To President Obama: Prosecute Cookieboarding
As I write my first post for the amazing and astounding avanttrash.com (slurpage is required in the job description) I am reminded of all the great people who brought me to this apex of my amateur blogging career. First to my mother, who without her uwavering support I would…..wait, what? You say I’ve joined a website even less well-known than the one I was a part of before? Wait a minute! I don’t get paid for my contributions to this site either?! Unbelievable! And here I believed T.J.’s sweet nothings only to find out that his tongue not only tickles, but is silver laced! Moral of the story: never trust a horny guitar player :)
In any event, I’m going to be the new “political correspondent” for avanttrash. I’ll be posting liberal propaganda from time to time and telling you why Republicans are douchebags (and sometimes, Democrats). Though I was born in the worst Catholic hospital in the country (Screw you, St. Francis) in good old Grand Island, Nebraska, I spent a decade living in the liberal utopia known as California (Redlands, to be exact). It was at this time that the California public education system properly indoctrinated me into liberal philosophy, probably because of the horror and shame they were feeling (thanks, Reagan!). I’ve known T.J. and Ali for about 10 years now and “directed” both in a horror film called The Grand Horror. If you’ve ever wondered what T.J. is like as an actor, stop wondering, because he isn’t one. :)
In all seriousness, I want to thank T.J., Ali, and the other avanttrash contributers for bringing me into the fold. I have a very pro-flame war bias when it comes to politics and I expect there might be some fun times coming in the future. I also want to thank my co-hosts and supporters over at the Splattercast. I can’t wait for the inevitable “Benedict Arnold” and “Et tu Mathias?” e-mails. Deadlantern is way more interesting a site without me anyway, right? :)
With that, I hereby demand that President Obama not be a pussy and prosecute Cookie Monster. The law is the law and I don’t care how many Sesame Street fans argue that they “only” did it to one terrorist.
Even More Trash:
Welcome MaT, your slurpage is much appreciated.
Trying to lure us over to AT, are you? Well it won’t work! Maybe on some of those other pansies at DeadLantern, but not I! I’ve already commented on numerous posts here, you say? Alright, fine.
Great to see you posting over here. Looking forward to reading your contributions. :)
Mat, stop blogwhorin’ your ass around and finish Outpost Doom!
If I had the capacity to finish Outpost Doom, I would. Unfortunately, my hard drive containing all of the footage is dead.
Is he kidding? Who knows? It’s all part of the fun :)
I’m not kidding. And I’ve told all of you this before
I put all the footage on my external harddrive because I have no room on my desktop HD. External then dies, thus making it impossible for me to do any editing. Pretty simple, actually :)
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