I don’t feel the need to perpetuate the distraction surrounding this video but it is a student film that uses all of the boring SFW plot from a 70’s “golden age” porno FILM intercut with scenes of destruction and the atrocities caused by our government in the Middle East since the 50s. The kid probably got in trouble for using the harmless innuendo laden film that just happened to be from a porno. Yes, I believe that 9/11 was an inside job and that our “leaders” are due to be held responsible for their crimes against humanity. I want to see it broadcast and public display when that happens. (Mussolini style). I restate this weekly and if you don’t like it then you can fuck right off.
I have a TV now! Although I shant hardly use it for anything besides movies, the occasional awards show or 30 rock episode it is already performing its prime directive… powering my Nintendo lust. Through sheer coincidence or possibly Nintendo’s overwhelming dominance of modern pop culture I stumbled across a new site today called The Tanooki. I unfortunately had a lonely enough childhood to know that the Tanooki is Mario’s Adorable Raccoon suit from SMB3. This site is an obsessive tribute to all things Nintendo where I found such gems as a frightening, lifelike rendering of Mario and a NES harmonica (you know, cause you blow into it).
Now if you’ll excuse me I have some mushrooms to eat and some tiny dinosaurs to ride.
Here are some rejected Star Wars products from the dawn of Episode 1 way back in 1998. Its a wonder that some of these didn’t make it into production because they are fucking brilliance! I personally would take the Death Star grill and Han Solo in carbonite mini fridge combo. Once again you have been one-upped, douchebag from Casting Crowns.
I have been going to this site Instructables.com for a little over a year now. On it you will find step-by-step instructions and videos for building, fixing, wiring, soldering, modding, and fine tuning just about anything imaginable. Want to build a robot that makes you coffee in the morning, go there and figure it out. And just recently stumbled upon WonderHowTo.com which is pretty close to the same thing but whereas Instructables is more about things you can make, wonder how to has instructional videos on absolutely ANYTHING! Of course I knew what it would lead to. The most popular instructional videos are all about sex. (But my favorite in that regard being the one about telling a hooker from a cop) But what i’ve been nutting on lately are the videos of how to swindle people. Not that I would mind you, but its good to know in case i’m ever a fugitive or destitute. It seems that most of the Con videos come from a british tv show (which means a shittier, watered down and overly funded version will be on American TV within a year). Ah, truly we have reached the information age.
Sometimes I just want to learn everything that will fit into my brain. Unfortunately I have had to displace a good deal of peoples names. So if you run into me on the street, don’t be offended if I forget your name again, Mom.
Warning! I think this video is pretty stupid and not all that funny. However, i chuckled a couple times and its FULL of Harry Potter references. So try to enjoy.
I heard about this spread earlier this week and stubled across the pictures via PopBytes.
Remember when we had to make due with unnatractive female comedians? Well score one point for dangerously out-of-control overpopulation. We get our funny where we get our sexy now. I figured I should use this opportunity to plug 30 Rock so they don’t cancel it. Right now it’s the only show on Network TV that I watch (online of course) because it’s funnier and smarter than anything else out there.
I don’t want to say anything bad about female comedians because a lot of these ladies are really talented and probably making all of the hopelessly deluded would-be startlets very jealous here in L.A. (good, go back to the fucking farms, its too crowded here as it is and you won’t go out with me) So I won’t join in on the backlash. Besides, its way past my bedtime. So I’ll leave you to these pictures and you can just replay old episodes of Strangers With Candy in your head while you stare at Amy Sedaris full as a tick. Or maybe you’re thinking about other things… sick bastard.
Sorry celebutards, but it seems that flashing your snatch is now both passe and avoidable. Thanks to Shibue Couture, there is a product that prevents not only your beev from catching cold, but also flashing your vag to the paps.
It’s like a sexy merkin.
But Ali, how do they work?” you may be wondering. I would hope the pictures are self-explanatory (okay, now I’m blushing). The panties go from your…triangle(?) to the top of your crack without wrapping around your hips. A side note to confused guys-where this differs from ordinary thongs is that on any girl with some meat on her bones, the straps unavoidably cut into one’s hips, resulting in pantylines under anything fitted. And I thought normal g-strings were torture devices.
