Well, it’s been a pretty crescent fresh 2008 for AvantTrash.com. Since it’s re-birth into this current home/incarnation back in February this site has gained a small but loyal following with an average of a few thousand new visitors every week! Sure you may be here just to see a few of the photos, maybe read a review or two but we certainly thank you and look forward to a lot of big things we’ve got planned for 2009!
And instead of watching the Robo-matronic Dick Clark and Ryan Seaquest DSV dropping their LED balls on the over coast, enjoy this guy’s cubes of insanity!
Oh my sweet Darwinian Irony! An Hero for the protection of Sharks has been supposedly eaten by a great white! Wow! This story is like eating a fried Twinkie! It’s so terrible but you have to love when someone says, “Deadly nature, you are so beautiful! Let me give you a great big hug!” and nature says, “Yum! Human Sacrifice!”
In all seriousness though Shark Poaching is a serious problem because their numbers are scary low and Asians with tiny penises are harvesting them for JUST THEIR DORSAL FINS to put in a tasteless soup to give them VIRILITY! In many cases they discard the rest of the fish.
The holidays are a wonderful time to vent the frustrations you’ve spent a year repressing. I think I should release mine here on something that doesn’t really matter instead of on my family today. Here goes:
Michael Jackson is just full of problems: forclosing on Neverland, being forced to play vegas, kiddie fiddler lawsuits. And now according to a biographer, The King of Pop is pretty sick.
MELVILLE, N.Y. — Michael Jackson is ailing from a rare lung condition and needs to undergo a transplant, according to the author of a new biography on the King of Pop.
“He’s had it for years, but it’s gotten worse,” Halperin said in an interview with In Touch magazine. “He needs a lung transplant but may be too weak to go through with it. He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, which his doctors have had a lot of trouble stopping. It’s the bleeding that is the most problematic part. It could kill him.”
Halperin also said Jackson “can barely speak” and is having trouble seeing: “The vision in his left eye is 95 percent gone.”
There is still no confirmation from the Jackson camp so maybe this isn’t true.
Look at that great photo of MJ when he still looked a little bit normal. We miss you human Michael Jackson! Get well soon, crazy! While they are putting in a new lung, maybe they can put his face back on. We want to see the biggest comeback in history.
Garfunkel and Oates is Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci and they are great! Check out their other YouTube Videos.
I’m practicing my “Present Face” for this year. I haven’t seen much of my extended family since last Christmas. I gave them a list of used vinyl records that I would prefer over some shiny new piece of junk from Wal-Mart I’ll never use, I can’t imagine that they know what I really want, which is lower rent. And I don’t think they can do that.
6am flights, Ick. LAX, Double Ick. I didn’t go to sleep last night because the airport shuttle came at 3:30am and the flight that I was going to get a good power nap in there just happened to be 2 goddamned screaming kids. One was named Carson and the other Cadence, I overheard their names being announced to no less than 5 other passengers and both flight attendants, and I had headphones on. What’s with all of the “C” names anyway? A few years ago it was all -ayden names (Hayden, Jayden, Thayden-WTF?) While I’m in the Seinfeld spirit, what’s with all of this procreation? What the fuck have you done that you think you should make more of you!? Cured any diseases lately? Made any lasting artworks? I’m speaking directly to you, boring L.L. Bean and Husker hat wearing couple with your parent jeans. If it was summer I bet you’d be wearing Crocs. Does the world really need more insurance salesmen? Sterilization for all. Children of Men wasn’t a warning, it was a utopia, no kids watching Dora the Explorer at FULL VOLUME to stay distracted. (And yes, MaT, I realize they ripped it off.)
I’m not sure why i didn’t find out about this until the month was more than half over. I was lurking online today and tripped over this cover shot from Spanish Playboy Dec 2008. I have no problem finding Spanish fashion magazines, but where does one go for foreign porn? I must have a copy of this. Please feel free to say what you will about Miss. Von Tesse, but you must admit she makes it ok for even some of the squarest small minded people to embrace SEX. I know there were many ladies before her that did all she is doing, however none in our era found a way to do it on a stage that all the world would see and accept. I spin my nipple tassels in honor of Dita.
A true genius, philosopher, cynic, optimist, humanist, free-thinker and brilliant comedian. The natural evolution from Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor and George Carlin. Had he not died of cancer, William Melvin Hickswould be 47 years old today.
I’ve concluded that because of my Midwest upbringing I have too much of a conscience for Hollywood.
Why is December is so busy? I’ve been double-booking my nights since before Thanksgiving! Sunday was the first chance I’ve had to do laundry since the middle of November and I even had to go to my office Xmas Party. My clothing sitch has gotten desperate, Ive been digging back through the hamper like a hobo. And I haven’t even started on X-mas presents! (Except for my co-author AliUptown, I spent the most on her this year.) And while galavanting around here in Hollywood I’ve been running into a lot of celeb!
I don’t want to brag, but I see famous people all the fuckin’ time. So I don’t get starstruck too often or even acknowledge the existence of actors because they are just people but yes, at times, I am obliged to engage a famous person when they float into my periphery. I know it’s uncool to do this in L.A. so my personal rule is not to talk to someone unless I am telling them that I genuinely admire their work or really have something to say. How that actually comes out can be somewhat problematic but let me give you a couple of examples from the past few days.
Dita? Masuimi? Please, they will never fill her corset.
Back in 99 I was in a bad alternative band and was in charge of making the website. So thinking about what would draw me to a website I built a navigation that featured 9 photos of Bettie Page. Doing a HOTBOT or YAHOO search back then only brought up about 9 photos so it was easy to pick which 9 would be on it. But now you can pretty much see everything she’d ever done in her fetish career online. And BECAUSE of her, it is totally legal and gaining acceptance in mainstream culture.
But there is a reason Bettie was such a rogue icon of femininity and the Queen of the Pin-Ups. She was beautiful. Everything about her was natural and in perfect proportion. And her smile and expressions are the real focal point of any of her photos no matter what else she was flashing. Often imitated but never duplicated. RIP Bettie Page.
I’m not sure why i didn’t find out about this until the month was more than half over. I was lurking online today and tripped over this cover shot from Spanish Playboy Dec 2008. I have no problem finding Spanish fashion magazines, but where does one go for foreign porn? I must have a copy of this. Please feel free to say what you will about Miss. Von Tesse, but you must admit she makes it ok for even some of the squarest small minded people to embrace SEX. I know there were many ladies before her that did all she is doing, however none in our era found a way to do it on a stage that all the world would see and accept. I spin my nipple tassels in honor of Dita.
