Sorry celebutards, but it seems that flashing your snatch is now both passe and avoidable. Thanks to Shibue Couture, there is a product that prevents not only your beev from catching cold, but also flashing your vag to the paps.

It’s like a sexy merkin.

But Ali, how do they work?” you may be wondering. I would hope the pictures are self-explanatory (okay, now I’m blushing). The panties go from your…triangle(?) to the top of your crack without wrapping around your hips. A side note to confused guys-where this differs from ordinary thongs is that on any girl with some meat on her bones, the straps unavoidably cut into one’s hips, resulting in pantylines under anything fitted. And I thought normal g-strings were torture devices.

Each cootch cover comes with a liner and spare adhesives (so you can have coverage and get a bikini wax at the same time!). The adhesives mold to your special place (ow), thus making these gems reusable. Just remove the sticky stuff (the tape, people, the tape), rinse the fabric with mild soap and water (you still with me?), put on new adhesive, and you’re ready to whore out again.

Eh, I shouldn’t be too critical. I can appreciate that this could be a lifesaver to someone wearing a formal gown who doesn’t want VPL or to go commando. The website also suggests that their product is perfect for strippers women who love to dance. But what happens when you have to pee? Similar in concept, the ‘C-String‘ looks the same, only it stays in place with the use of wire. Sort of a headband for your crotch. Yeah, these things are actually marketed as ‘sexy and elegant’. Christ, what if they fell off whilst wearing a skirt? ‘Scuse me while I pick up my…thingy.

I tried to throw in as many euphemisms for the vagina as I could. Long story short, for 30 bucks a pop, I’ll DIY it with some double-sided tape. Or not.

Tags: C-string, Fashion, Shibue Couture, stupid inventions, underwear, vagina

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 5th, 2008 at 10:26 pm and is filed under Fashion, Pop culture, Stupid. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.