Each cootch cover comes with a liner and spare adhesives (so you can have coverage and get a bikini wax at the same time!). The adhesives mold to your special place (ow), thus making these gems reusable. Just remove the sticky stuff (the tape, people, the tape), rinse the fabric with mild soap and water (you still with me?), put on new adhesive, and you’re ready to whore out again.
Eh, I shouldn’t be too critical. I can appreciate that this could be a lifesaver to someone wearing a formal gown who doesn’t want VPL or to go commando. The website also suggests that their product is perfect for strippers women who love to dance. But what happens when you have to pee? Similar in concept, the ‘C-String‘ looks the same, only it stays in place with the use of wire. Sort of a headband for your crotch. Yeah, these things are actually marketed as ’sexy and elegant’. Christ, what if they fell off whilst wearing a skirt? ‘Scuse me while I pick up my…thingy.
I tried to throw in as many euphemisms for the vagina as I could. Long story short, for 30 bucks a pop, I’ll DIY it with some double-sided tape. Or not.
Now that I got that out of the way, I can nerd out. In a new issue of the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” comic book” series, Buffy sleeps with a fellow slayer. Hot shit. But alas, the hot, ass-kicking blonde is not officially joining the other team. According to Joss Whedon, Buffyverse creator-
“We’re not going to make her gay, nor are we going to take the next 50 issues explaining that she’s not. She’s young and experimenting, and did I mention open-minded?”
Besides, anyone who knows anything about BTVS (cue the chirping crickets), knows that Willow is the token carpet muncher. Can’t wait for some male vamps to gay it up.
Sorry, the only picture I could find of the actual lesbo action was on Perez. But you nerds can buy the comics through Dark Horse, or Amazon, whatev. Or you could just go to Borders and drool over it there. I swear, this shit is like porn for me.
Keith Richards may be a lot of things, but I never thought it would result in high fashion male modeling. Well, that’s a bit of a stretch, but he is the new posterdude of Louis Vuitton-probably the workings of that crazy Marc Jacobs (creative director of LVMH). The ad reads as such:
“Some journeys cannot be put into words. New York. 3am. Blues in C.”
Whatever. Apparently, Richards is planning to donate his fee to ‘The Climate Project’, an enviromental cause. The new ad was shot by Annie Leibovitz.
Equally bizarre is Louis Vuitton’s ads last year, featuring Mikhail Gorbachev in the back of a limo, being driven past the remains of the Berlin Wall, also shot by Leibovitz.
Stock up now because by year’s end Polaroids will be a thing of the past. Like flash cubes and film discs and those large format instant cameras that we pretended were boats because they stopped making film for those before we were born but our grandparents decided that their old junk belonged in the toybox.
Certain drugstores and 1 hour photo huts in my hometown wouldn’t let you keep prints of YOUR photos that contained nudity or “questionable” content. You used to have to rely on Polaroids to help you remember what that stripper that gave you the herps looked like. Now you can snap all of the digital photos that your memory card can hold and print off near-perfect photos at home. You dirty bastard.
Coincidentally while I was looking for a photo of the Polaroid 1000 that my grandma had, I came across this flickr of Stripper audition photos from the 60s & 70s. It’s actually some Classy Stuff (mostly clothed).
Agyness Deyn. My new obsession. She is the most beautiful thing on the runways these days, and she is a much welcomed precursor of the return of the supermodel.
She’s younger than me, and she’s already the shit in Britain and the States. Most notably, the face of Armani and Burberry. To dig a little deeper, a mainstay in House of Holland and Gareth Pugh shows (google them-please). Her own personal style has been described as ‘Jackie O. crossed with Debbie Harry meets Stevie Nicks’, but whether onstage or backstage, she looks fierce in anything.
A few years ago (at a whopping size 4) she was told she needed to lose weight at castings in Italy. Now she’s being nonchalantly referred to as the next Kate Moss-minus the rusty pipes. In all fairness, the bitch does have curves-for a model. Last November, she won ‘Model of the Year’ at the British fashion awards, and shes opened and closed dozens of shows in New York, London, Milan, and Paris this year (I tried to count them all on style.com, it took too long).
