Ok i’ve finally had enough of this full time thing. Working 9 to 7 just isn’t worth it anymore; so at exactly 3:33pm today I am going to march into my bosses office and demand a 15% raise (which still makes me too poor to buy a new car) or I’m ‘onna skate, ya heard? Soo, fulltime freelance designer I shall be probably from heretoforafter! I think I might also pick up some extra work as an Extra. I think waiting around on a set for 3 hours will be better than staring at a screen for 10. And it will give me time to get out there and actually meet people! I’ve been in L.A. for a year and a month and 17 days now and have a pretty short list of people to call and say, “whats up!?” to on a Friday night. And I’ve actually begun work on my design portfolio site (believe it or not!) and will be soliciting art directing/consulting jobs in the Home Entertainment/Independent Film/Small-Medium Sized Music Label/Alt-Retail Clothing Design Fields. Surely someone needs a crazy like me to think up nutty ideas for them. Also I’ll get to use my Marketing/Promotions skillz that I developed in the music scenes around Lincoln and Grand Island and on campus with [adult swim]. I’m also thinking i’ll find out which studios keep an in-house art departments. It would suck (for me) to work for a network like Animal Planet but the guys that design for [adult swim] in atlanta have a pretty cool fucking job. Not everything I do right now is rad like The Wire or Blade Runner (that i’m working on right now). Some of the movies (like Otis) suck the devils nutsack. But I suppose I’ll be eating a hefty helping of bullshit now that I’m on the lam. (Lamb? L.A.M.B.?)
And if I finally fall on my ass I can always move back to NE and unplug my brain for a while. Maybe even use the Art portion of my Art Degree. I haven’t painted in forever! Sometimes (way too often) I just feel like doing NOTHING and just waiting for my brain to catch up. Maybe I’ll finally seek a bit of psychiatric assistance for the half-dozen little things that seem to keep me from being able to connect to other human beings. I don’t think I have social anxiety disorder or anything, just kind of a disdain for the average Wal-Mart customer. It’s bordering on bloodlust. I may just need a sacrifice. If I take out just one little sheep then I will probably feel a little better. I’ll just look for someone obese by choice, reading Left Behind, Watching Bill O’Reilly, Littering and buying Larry the Cable Guy DVDs with foodstamps. (Achoo!) So Nebraska is probably the best place for that. 400 miles of plenty of places to lose a body and I can’t imagine the police handle that kind of thing all of the time.
I met Danger Mouse yesterday in the Beverly Center (which is this total asshole mall that I only went to because they have an H&M). I was just minding my own business looking for a jacket and I saw him hanging out by one of those benches in the middle of the mall. I was just walking along and saw him and as I was debating whether it was him or not my path just gravitated towards him. I leaned in and said, “Are you Danger Mouse?” and he said with a slight British accent, “Yeah sometimes, man”. I didn’t really have anything to say to him (because Cee-lo is the shit) so I asked if I could get a picture with him and he said, “Sorry, I don’t really do that.” “Um, Ok, Well I think you are doing really good work man, keep it up.” and he said some form of thanks and I kept on my mission.
So this is really only the 2nd time I’ve been turned down for a photo*. At first I was kinda miffed, but then I remembered that I’ve never paid for any of his albums. I got DangerDoom free for working for [adult swim] and I downloaded the first Gnarls Barkley because it wasn’t going to be released in America for another month or so and I haven’t gotten the new one yet. So I guess we are even. But I bet Cee-lo would have taken a fucking rad photo with me!
I passed him a couple more times on my way around the mall and as I was waiting for the elevator I sniped him from far away just because I needed to prove to YOU that it really happened. I found out today that he isn’t even British! But only lived there a while. What kind of Madonna bullshit is that? Well he is still talented and I got to shake his hand. I never did buy a jacket though.
*The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are pretentious hipsters. I actually bought their album and paid for my ticket to see them at Sokol. As if you don’t have time for 1 fucking photo? Well then I don’t have time to care about your band anymore.
…is Acid. It’s the fucking truth. If you’ve been there then you know and if you don’t then its just too bad you didn’t get to rub your brain up against God’s beard like we did. I’m sure you weren’t doing anything better with your early 20’s when it would have been the best time for you to do it, too. But it’s never too late, you should go get some now. Its a lovely day after all. And it’s like my good friend A*** said, “It’s funny that they are all over at the church learning about God, when we’re over here experiencing it.”
