Oh the unspeakable things we would do to that robot.

And the Pussy Wagon.

Can you spot Semi Precious Weapons?

On the bill for last night’s show at my local dive was Taylor Hawkins & The Coattail Riders. After I’d finished SXSW rehearsals with KAV for the night I figured I would stop by and check him out as there is rumor we might be sharing a bill outside of LA in the near future (awaiting confirmation). Nearing midnight I was relieved that he hadn’t yet played when I got to my local dive, AKA The World Famous Viper Room on the Sunset Strip. During the day I saw a post on The Viper Room’s Facebook…

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OK GO does not fuck around when it comes to their videos. It’s a lost art, y’know.

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Hard to believe this is actually a B-Side and was also on the Twilight: New Moon Soundtrack.

I may technically live in the city of Los Angeles but OFFICIALLY I am a citizen of West Hollywood, CA which has been it’s own entity since 1984. I think the city planners could forsee that LA was set for collapse or realized eventually Sarah Palin would become president and knew us freaks and wierdos would be herded into internment camps for our deviant lifestyles and decided that we should just have our own city so it would be easier to decide where to put the razor-wire fences. Honestly, I can’t see myself living anywhere else or being stuck with a better group of freaks.

Sometimes the wild nights take a couple of strange turns and the next thing you know you’re devising a way to not only destroy your liver with alcohol and your lungs with smoke but we may have collectively devised the largest timebomb you can possibly send down your gullet. I’ve already told you about The Real Sunset Strip, a show that comes live from that famous WeHo drag via USTREAM hosted by Scheff and The Hawk whom each have their own regular “narrowcast” channels. Here is a clip that was streamed live recently where the hosts along with myself and photographer Andrew Herrold took a trip to Duke’s Coffee Shop* (between The Whisky A Go-Go and The Cat Club) and had them bring to reality an epicurean idea hatched next to a “street meat” cart in front of The Roxy minutes before the stream began.

The Real Sunset Dog:
1/4lb. Hot Dog wrapped in Bacon, Dipped in Batter and fried (w/Bun).
Optional Condiment Suggestions:  Cholula Hot Sauce, Ketchup, Mustard
Estimated Calories: 700-1,000+

*Sunset Strip History: The current site of Duke’s Coffee Shop used to be a club called The London Fog, which is where The Doors had their first regular gigs in West Hollywood before becoming the house band next door at The Whisky A Go-Go. Jim Morrison in his later years would probably have eaten The Real Sunset Dog without flinching. He was The Lizard King, he would probably eat anything!

Say what you will about Chicago’s OK GO, but when it comes to single-camera performance videos they don’t fuck around.

And a Andrew Ridgeley in a pear tree.

This is Christmas Music!

I’m the one taking pictures at the crime scene.

I met Kate Micucci for the first time a couple years ago at a BBQ Joint in Chinatown LA that was having a comedy night and made her a “You Should Know:” artist just after I launched this incarnation of AvantTrash. I have a fetish for the Uke and this girl is the closest thing to a ukulele hero since Tiny Tim or Asian Babies. Besides that She and her partner in Garfunkel & Oates (Riki Lindhome) are both very funny and talented actresses to boot (You might recognize them from Scrubs or the remake of Last House on the Left). With G&O they write songs about a variety of brilliant subjects: 3rd wheel dates, Self-Esteem being low enough to date someone less than ideal, The smugness of pregnant women, and Douchebags (to name a few). Their lyrics blend a crass and beautiful truth with a much-more-than-folk sound coming from whichever 2 instruments they happen to be holding (Guitar, Uke, Keys…and Kazoos). It’s coincidental that tonight they made their debut on Jay Leno on the same night I made them the 7th day of Xmas (I’ve had all 12 days planned out for a month). I caught a preview of their Leno performance during their Holiday Spectacular at the UCB Theatre last week. They were even nice enough to give everyone in the theatre CD’s and DVDs…and candy. A fitting wrap up to the year is their video I posted last year around this time for “Present Face”. You may recognize a few more comedians in this video than you did last year, they aren’t the only ones that had a good 2009.

Good thing about the economy being in the can, less people exchanging awkward gifts.

This is a real product. They are relying on the cheekiness of the internets to let their so-fake-it’s-got-to-be-real video sell a 10 cent piece of rubber for $4.95 (but wait, you get one free!) You’re gonna see it anyway, it might as well be here.

How long until they figure out a product that they can call, “I need a blowjob!”? Maybe something that inflates balloons faster?

Maybe this will actually increase the number of handjobs…the world needs them. Real ones are free…usually.

According to Wikipedia, the 12 days of Christmas are supposed to be from Christmas Day to “The Epiphany” and not the 12 days leading up to the Holiday, but I’m pretty sure they made it all up anyway. So here at AvantTrash we are going to instead countdown our 12 favorite Holiday Memes and Videos!

Day 12 = 2002′s Ding Fries Are Done!

This dude always reminded us of our good friend and former roommate Russell.

Makes you want to run away.

This is a totally weird video for Bob Dylan’s “Must Be Santa” off of his Christmas In The Heart charity album. For the first 30 seconds I was a bit horrified by Dylan’s awkward movements and straight hair but the song is pretty rad. I like it more than most of the newer Dylan stuff I’ve heard.

I guess Jews have the best Christmas songs.

Proceeds from Chirstmas In The Heart will provide 500,000 meals to school children in the developing world through the World Food Programme, 15,000 meals to homeless people in the United Kingdom through Crisis and more than 4 million meals to 1.4 million families in America through Feeding America.

Bob bless us everyone.