WARNING! IF NAME-DROPPING MAKES YOU SICK THEN THIS POST IS THE DEADLY MUTABA VIRUS!

I’ve got the Eagle Eye, yo. I’ve been spotting screen gems all over the city. 4 of the last 5 days this week I have seen a celebrity of some merit. I’d say in normal day-to-day life I average one sighting for every two weeks or so but this week has been nuts! (Too bad you weren’t visiting) Of course I didn’t get my NEW CAMERA until just tonight… but ain’t that always the way. Here are a few sightings I’ve had this week (read the keywords below for a preview):

Because I’m a sexy beast, Friday I was on my way to the gym and I saw Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails going to a movie at the Arclight in Hollywood. I know, you’re surprised that he wasn’t also on his way to the gym, although he was pretty muscly. Not as uber-ripped as people say he’s getting but I think he’s had a bit of bicep since the “Self-Destruction” era. What really shocked me was his average height. I’ve been told that he is something like 5′ 4″ which totally isn’t true. Sure, he might have been wearing boots but he was basically eye level with me and I’m about 5′ 10″. I think he’s 5′ 7″, that’s average. I noticed he has pretty good skin but might be a bit too tan (bordering on tropical). As I passed him I said, “Hey Trent” as if I knew the guy. He just kept walking but let out an equally quick “Hey.” in response. Of course then I immediately called MaT from Dead Lantern because he is the biggest NIN fan I know (besides Sam R. whose number I didn’t even know I had, sorry dude). MaT convinced us to road trip all the way from Nebraska to Wisconsin to see NIN in 2000 (Fragility “Where the fuck were you?”). So of course I had to gloat to his email (do you ever answer the phone?). His response, “Yeah I really need to get out to California.”

I’ve heard from a couple people that he goes to the Arclight/Amoeba area on a regular basis, must be a movie buff. Emphasis on buff. I’m guessing he went to see CHOKE but for all I know he could have seen The Duchess.

On Saturday I went with some friends to the Cha Cha Lounge in SIlverlake and who should sit next to us at the bar but Tim Heidecker from Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show, Great Job! on [adult swim]. You might also know him from Tom Goes to the Mayor. If you don’t know him from either then you are fucking lame. Go watch Heroes and eat some Twinkies, loser. Myself and some friends and He and a few members of his crew (like production crew, not like 2 Live Crew) were having some drinks. Tim was sporting a green polo (really?) with a Barack Obama button (YES WE CAN!) and a moustache. A little bit dadlike, and he’s borderline large. I myself am in the process of cultivating lip hair so I admire his commitment to the life choice. I’m only keeping mine for October. It should be National ‘Stash Month. You can shave it for Halloween unless it’s part of your costume.)

I talked to him for a little bit but was mostly just a big fanboy. I told him that his show is amazing and that I think they are really doing something original. We small talked for a minute and he was nice but kind of deflected me to his friend/editor, Doug sitting next to him. It’s a fairly hipster of bar, or at least it used to be. I wouldn’t want some goober standing next to me telling me how great I am either…wait, that doesn’t sound too bad. (reminder: Post Craigslist Ad) I mostly talked with Doug and another guy (didn’t catch his name) but they were happy to talk about the show. One came from Philly and kind of knew Eric and just stumbled into it, lucky bastard. You can watch the Season 3 finale online at adultswim.com until Friday and they’ll be replaying the season. Right now Tim and Eric and their magical band of not ready for public access all-stars™ are doing some LIVE SHOWS which I’ve heard are pretty great and are writing and concepting Season 4 right now which may be the last season of Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show, Great Job! We won’t know until next year. But even if they move on to something else (and honestly how can you make nonsense like that work forever?) I’m sure it will be hilarious.