Here is an amazing comic about LSD in the style of Jack T. Chick Publications which have scientifically* been proven as the most reasonable and effective manner to indoctrinate someone on the dangers of indulging in anything ever. What better way to teach people that they are hellbound than with a poorly drawn comic you pick up randomly off the sidewalk or haphazardly placed upon bags of dog food in grocery stores. I used to work graveyard shift at a grocery store and would find these all the time. I tried to collect them all. My favorite is still about shriners and freemasons worshipping the devil and fezzes being red because they were dipped in the flowing blood of christians.
I’ve never heard a real argument against LSD. Theres the bullshit about people jumping off of balconies because they thought they could fly. Well maybe they subconciously wanted to commit suicide anyway? Besides, nobody can prove that ever happened. There are quite a few cases that prove Alcohol to be a factor in people falling off buldings and balconies at colleges all around the country. The other thing people say is that “you’ll go crazy”, yeah maybe if you eat a whole sheet of it. As if you couldn’t die from drinking a whole bottle of Everclear.
Having a good experience is all about set and setting. If you do the proper dose and take it with knowlegable people that you love and trust with your life in a safe and comfortable environment then you’ll have one of the best, most memorable experiences of your life. You will see the true beauty of your life and the world around you, you will hear music with your entire body, you will see how meaningless the bullshit you surround yourself with really is (your job, your debts, your pointless fears). And it will be a hell of a lot more REAL than a trip to Disneyland.** Want more info? Consult the end all, be all of drug experimentation safety sites that is Erowid.org.
Have a good conversation with your cat everybody!
*science has been scientifically been proven the fastest way to hell according to Jack T. Chick.
** please don’t mix LSD with Disneyland or any other public expositions.
I thought this was just a case of hypersensitivity when I first heard about this. But after seeing these pictures side by side, I think the jig might be up.
Apparently the hallucinogenic herb salvia is being targeted by lawmakers as ‘the next marijuana’. Eight states, including Illinois, have already placed restrictions on salvia-classifying it as a controlled substance, and 16 others are considering a ban.
Salvia is sold on the internet or in certain smoke shops and herbal stores, for $15-50 a dose, depending on potency. It is produced from a Mexican plant used by Mazatec Indians for healing and ritual prophecy.
No known deaths have been attributed to salvia’s use, but it was listed as a factor in one Delaware teen’s suicide two years ago-although the autopsy found no traces of the drug in his system at the time of death.
Most people think that this commotion over the drug is overblown. As soon as you make something illegal, people are just going to find something else. One Florida state representative has already introduced a bill to make possession of salvia a felony punishable by up to five years in prison. Bill LB840, which would make salvia divinorum illegal in Nebraska has moved to the floor of the Legislature, but has seen little activity as of yet.
California Attorneys for Criminal Justice, an organization of more than 2,000 criminal defense lawyers, opposes such bills because the group says it criminalizes behavior without sufficient scientific evidence, such as whether the drug is addictive or harmful to the body. The group advocates public education about the drug-what a concept.
Many scientists believe the drug has “real promise,” particularly with treating mania or bipolar disorder. Others say it has potential for slowing the transmission of HIV. Who knows. Maybe we never will, with such drastic knee-jerk reactions to a pretty little plant.
I think this Microphone Lamp is pretty dope. I think trying to charge $236 for it minus shipping is mega-douche-tastically pretentious. Its still homemade, pisswad, that means with $ > 30 you can makes-it-the-fucks yourself. I’m sure that instructables already has a similar DIY step-by-step. Go to nearly any music venue and they will straight up GIVE YOU one of their broken microphones. When I was working sound at the chatterbox, bands would thrash the shit out of the gear. You’ll want to wipe the mic down with some lysol just in case the band Faggot used your microphone and got AIDS all over it.
I’m trying to think of other music related things you can make into hangy lamps. I think an Accordion light fixture would be dope. Ikea already has lamps that look like bellows. Lets see that magic, science!
