Cicero rolls over in his tomb
I’m a firm believer that Twitter is the dumbest shit ever. I find its very existence to be patently absurd. I’m not one of the 10% of 12 year old girls and my “going on 30″ friends who feel the need to be a Twitter hipster, but hey, that’s just me. I’m an anti-social bastard who hates people and would like the ability to say that in more than “140 characters”. But, whatever makes them feel good about themselves, I guess.
Whether or not Twitter is relevant isn’t really the issue. Recently, Republican Senator Chuck Grassley posted this on his twitter page:
“Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us”time to deliver” on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND.”
and then this:
“Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said ‘time to delivr on healthcare’ When you are a “hammer” u think evrything is NAIL I’m no NAIL”
When I came across the article about Grassley’s Twitter whining, it wasn’t the substance of what he wrote that made me laugh (and it’s debatable as to whether any exists), but rather the way in which this guy said it. What we have here is a sitting United States Senator writing as if he were a 12 year old emo girl upset that her boyfriend dumped her. Internet fiends butchering the English language is one thing, but when a 5 term senator does it, not only does said senator look like a retard but it instantly makes whatever legitimate point he or she is trying to make look ridiculous. Is this really what the senate has been reduced to?
Senators are supposed to be the adults of the government. The United States senate, in particular, has one of the greatest histories of oratory of any government body ever. There was a time when people like Daniel Webster and Henry Clay modeled themselves after Cicero in trying to use coherent sentences to formulate a logic system on which to advance debate. There is a certain tradition of classiness and respect that comes with holding a senate seat. Senators are supposed to have higher standards for discourse, debate, and oratory. I don’t want any politician, let alone the freaking senate, trying to cram statements to under 140 characters. I find it stupid when my friends do it. If senators feel the need to try and reach out to younger constituents through Twitter then use it to post a link to the speech you gave on the senate floor about the topic you want them to know about or have your campaign aides use it to let people know when you’re having a town hall or something. Otherwise, you’ll look like Senator Chuck Grassley, a guy who doesn’t appear to be able to pass a third grade spelling exam yet is able to maintain one of the most prestigous roles in the U.S. government. Grassley himself is a big fan of English as the official language, I wonder if he’d also be cool with converting all government and state documents into Twitter speak? That would probably save a lot of paper and thus, a lot of money for the federal goverment. Maybe somebody should post that suggestion on his Twitter page.
A while back, there was a humorous fake Twitter page for Homer’s Odyssey. It was funny precisely because it was so dumb. I’m not a comedy guy, but I’ll do my best 21st century Cicero Twitter post…
“Cons C-sar while u sightseeing in Gaul u said ‘teh die iz cast’ Pomp still on skedul/even workinWKEND 2 stop u. C U N Rome FCKER”
classy :)
Tags: cicero, grassley, homer, Obama, odyssey, senate, Twitter
