late!), Hollywood did not disappoint. More soon, I promise.

2 winners have been drawn from the 27 correct entries for the Elvis Costello Momofuku contest!

The grand prize winner of the Elvis Costello Vinyl LP is Jim Schaefer of Kannapolis, NC who says, “Wooooo…hooooooo.Thanks so much intr0vert! Avanttrash always rocks, always did, and always will! Thanks again.”
The winner of the Elvis Costello CD is Brenda Helgeson from Cotton Grove, OR who was drawn first but opted for the CD. She says, “omg! i love this win, i’m such a huge fan. thank you very much.”

Thanks to everyone who entered!
The Answers were: 1. Costello, 2. Costello, 3. Presley, 4. Costello.
The Answers to the Bonus Dealbreaker Questions were: Elvis Costello interrupted “Less Than Zero” on SNL to play “Radio, Radio” and went on to Interrupt the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” to play “Radio, Radio” with the boys as his backing band. Both winners got this right!

A couple people were kinda clueless and didn’t recognize #1 and 4 as Mr. Costello. I was looking for this seriously haggard photo of him playing in a gold bedazzled baseball cap, visibly overweight and bearded in the late-80s/early-90s from SNL or Letterman.

We will have another contest starting up this week so keep checking back and keep the comments coming! I’m super jealous to everyone who has tickets to the Police/Elvis Costello show at the Hollywood Bowl just a couple blocks away next week. If you have an extra let me know and I’ll let you park in my space!

Because I live where I live, sometimes I randomly catch some awesome events. Tonight for example at the Chinese Theatre I saw a shot-for-shot remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark done over 7 years in the mid-80’s by a couple of kids in Mississippi (max age 17ish). Presented by Eli Roth (as in, he was there and talking at length about this film’s journey) Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation was kitsch gold. I wished that all of the Dead Lantern/Grand Horror crew was there to see this DIY masterpiece. It probably won’t ever make it to DVD because of the obvious copyright restrictions but it has been making the indie-theatre circuit for 5 years with the blessing of Mr. Roth who hooked the filmmakers up with a renewed career in film and even a meeting with Stephen Speilberg himself.

Spinning from this amazing backstory is a Daniel Clowes (Ghost World) screenplay and Paramount project in the works based on the kids who made it (now in their late 30s).

When I get to catch things like this, it’s pretty fucking rad to live here.

This is a response commented on DeadLantern.com in regards to the parts of “David’s Situation” that we’d missed:

I agree the first scene was a little slow, but you should have stuck around to give an accurate review. Although, in your defense, I’m not sure I would have stayed in an adjascent room either. We got in, but arrived at 5pm to make sure we made it in for the 7pm start. It was absolutely packed and for those of us that got in we were not disappointed.

Some of what you missed: John Ennis and Zach Galifianakis in a fucking hilarious parody of “To Catch a Predator” (BJ did a great job as Chris Hanson). A second stand up set by David even better than the first. A “round table” discussion with the cast and Andy Dick who appeared in a mock video relating to the story of the episode. The mock video may have been the highlight of a great night.

Janeane Garafalo was not in the show, but was on the set with a long list of great comedy minds (Patton Oswalt, Jerry Minor, Michael Blieden, Brian Posehn were among those I saw).

Based on the reaction of the audience I can’t imagine this show will not see more episodes. Bob and David delivered as I had hoped. It was great to see them together again. Don’t judge the show by the first scene. It is not at all indicative of the show. Lump of coal? Hardly. A diamond that could use a little polishing, but a diamond none the less. If you’re a fan of Bob and David you will be a fan of David’s Situation. Anyone else see it?

So my review was premature and perhaps they saved themselves in the rest of the show. HBO doesn’t put out shitty products so I guess they know what they were doing. Sad we missed the rest, sounds a lot better than the first scene. And fuck those fucking fuckers in production that made no mention of over-booking the show, completely ABANDONED the 40 people who got left out and worst of all MADE US WAIT IN A FUCKING LINE FOR AN HOUR before all that shit happened. They should have told us we weren’t getting in within 10 minutes of our being there! For that, fuck those assholes. I’m going to pirate the shit out of this show if it makes it on the air. We probably would have stuck around had they not cut the cameras in between scenes. If we could have watched the details while they were resetting then we might have stayed a little longer. Still, fuck them for not telling us about it being overbooked. When i’d replied to the confirmation email with an angry comment the AUTO-REPLY mentioned that it would be over booked and to arrive early as opposed to the 6pm time listed. Who the fuck would that help if they had to reply to the confirmation message? Only people who had to cancel would have responded to that message. Stupid.

They overbooked the audience for the pilot taping of Bob & David’s new show “David’s Situation” so lucky you, AvantTrash is the first site to review it.

It’s not very funny, sorry. The first scene that is. Sure, pilots are messy, rough, and usually need a LOT of tweaking. In this case I think they’d need to revamp the show altogether. But this snap judgment is only in regards to the FIRST SCENE which we watched 3 TIMES via Closed Circuit TV from JUST OUTSIDE OF THE STUDIO because they overbooked the audience by about 40 people. So after waiting in line for like an hour at CBS they guide us to this craft services room with a 20-inch TV of the show being taped next door. Fucking Lame.