Also, she plays guitar in a band (Lucky Knitwear), designs jewelry (for House of Holland), guest DJs at Misshapes, and dates a musician (Josh Hubbard of The Paddingtons). Are you in love with her yet?
Totally better than Sarah Silverman fucking Matt Damon. Featuring Brad Pitt, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Meatloaf, Joan Jett, Cameron Diaz, Perry Farrell, Huey Lewis, McLovin, Harrison Ford and Some Worthless Nobodies.
Well i’ve been told that I did pretty well on my predictions. I only wish that I was 2 blocks away from here figuring out where the real after party is. I killed a bottle of 2 Buck Chuck Chardonnay tonight watching what the booze is telling me is the best/most multicultural Oscars in a long time. Good Show, how good was Jon Stewart. Take that MTV for cancelling his show! (seelast week’s Trashing). Answers in Green mean I was fucking right. And apparently now an Orange ribbon means to close Gitmo. A black ribbon should mean “Lets hang this administration by their own small intestines”. I’m wearing that one right now.
SO LETS SEE HOW GOOD I AM!
Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” -I got this one right. No competition though really.
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men”-Correcto. Vato Bueno. El Creep-o Haircutto.
Performance by an actress in a leading role
I guess you can’t trust an instinct that came from an R-Rated dream. Sorry Laura Linney.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
I had Cate Blanchette pegged for the consulation prize of best supporting but Tilta Swinton grabbed the award for best creepily thin british woman playing an american this year.
Best animated feature film of the year
“Ratatouille” -Correct again. Sorry Aqua Teens.
Achievement in art direction
Sweeney Todd took it. I had the Golden Compass. I didn’t see the film, I’m guessing it had creepy Tim Burton-esque things.
Achievement in cinematography
“There Will Be Blood”- Correct.
Achievement in costume design
“Elizabeth: in the Golden Age”- How silly of me.
Achievement in directing
“No Country for Old Men” -I’m going to use my parents distain as the mile marker in any good film. They told me that they saw Fool’s Gold over Juno this weekend.
Best documentary feature
I kinda knew that “Taxi to the Dark Side” would take it but I figured that 4 movies about war and Iraq and one about healthcare that the dark horse would win. But the dark horse couldn’t afford his health insurance and had to be put down.
Achievement in film editing
Stupid Bourne Ultimatum.
Best foreign language film of the year
“The Counterfeiters” Austria -Good Posters, Trust your graphic designer.
Achievement in makeup
So making an attractive French Woman look like an attractive French woman is apparently harder than making a man with tentacles for a beard.
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
“Atonement” Dario Marianelli -Yeah, typewriters should be in every emo band too.
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
“Falling Slowly” from “Once” Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova -I only listened to 30 seconds of that song and I pegged it for best. Too bad the music industry is dead or i’d have an A&R career.
Best motion picture of the year
“No Country for Old Men” A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers -Hooray for Snuff Films!
Achievement in sound editing
Curse you Matt Damon for taking another win from the Transformers!
Achievement in visual effects
Melodie thinks that this might help convince them to make another Golden Compass movie. I hope so, too.
Adapted screenplay
No Country Grabbed this one too. I kinda think at this point that P.T. Anderson got the shaft tonight. No love for the valley.
Original screenplay
“Juno”, Written by Diablo Cody -I’m actually really tired of all the attention that has been brought to her being a stripper. It was in Minnesota, she was still wearing a parka, so it’s not the same thing. But I’m glad I was right about this one too. But now there is so much more pressure for her to follow it up really big. I don’t wish that upon anyone.
I knew it would be a big day for the Coen Bros. And they totally deserve it. I did pretty well and I hope I won my office pool (I already won the Super Bowl pool on blind luck). I know I really rip into some stuff and seem really bitter but I think tonights Oscars were the best I’ve seen in a long fucking time. Maybe next year I’ll get to go to some parties. You can email me if you have the hook up.