I put the Forum on extended maternity leave until I have more time to figure out the BBS BS. It was more of a forum than anyone really needed. But look, you can email us now by clicking our names! Woot!
I don’t know if ALL of these graphics correspond to 80’s identity animations but I figured out about 10-15 of them. Sweet shit. It’s too bad that Justice only DJ’s (from what I can tell they never actually “perform” live.) This is based on friends seeing them play in shitholes like the Viper Room and at soggy festivals. DJ set only? Really? Hey frogs, pick up a keyboard or a robot suit, then we’ll talk. Wheres the Justice in the music world?
Here’s a video that I found with many of the source identities.
Perhaps the only shameful thing about this encounter is that when explaining it to people who I met I have to actually act it out. But I think my Eagle Eye was out considering I wasn’t even thinking when I asked the guy if he was in fact the lad from this commercial. But then again, who else could it be?
I don’t feel the need to perpetuate the distraction surrounding this video but it is a student film that uses all of the boring SFW plot from a 70’s “golden age” porno FILM intercut with scenes of destruction and the atrocities caused by our government in the Middle East since the 50s. The kid probably got in trouble for using the harmless innuendo laden film that just happened to be from a porno. Yes, I believe that 9/11 was an inside job and that our “leaders” are due to be held responsible for their crimes against humanity. I want to see it broadcast and public display when that happens. (Mussolini style). I restate this weekly and if you don’t like it then you can fuck right off.
I found out about these guys through the Gibson website. They are called Tokio Hotel, they are 13-years-of age and damned if at first glance of this promo pic I didnt think their lead singer was a chick. And admittedly a hot one. (It took 10 seconds to figure that out.) I realize this makes me sound a bit like a gay pedophile but I swear I saw 10 girls at the Roxy this weekend who must go to the same stylist. They probably went in to their overpriced shop and told their official gay that they wanted the 13-year-old german emo-boy look.
The music is cheeseball post-glam emo-numetal and not my cup of manic panic but its pretty amazing that they are only 13 years old. Take that, Silverchair 1996! If they are making this crap now then they will either burn out in puberty or take the world by storm in 2012.*
*Just in time for the Apocalypse. Maybe their grandfathers in Rammstein will play the closing ceremony.
Its been a Long Weekend. It’s fairly safe to say that I packed the most between 7:30 Friday when I got off work through 5am Monday morning when I went to sleep that I possibly could. I absolutely destroyed myself and feel great. Well, I felt pretty good this morning at least. Then work kicked my ass again. :sigh:
I managed to drink probably a gallon of whiskey. I’m not bragging, I’m just telling you thats whats up. I didn’t try to do so, I just went out every night. I was a little sluggish Sunday morning but no hangovers! Friday I hit the strip, I hadn’t in a while and was by no means disappointed. Rainbow, Barney’s Beanery and some sushi bar near the Viper Room (irony?) that had snake venom shots. It was this “vodka” that tasted like sake (it might’ve just been sake) and it had a whole dead snake in it. The sushi bartender had to pour it through a filter as to avoid filling the drink with scales. And the night ended well enough for me to not make it home until the following afternoon. Saturday I went to breakfast and actually got some excercise in the afternoon and topped it off with lots more drinking at On the Rox, Free drinks at another Sushi Restaurant and finally the Snake Pit. Sunday’s slow start allowed me to not get much cleaning done in my apartment and then surprise², I went out and drank. I hit up Cinespace and checked out a band that I’d seen a couple times before and have to say their show has improved quite a bit. 3 free Kentucky Breakfasts in the VIP area later and the night ended in conversations about Tony Danza and the Joe Dirt script in Greco’s Pizza. On top of that I watched Blade Runner, The Decline of Western Civilization and finished the Program design for Hastings High’s production of “Honk!” So yeah. Now I’m tired. And I’ve spared you the rigorous and juicy details. Somehow, I want to once again be paid for doing what I’ve done this weekend.
