Weekly Trashing: You know what, bitch? Blowjobs are miracles too.

SHOCK ME, SHOCK ME, SHOCK ME!

via Jezebel

I dont watch these shows but let me guess, these bitches are so stupid that they can’t figure out condoms, the pill, the shot, IUD’s, plan B, pulling out or blow jobs? What do the kids today have against blowjobs! Is it that they are no good at giving them and are embarassed? I’ll cut you some slack, there is only one way to get better and that is practice! So with all of the education and public programs to promote and fund safe sex they are still getting pregnant. And don’t even mention shmashmortions to them because heaven forbid they kill whatever future criminal is going to slop out of their filthy gab. Pretty great how they’ll have religious reasons for not doing that yet they don’t honor any traditional ideas of marriage before children nor the church’s stance of abstinence. I don’t know about you but I’d rather be a baby-killer than a hypocrite. So this is supposed to be “news” when you find out they got knocked up AGAIN and this time she, “doesn’t know who the father could be” because she was out whoring it up? Boo hoo. Let’s pass the hat and we’ll collectively pay to get that nut cracked and sucked out of her to save us the 15 years we have to wait for this full circle to come around to make Teen Mom a 30-year-old grandparent. (I assume she’s 15 or something, this guy looks like a rapist)

It’s sad that all of the people smart enough to have made the literally thousands of responsible decisions necessary become a financially stable asset to society are never the ones actually replicating their responsible genes into the pool. (see Idiocracy) From the bottom of my heart fuck baby culture TV shows and movies. Fuck everyone who watches them, fuck everyone who produces them, fuck everyone who markets them, fuck everyone who cross-promotes them with their diaper brands and fuck everyone who doesn’t see that this is a dangerous glorification of what is destroying us as a society from the inside out. If you don’t think we are overpopulated then ask any teacher in an urban high school if they are working too hard for their $22,000 salary. Hey cunt, how about you get a job and find a RESPONSIBLE PARTNER TO PROPERLY HELP RAISE YOUR CHILD and stop straining all of our resources? Just a thought. And what the fuck have you done that you DESERVE a kid? Does being a spraypainted orange M&M-looking bitch qualify you for anything but a parking cone? Thanks for ruining the world because you’re an idiot.

Think of the BILLIONS we would save in taxpayer burden by making birth control free and readily available to teenagers. If our kids aren’t learn sex education from their parents (who in the future will all be teen moms at this rate) then they are going to learn it from the absentee parent that is TV. Yes dear child, I know your life isn’t going to amount to anything but replicating will not make it any more meaningful despite whatever evolutionary chemicals in your brain try to tell you that your kid is special and that procreation is a miracle. It’s not. How about you go be a doctor and cure AIDS instead of farting out another disease-ridden shitbag?

I know nothing of this show. Her first pregnancy might have been a legitimate accident, that 2 in 100 chance of ¬†whatever contraception failing is something that does happen. I’ve been scared half to death twice by the good people at Trojan skimping on the durability of their magical wares but it doesn’t mean I’m going to stop using them! Thats like not getting in a car because sometimes they crash. But (and that’s what I’m guessing is a big butt) the couple-of-the-year in that picture up there hardly look like the poster children of Planned Parenthood so much as they look like People of Walmart. Look at this guy! Did Silent Bob swallow Big Pun? (News flash Vanilla Ice, it’s probably not even your puppy.) I’ve lost most of my ability to properly guess ages but I’d say he has at least 5 years jump on her and from the looks of this screengrab he is ready to “do the honorable thing”* if this is his kid. Hopefully he makes enough selling ¬†custom rims to support both of her crumbsnatchers. I have the distinct feeling this story doesn’t turn out that way and I’m guessing that THIS WON’T BE THEIR LAST!

It’s time to stop making reality shows about morons no matter how entertaining they are to watch (Seriously, Pauly Shore, nobody cares.). We should be better than that as a society and there are plenty of examples already if you pry yourself away from your TV long enough to interact with another human being. And if you ever really need your fix you can always go visit them at Walmart.

Plus i’m not sure why these producers felt they needed their own show, they already have one…

*”the honorable thing” to me is aiming for the chin. And yes, I really hate your kids.

4 thoughts on “Weekly Trashing: You know what, bitch? Blowjobs are miracles too.

  1. Pulling out worked for me, untill i didn’t…

    These shows are horrible, but i’ll admit to not being able to look away from the train wreck.