This neighborhood is on LOCKDOWN. The Goodyear blimp is overhead. 3 Helicopters are circling. Every 10 mins i hear a group of people screaming. It could be a war, but it’s just the Oscars.
I had to walk down to the street to check it out and its mostly Latinos rubbernecking with their very small children at risk of being stepped on like so many chihuahua. And the “God Hates Fags” assholes from the Westboro Baptist Church are here. They have a sign that says “Heath in Hell” to accompany their “Thank God for Dead Soldiers”. If one walks past me in front of my apartment and the cops aren’t in sight then I’m going to beat them and leave them for dead, and God will thank me for it. Some lovely people were protesting them, and I gave them my thanks. Have a lovely day of make believe.
First off some people have told me that the comments aren’t working for them, if this happens to you let me know as I’m trying to figure it all out.
I can see the Kodak Theatre from where I am sitting right now, no really. When I say I live in Hollywood, I mean I live in the dirty old part of Hollywood with all of the tourists and the places to buy stripper boots and $10 cheeseburgers that don’t come with fries. Well, come tomorrow this will be the epicenter of the Hollywood hoohah of the Academy Awards. I think a lot of award shows are BS, especially people’s choice awards. As if all the money they got from being the most popular thing out there wasn’t enough, they need an award for it too? WTF?! And the people who participate in those things never notice when humanitarian awards are given out, oh what a sad state of affairs. So anyway, this post is about the Oscars! Although film is an art form and art is subjective and probably shouldn’t be judged, i still watch them anyway. So i guess i’m a hypocrite. Well, here are my Oscar Picks -enhanced with smartassery commentary.
Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” -I drink your milkshake! *Sschluuuuurp* I drink it up!
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men”-What’s the most you’ve ever lost in a coin toss?
Performance by an actress in a leading role
Laura Linney in “The Savages” -I picked Julie Christie before even though I hadn’t seen her movie but she was the favorite but I had a really inappropriate dream about Laura Linney last night so I’m changing my answer. Did you see Primal Fear? That movie is chronic.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There” -She does a better Dylan than Dylan. I think SHE should go on tour and play his songs. He sure as hell can’t.
Best animated feature film of the year
“Ratatouille” -I must be the only person who didn’t see this film. But i’ve heard its good.
Achievement in art direction
“The Golden Compass” -Too bad there won’t be a sequel. These books are rad and kill god! I think the movie failed because they chopped off the ending which was the whole point of the fucking story. Dumbass studio douches.
Achievement in cinematography
“There Will Be Blood” -There was always oil and debris falling on the lens, it kinda bothered me but all of the crane shots and the way they filmed the violent parts of this film are sweet.
Achievement in costume design
“Across the Universe” -Didn’t see it. I’m a huge Beatle fan. I might like it, but that might not be a risk i’m willing to take.
Achievement in directing
“No Country for Old Men” -My parents hated and didn’t completely understand this film, yet I think they still liked it because it engaged them enough to tell me they hated Anton so much. Mission Accomplished.
Best documentary feature
“Sicko” -Why are we not rioting in the streets? And what the fuck do some of the liberals I know have against Michael Moore?
Achievement in film editing
“Into the Wild”: Jay Cassidy -Just Brilliant.
Best foreign language film of the year
“The Counterfeiters” Austria -Didn’t see it. But it had the best posters.
Achievement in makeup
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”: Ve Neill and Martin Samuel -Although a lot was CGI, the prosthetics in this movie were insane! My other choice is Norbit. Only because I didn’t see it and I’m sure it helped Eddie Murphy realize his life’s dream of being a fat black woman. Stop being crazy Eddie Murphy, if you like tranny hookers then tell the world proudly! We’ll still love you for Beverly Hills Cop.
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
“Atonement” Dario Marianelli -Those typewriters were chronic! But it was kind of gimmicky. I think There Will Be Blood should have gotten a nom. I’m not the world’s biggest Radiohead fan (unlike my friend Melodie) but I thought Johnny Greenwood’s music stuck out quite a bit and although it was jagged and at times very out of place for the period, it was very moving and added to the story immensely. Ironically, the day after my friend saw it she told me the music bothered her…until I told her who it was.