Because I live in L.A., sometimes I get to sip champagne by a pool on a roof in West Hollywood/Beverly Hills. That’s just what we do on Sundays here, ya know? (I heard it was cold in the Midwest this weekend? What’s that like?) On our way from Hollywood on Santa Monica Blvd we were checking out all the douchetastic Ferlambergosharomeobenz’s zooming down the street next to us in 15 mph traffic. Stopped at a long light, someone noticed a car that said “Clean Energy HYDROGEN” on the side (I think it was a BMW), to which we all gave approving “hmmmms”. I looked at the driver,who was wiping boogers from her eye and said to everyone else in the car as nonchalant as I could, “That’s Ellen Page from Juno“. Because I’ve got the fucking EAGLE EYE! Someone asked, “Was she being quirky?” Sure, whatever. All I saw was her head. I feel bad because she looked up AT THAT MOMENT when I recognized her and all she saw was 4 people in the car next to her STARING at her. I wanted to tell her, “WE WERE LOOKING AT YOUR CAR! WE’RE NOT EXAMINING YOU LIKE A LAB RAT!” But I was hoping I would see her make out with a girl. But that didn’t happen that particular day in traffic.

On Monday I saw Jamie Lidell/Janelle Monae at the Avalon, but that wasn’t my celebrity sighting. The eagle eye came out when I was talking to Janelle’s drummer and I spotted a guy who I knew had to be the dad or something on a Disney or Nickelodeon show of some sort. After some Googling later (the keywords “Black TV Kids Family” is sadly what found it) I figured out that it was Rondell Sheridan from That’s So Raven that i’d seen. It also hit me that I’d also seen him at a premiere at the El Capitan once before. I know, I’m scraping the C-list. Sorry, folks, I’m sure he’s a good actor, apparently he is also a musician, but I’m probably 15 years older than his key demo.

Tuesday was lame night of near-misses. I walked past LAX, the club, not the airport on my way to the gym (i’m debating starting a speed habit instead) and there was a red carpet and backdrop promoting Parasite Hilton’s Televised Abortion My New BFF but photographers were saying that she, nor anyone else worth punching-in-the-face were there yet. As I continued down the street I saw film/TV crews outside of the Egyptian Theater but grips were still lighting the scene, so no celebs there either. I saw signs today that lead me to believe they were filming the show NUMB3RS. But I probably wouldn’t recognize anyone from that, I have better things to do on that night of the week than watch TV. (whatever night of the week that is.)

But Wednesday, and I may have ended my streak by doing so, I met a man that I’ve seen in movies hundreds of times…because when I was a kid I watched the same movie possibly literally absurdly ADHD-ly hundreds of times. That movie is…”Gleaming the Cube”. And that man is…Steven Bauer. I met him at a pub in the Mid-Wilshire area and hit it off pretty well. I, uh, kinda paid a bit less attention to my date than I should have because he kept coming over to the table and singing and I’d sing along with him. (The Smiths, who’d have thunk it?) He’s a freewheelin’ kind of guy TOTALLY into music. I asked him how often people spot him and he said, “Everyday”. He asked me if I was a skater and of course I was in the 80′s. Tony Hawk was my god back then but I still have a Caballero Deck in front of me that gets occasional Hollywood Blvd usage. He asked if I wanted him to flick me in the ear and of course he did. Pretty cool. What is fucked up about this spotting? That I forgot that he was even in “SCARFACE”!

So there you go! A cele-busy week here in Hollywood! But I of course have to warn you not to move out here now. It’s too crowded and too expensive to live. But it’s fun that the extra 500 i pay a month to live here lets’s me see and meet interesting people like this every once in a while. I leave you now with a terrible trailer for “Gleaming The Cube”.

Tags: Ellen Page, Ferlambergosharomeobenz, Gleaming the Cube, Janelle Monae, Juno, Nine Inch Nails, Parisite Hilton, Rondell Sheridan, Scarface, Steven Bauer, That's So Raven, Tim and Eric, Tim and Eric's Awesome Show Great Job!, Tim Heidecker, Trent Reznor

This entry was posted on Friday, October 3rd, 2008 at 12:36 am and is filed under Entertainment, Hollywood, Images, Movies, Music, Television, Travel, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.