Lookie here, a post from AliUptown! AND a post from AliUptown that’s not vampire-related. Well…mostly. For some odd reason, I started thinking about my grade school/early teen crushes the other day. Color me random. I asked a couple friends around the same age about their crushes and got some very interesting and telling answers. Tiffany Amber Thiessen, Johnathon Taylor Thomas, Tom Cruise (Top Gun Tom Cruise) and even Ben Affleck from Chasing Amy. And since I have been so fucking M.I.A. on here, I figure it was a valid enough topic. So here goes, I ‘m putting it all out on the table. I have no shame.

Rufio:

Loved Hook. Still love Hook. Have it on DVD and watch it somewhat regularly. Rufio stole my heart right away with his rebellious leadery-ness and his crazy hair. It got worse when he was all hardcore and “lookie lookie I got Hookie” with his dramatical eye make-up. Perhaps this was an early sign of my fascination with guyliner. The actor who played Rufio, Dante Basco shares a birthday with myself and Michael Jackson. I can’t believe I was like 7 when that movie came out. I was crushing big time. I kinda still do.

Benny:

And we continue further back into my demented childhood to another crush. A vampire. This was pretty much where it started, as far as I can remember. I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie) which came out a year before Hook. A young David Arquette captured my heart and made me tingle in foreign places as Benny, Pike’s friend. A total punk, and the fangs/piercings/leather really did it for me. Who could have guessed how my obsession deep fascination would develop over the next 18ish years.

Drew Barrymore:

Don’t get me wrong, I still love the shit outta this girl. But teen/early 20s Drew was just too amazing for words. The Mad Love/Poison Ivy/flashing Dave Letterman Drew Barrymore was this earthy, yet unruly (but not drug addicted-she grew outta that by her 20s) goddess with these perfect cupid bow lips and I was straight up in love. The crush is a little later than these others, but believe you me if I didn’t have pictures of her ALL OVER my locker in 8th grade. I knew her birthday, middle name, tattoos (I totally wanted the butterfly below the navel tat she had)-probably my first official girl-crush.

Eddie Furlong:

He’s totally gross now, but I dug Eddie Furlong in his prime (Terminator/Detroit Rock City/American History X). Again, with the kinda trashy, punk kid thing. He was sort of adorable in Pecker (full of grace!), but not crush-worthy.

Sam Huntington:

This kid in Jungle 2 Jungle was my dreamboat for awhile. The teenybopper romance scene between him and Leelee Sobieski gave me tingles and jingles down below. (Yeah. I said it.) He was kinda cute in Detroit Rock City too, but my boner was for Eddie Furlong in that particular movie. I think he’s one of the Geico Cavemen now. How odd.

Taylor Hanson:

I had to go to a dark place to bring this out in the open. But I figured if I was gonna write this, I had to be completely honest. I spent a decent amount of my tween-ness (although it wasn’t called ‘tween’ back then) loving the shit out of Taylor Hanson. I had two close friends in grade school, and we each had claim on a Hanson. I actually think I may have touched myself to a Hanson. I’m not saying I’m proud of it, but I should point out an early affinity for long hair. He got cuter as he got older (and then it went back downhill a bit), but I never loved the cuter Taylor after the hair became short. What can I say?

I know there’s more good ones, but I’ve lost all my back issues of Tiger Beat from 1996. But please, avid AvantTrash readers (all 3 of you), don’t leave me out here in shamelessville all by myself. Who did you get naughty feelings for when you were younger?

Anyone? Anyone?

Even More Trash:

1. This one’s going in the Spank Bank.
2. The Spank Bank: NakedGirlsInOurBed.com
3. Ok, now its 3 MADtv alums in the past 2 weeks.
4. Midnight Sun leaked online: One asshole ruins it for all of us.