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
“Falling Slowly” from “Once” (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova -Didn’t see it but 2 people I know keep mentioning that I need to see it and tell me the music is great and that “I’d love it”. But people said that about Moulin Rouge …and I hated it.
Best motion picture of the year
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers -It was tight. Does it deserve to win over and of the rest? I dunno, it was a pretty good year for heavy films where everyone but the bad guy dies. That was the deep part of this post because if you really think about it, thats what all of these stories are. Protagonist Snuff films. Anton Chigurh, Daniel Plainview and Briony Tallis all live and have the last word despite doing horrible things and killing all of the other characters. Has nobody else put this common theme of these movies together? I win.
Achievement in sound editing
“Transformers”: Ethan Van der Ryn and Mike Hopkins -How to you spell out the transformation noise? I miss the squishy trasform noise from the cartoon. This movie was all effects and sounds. How did those digital wizards decide what a 40 foot robot transforming into a scorpion would sound like?
Achievement in visual effects
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”: John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier -I watched a short film about how they made the Maelstrom sequence, it was disgusting how technical it was. Couple that with all of the pyro on the live sets and multiple Jack Sparrows and I’d say this will edge out Transformers and Golden Compass. Transformers and Golden Compass were amazing in Cinerama, btw. (I just want to brag about where I live again and say that I was in the first domestic audience to see the last Pirates movie. They even confiscated our cell phones so we wouldn’t leak any of it. Jerry Bruckheimer gave a speech.)
Adapted screenplay
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson -Upton Sinclair, motherfuckers.
Original screenplay
“Juno”, Written by Diablo Cody -I want to see more strippers win this award. This movie hemmoraged quirkiness in a way that very few movies can do without seeming manufactured or forced. Can she keep it up? We’ll see, but this movie had comedy and heart and drama and it seems like it didn’t get nearly enough love from the Academy, which only proves they are of the douche.
And Just because I picked these movies it doesn’t mean that I liked them, its just who I think will or should get the oscar. I’ve got an office pool going and I picked a bunch of different ones than i did here just in case it was a night full of surprises. Which it wont be. I think overall “No Country for Old Men” will take a shitload of Oscars home. But it would be rad if Juno took a few. I’ll Trash the Oscars on Monday. Have a good weekend!
Does anyone remember when MTV was really, really good. I mean, its fucking WORTHLESS now, but thats been common knowledge for nearly a decade. I think what made MTV brilliant “back-in-the-day” (I hate that term almost as much as “Old School”) was all of the fucked up/off the wall/surreal/nonsensical stuff that is now common place in places like [Adult Swim] and to an extent Comedy Central. I’ll rattle some of it off and as I do keep in mind that none of these things exist any longer so they are now a reason why mTV eats a big bag of assholes:
Liquid Television: the bastion of Sick and Twisted Animation’s Revival which was basically [Adult Swim]. It birthed Beavis and Butthead, Æon Flux, MTV’s Oddities The Head, and was later born into Cartoon Sushi. There is so much creativity collected into this series that you can’t turn on the tv without seeing a descendant in motion graphics that every network now uses or commercials trying to out-weird each other. Without this show there would be no Daria, King of the Hill, Mtv’s Oddities The Maxx, The Brothers Grunt (You don’t know what the fuck i’m talking about), Ren and Stimpy…
The Bumpers: “We’ve got Crab Legs, aaaah” Thankfully, YouTube is full of these old idents and promos. Bite Sized Brilliance. “I just blew my nose into the MTV logo, ya wanna see? … Well I didn’t want to show it to you anyway!”
The Characters: Aside from the VJs who were all pretty rad until Simon Rex and Idalis showed up. (But for some reason I like Simon Rex now.) Donal Logue and Toby Huss’ (genius!) characters still sit in little corners of my brain singing to each other. On Friday I was leaving a bar and a girl was karao-killing Alanis Morrissete’s “Ironic” and as always, it made me think of Jimmy the Cab Driver. Oddly enough, 10 minutes later I walk into the liquor store next to Spaceland and “Ironic” was playing there as well, i shit you not. “It’s like going crazy, when you’re already nuts.” Its pretty much the reason I decided to post this. And isn’t it ironic, dont you think?