So on the job front I have to announce that an Ad that I designed will be making its way into Playboy, Rue Morgue and Fangoria next month (or the month after, I’m not sure). I said this before when I had a Sex In The City ad (not in the horror mags) that got shot down 5 minutes before I was going to upload the Mechanical. I announced it and then It didn’t happen. I counted my chickens before they hatched and the eggs were full of snakes. But this time. I don’t care. The Ad they chose was once again mine (with elements borrowed from one of the Key Art Comps) but it has the STUPIDEST quote as the headline so I’m not taking full credit. I still wrote a bit of copy in it and I’ve toiled too many hours on it so I guess now I’m kinda proud of it. Even if it looks fucking cheesy. Oh well, the movie that It’s for is cheesy, too.
To wrap this up I wanted to share with you a bit of a moral dilemma that presented itself to me at the end Zombie Jesus Day as I was arriving at Cinespace. I was crossing Hollywood Blvd at Ivar and I noticed these 3 loud cunts dropping N-bombs while 2 of the 3 were white. A second later I notice them starting to assault the man who was walking behind them. He was in his 70s. They roughed him up a bit, he pushed one in the face somewhat and they knocked off his hat and probably stole it. It was sad. I turned around to help him and looked at the hipsters in front of the club and none of them seemed to share my need to help the poor bastard. I also realized that these 3 hoodrats could probably stomp me (but not if I had another dude helping) and I was also fearful that these cunts would call the cops and say that WE assaulted them. So like an asshole I stayed out of it. As I walked into the club the door guy(6′5″ 225 lbs.) said, “Only in Hollywood, right?”. “I guess” I said, wondering why he didnt abandon his post to help (there was someone else there that could have watched the door).
So I pose this question to you. What would you do in the same situation?
Leave a comment.
AliUptown is now technically AliHumboldtPark. Doesn’t roll off the tongue quite like the former. Anywho, I’ve since moved into my new apartment, and am “borrowing” internet. My arms are too
tired to even type, so this’ll be a short one.
The movie “Humboldt Park” is finishing up production in Chicago. In case you didn’t know, everyone is in that damn movie. Freddy Rodriquez was totally in Neiman Marcus a few weeks ago, and yes, he’s quite lucky I didn’t club him and drag him back to a fitting room to have my way with his petite self. I’m still mad I didn’t catch any filming of “The Dark Knight” here this summer.
Jesus visited me in the night and left chocolate eggs in Zero’s litter box. So here is my easter treat to you! A photo from 2005 from when AliUptown and I found a bunch of Zyklon-Bunnies behind an army reserve building. They had all died within 10 feet of each other and didn’t have a mark on them. We fear now that they were victims of CIA waterboarding. Hey Jesus, when will it end?
I haven’t seen any Looney Toons since they decided they were racist, violent and caused all of the worlds problems. Yet today assholes are shooting up schools on a weekly basis. They haven’t had access to these cartoons, what are we blaming now?
Mel Blanc was a genius whose impact on society and entertainment is immesurable. How fucking dare they blame cartoons. Fact from fiction is much harder to discern when its coming out of a live human being. Blame your leaders, not your entertainers.
I was just picking meeting a friend at a place so we could go to another bar and boom, more Celebustalking. It was 2 weeks ago that I met Will Sasso. Debora Wilson came into my office two days later. I met Bobby Lee last friday…
…and Nicole Sullivan tonight. I still think Michael McDonald is next.
The Janitor from Scrubs was there too …but I don’t watch that show. Must not have had it on in my frat.
And it just dawned on me that I met Joan Of Arc! I admire her commitment to community service. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about then I pity you and know that someday soon you will figure it out and thank me with every fibre of your being, note that I spelled it fibre and not fiber because if you use the queens English it becomes classier and euros are worth more than dollars so that makes it a more worthy gift.) Pinky Out.
I have a TV now! Although I shant hardly use it for anything besides movies, the occasional awards show or 30 rock episode it is already performing its prime directive… powering my Nintendo lust. Through sheer coincidence or possibly Nintendo’s overwhelming dominance of modern pop culture I stumbled across a new site today called The Tanooki. I unfortunately had a lonely enough childhood to know that the Tanooki is Mario’s Adorable Raccoon suit from SMB3. This site is an obsessive tribute to all things Nintendo where I found such gems as a frightening, lifelike rendering of Mario and a NES harmonica (you know, cause you blow into it).
Now if you’ll excuse me I have some mushrooms to eat and some tiny dinosaurs to ride.