The show’s main angle seemed to be a 4th wall breaking mockery of sitcoms, delivered a bit half-assed with sitcom cliches that have already been parodied a hundred times. Any post-modernism intended seemed to swallowed up by it’s lack of originality. Harsh, I know but it seems to be well worn territory (remember Garry Shandling’s Sitcom?). So could this indictment be because we were bitter about not getting into the actual taping? Not really. I am a HUGE fan of Mr.Show who has sung its praises and done my part to indoctrinate everyone I know about it for more than a decade, and the only thing I could think about while leaving the studio was “my how they have fallen”.

To spoil it for you the plot of the mock sitcom is that David is done with the Hollywood life and moves to “middle America” to write for an in-flight magazine and becomes roommates with stereotypical hippie Matt Besser and a flag waving old guy played by nobody. (Bob Odenkirk is featured in a very short sidebit)

Hippie Matt: “Did you know that every time you hug someone it releases positive ions into the atmosphere?”
David: “Did you know that every time you hug a hippie you kill a practical thought?”

It had a few laughs but overall wasn’t what any of the 20 or so of us watching would call funny. The highpoint of what we saw was an intro delivered as David would in his standup where he blasts Jeremy Piven and the Hollywood Scene. “And I knew that it was too much when I saw that Jeremy Piven’s dog was wearing the same Von Dutch hat as me.” We didn’t stay for any of the other scenes (they killed the feed in between scenes and we’d already waited enough today) but outside of the studio on our way out we saw B.J. Porter, Mo Collins (featured in the first scene) and Jerry Minor. Before the show when we were parking the car we saw Janeane Garofalo walking to the studio, but can’t be sure she’s in the show or not (probably not).

Btw, David, are you done with standup? I think you are due for more. The inevitable failure of this pilot just might give him the opportunity to do so.

The scene did get a little better the more they worked through it so there is a slight possibility that with A LOT more work it could be passable but I don’t think we will be seeing a Bob & David lump of coal turned into a comedy diamond anytime soon.

co-authored by AliUptown.

AliUptown is in town from Chicago this weekend! I’m trying to give her the optimum L.A. experience. She’s having nappy time already, i tuckered her out. Last night we went to Beauty Bar (you’re so great, why are you dying?), Boardner’s (the bar side, not goth night) and finally Tiny’s (where 10 cops walked in and arrested 2 HUGE bikers from the “Mongols” MC. After they passed by I turned to AliUptown and said, “So 10 cops walk into a bar…” and the girl next to me was cool enough to say, “…right!?” and dish the High-5. It was a moment.

So far today we walked by Hollywood & Highland to see the costume freaks and Grauman’s to get our coffee (i live 2 blocks away), we went up Beachwood Cyn by the Hollywood sign, cruised half of Melrose (i finally got a haircut), and had lunch at the Village Idiot. Now its rest time because we are going to CBS in Studio City to check out the taping of the PILOT episode of “David’s Situation” by Mr.Show geniuses Bob Odenkirk and David Cross. Not sure what the plan is for later tonight; maybe Los Feliz, maybe the Strip. I think we’ll hit the beach tomorrow and Silverlake tomorrow night.

Anyone have any suggestions?

My West Coast conversion countdown has begun. In two days, AliUptown and intr0vert will reunite when I visit my L.A. counterpart for his birthday (which is Mother’s Day, go buy a card). If you’re in the L.A. area, give us a call. If you are in the Chicagoland area…too bad. I can’t wait. Can you?

Every Wednesday, Boardner’s in Hollywood becomes Club Moscow to host a few bands and then a night of 18 and over clubbing. This last Wednesday the typical Hollywood “distressed to impress” set and their “no-longer-jailbait-but-not-yet-legal” girlfriends came out to see SacramentOakland’s 2-piece dance-synth-poppers WALLPAPER. The 2 opening bands of the night drew meager crowds and seemed genuinely bored as opposed to just projecting an image of disinterest. Very little energy was expelled and hence very little applause was given, a typical L.A. Show. And then as Wallpaper took the stage it was as if the crowd had been waiting for them all week. Fresh off a successful showing at the Filter Party at Coachella, Wallpaper brought their infectious retro-electro party A-game and for an athletic 30-45 minute set and proceeded to rock the seemingly unrockable Hollywood crowd.

I’d heard Wallpaper’s songs via their myspace so I had an idea what to expect but seeing them and hearing them became as different as night and day. The songs seemed shaved down to only the meaty goodness “we were told our songs have to stay under 90 seconds” and it made for a streamlined set full of energetic originals and some well selected covers. It was very refreshing to see a band unbridled by pretension and willing to drop some recognizable songs into their set. In fact, the night started off with a rendition of Bobby Caldwell’s “What You Won’t Do For Love” with Bell Biv Devoe’s “Poison” sprinkled further down the set. The musicianship rested squarely in the capable hands of drummer/iPod Maestro Arjun Singh with vocals/Vocoder Ninja/party startin’ compliments of the satin-to-sequined frontman Ricky Reed. There was also an appearance by T-Rex himself during their song of the same name. It was so in demand that night that they played it twice.

I think you will be impressed with the caliber of a good portion of Wallpaper’s music. Standout tracks such as “T-Rex”, “A Million Dollars” and “Everytime We Do It” have some of the best synth work that I’ve heard since Prince was hanging with The Time.

Rating: 7/10 for their live show and 6/10 for the songs. These boys show definite promise! Keep watching Avanttrash this week for a chance to take home some gear from Wallpaper!