The Sets: Watch this Alternative Nation clip of Kennedy and Tori Amos. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of the backgrounds. Very “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” style of production design. I seriously wanted to live there. (Trivial Knowledge Diarrhea: Rob Zombie was a production designer for Pee-Wee)
The Shows: This is going to sound strange but until “The Real World” showed up, MTV had SCRIPTED ENTERTAINMENT! Egads. So this is another of those “so I was leaving a bar the other day” stories but… I met this guy named Chip the other day and when I hear the name Chip I think about the MTV show Austin Stories. I know, you’ve never heard of it. But through the pure coincidence of living in L.A. the guy I was talking to actually was THAT GUY from the show. Beyond that The Jon Stewart Show (yeah it was great, you missed it), Apartment 2F, The State, Remote Control, Idiot Savants were also too good to live. And I wont talk total shit about the real world, the original concept was great but it could only really work for 1 season. After that it seems they cast the same show over and over until it dissolved into a house full of drunken cunts and douchebags.
I know I must be forgetting tons but I think you get my point. I was glued to a TV set growing up and am now unable to connect with humanity. -No, wait, the point I was trying to make is there needs to be a place for creative entertainment like what MTV had to offer in the 80s up to the mid-90s. Society is really missing out on there not being an MTV classic channel right now. And no, I didn’t forget. MTV used to play Music Videos, then M2 used to play music videos, then MTV2 used to play videos. Well you know what? Video Killed the Video Star when MTV and the music industry stopped listening to the audience and tried to tell them what they should like. In a way, their plan seems to be working, but then again thats why we are stuck with American Idol.
This video comes from a link on Wordofmouthradio.org which is a show on New Hampshire Public Radio produced by my awesome friend and ex-Lincolnite Avishay Artsy:
She can’t play an instrument, her performances turn to shit, she has no stage presence, she’s a goddamned junkie, and it seems that her whole album was Mark Ronson (Because it sounds exactly the same as the 50 other soul-regurgitated anglo-turds he produced last year*). So why did this bitch win so many awards? I think Leslie Feist should deathmatch her for the grammys she rightfully deserved. Watch out, Feist! She could be on PCP with the strength of 10 emaciated models! Here’s the video of Wino smoking crack in case you haven’t seen it. I hope they throw that dried up hack in prison and force her to listen to her vomit-inducingly unironic song until she snuffs it.
I stopped watching the Grammys a few years ago. I should say rather, that I stopped beliving that they mean anything. They really don’t.** The industry is dead (thank god) and it seems that only Major Label Artists get any props for the music of 2007. Well, what the fuck? Cassadaga came out last year and all it won was for BEST PACKAGING? (It is pretty fucking sweet if you haven’s seen it.) But the point I’m making is that there are Hundreds of AMAZING bands that made some amazing music last year and some worthless assholes in the Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences are trying to tell you that Amy Winehouse made the best achievements in music last year. Go Die.
I’m not trying to be pessimistic but I hung out with too many musicians last year that treated it all too much like a job. It’s not. Its better than a job, its what you are! Be professional but HAVE FUN! Thats the reason that you got into it in the first place, right? If not then STOP DOING IT! I was fortunate enough that I also hung out with plenty of musicians that worked their asses off, made great music, put everything they had financially, emotionally and physically into their music and they got little to no recognition outside of Pitchfork.com. I guess more importantly is that they have a connection to THE FANS and people who came to see them live. And thats what’s really important. Awards are ridiculous; the next time you hear about one, spit on the ground.
I don’t even care that the death of the music industry has snuffed my dream of designing album artwork for a living. At least I’m still doing packaging that millions of people see and I’ll still be alive with a career next year (hopefully). Hey Amy, here’s Renfro’s dealers’ number, give him a call when you come to L.A.
*Lily Allen you’re excused because you are still adorable.
in your head while you stare at Amy Sedaris full as a tick. Or maybe you’re thinking about other things… sick bastard.
