First off some people have told me that the comments aren’t working for them, if this happens to you let me know as I’m trying to figure it all out.

I can see the Kodak Theatre from where I am sitting right now, no really. When I say I live in Hollywood, I mean I live in the dirty old part of Hollywood with all of the tourists and the places to buy stripper boots and $10 cheeseburgers that don’t come with fries. Well, come tomorrow this will be the epicenter of the Hollywood hoohah of the Academy Awards. I think a lot of award shows are BS, especially people’s choice awards. As if all the money they got from being the most popular thing out there wasn’t enough, they need an award for it too? WTF?! And the people who participate in those things never notice when humanitarian awards are given out, oh what a sad state of affairs. So anyway, this post is about the Oscars! Although film is an art form and art is subjective and probably shouldn’t be judged, i still watch them anyway. So i guess i’m a hypocrite. Well, here are my Oscar Picks -enhanced with smartassery commentary.

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” -I drink your milkshake! *Sschluuuuurp* I drink it up!

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men”-What’s the most you’ve ever lost in a coin toss?

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Laura Linney in “The Savages” -I picked Julie Christie before even though I hadn’t seen her movie but she was the favorite but I had a really inappropriate dream about Laura Linney last night so I’m changing my answer. Did you see Primal Fear? That movie is chronic.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There” -She does a better Dylan than Dylan. I think SHE should go on tour and play his songs. He sure as hell can’t.

Best animated feature film of the year
“Ratatouille” -I must be the only person who didn’t see this film. But i’ve heard its good.

Achievement in art direction
“The Golden Compass” -Too bad there won’t be a sequel. These books are rad and kill god! I think the movie failed because they chopped off the ending which was the whole point of the fucking story. Dumbass studio douches.

Achievement in cinematography
“There Will Be Blood” -There was always oil and debris falling on the lens, it kinda bothered me but all of the crane shots and the way they filmed the violent parts of this film are sweet.

Achievement in costume design
“Across the Universe” -Didn’t see it. I’m a huge Beatle fan. I might like it, but that might not be a risk i’m willing to take.

Achievement in directing
“No Country for Old Men” -My parents hated and didn’t completely understand this film, yet I think they still liked it because it engaged them enough to tell me they hated Anton so much. Mission Accomplished.

Best documentary feature
“Sicko” -Why are we not rioting in the streets? And what the fuck do some of the liberals I know have against Michael Moore?

Achievement in film editing
“Into the Wild”: Jay Cassidy -Just Brilliant.

Best foreign language film of the year
“The Counterfeiters” Austria -Didn’t see it. But it had the best posters.

Achievement in makeup
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”: Ve Neill and Martin Samuel -Although a lot was CGI, the prosthetics in this movie were insane! My other choice is Norbit. Only because I didn’t see it and I’m sure it helped Eddie Murphy realize his life’s dream of being a fat black woman. Stop being crazy Eddie Murphy, if you like tranny hookers then tell the world proudly! We’ll still love you for Beverly Hills Cop.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
“Atonement” Dario Marianelli -Those typewriters were chronic! But it was kind of gimmicky. I think There Will Be Blood should have gotten a nom. I’m not the world’s biggest Radiohead fan (unlike my friend Melodie) but I thought Johnny Greenwood’s music stuck out quite a bit and although it was jagged and at times very out of place for the period, it was very moving and added to the story immensely. Ironically, the day after my friend saw it she told me the music bothered her…until I told her who it was.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
“Falling Slowly” from “Once” (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova -Didn’t see it but 2 people I know keep mentioning that I need to see it and tell me the music is great and that “I’d love it”. But people said that about Moulin Rouge …and I hated it.

Best motion picture of the year
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers -It was tight. Does it deserve to win over and of the rest? I dunno, it was a pretty good year for heavy films where everyone but the bad guy dies. That was the deep part of this post because if you really think about it, thats what all of these stories are. Protagonist Snuff films. Anton Chigurh, Daniel Plainview and Briony Tallis all live and have the last word despite doing horrible things and killing all of the other characters. Has nobody else put this common theme of these movies together? I win.

Achievement in sound editing
“Transformers”: Ethan Van der Ryn and Mike Hopkins -How to you spell out the transformation noise? I miss the squishy trasform noise from the cartoon. This movie was all effects and sounds. How did those digital wizards decide what a 40 foot robot transforming into a scorpion would sound like?

Achievement in visual effects
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”: John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier -I watched a short film about how they made the Maelstrom sequence, it was disgusting how technical it was. Couple that with all of the pyro on the live sets and multiple Jack Sparrows and I’d say this will edge out Transformers and Golden Compass. Transformers and Golden Compass were amazing in Cinerama, btw. (I just want to brag about where I live again and say that I was in the first domestic audience to see the last Pirates movie. They even confiscated our cell phones so we wouldn’t leak any of it. Jerry Bruckheimer gave a speech.)

Adapted screenplay
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson -Upton Sinclair, motherfuckers.

Original screenplay
“Juno”, Written by Diablo Cody -I want to see more strippers win this award. This movie hemmoraged quirkiness in a way that very few movies can do without seeming manufactured or forced. Can she keep it up? We’ll see, but this movie had comedy and heart and drama and it seems like it didn’t get nearly enough love from the Academy, which only proves they are of the douche.

And Just because I picked these movies it doesn’t mean that I liked them, its just who I think will or should get the oscar. I’ve got an office pool going and I picked a bunch of different ones than i did here just in case it was a night full of surprises. Which it wont be. I think overall “No Country for Old Men” will take a shitload of Oscars home. But it would be rad if Juno took a few. I’ll Trash the Oscars on Monday. Have a good weekend!

Tags: Academy Awards, Kodak Theatre, Oscar Predictions, Oscars

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 23rd, 2008 at 12:39 pm and is filed under Entertainment, Hollywood, Movies, Music, Pop culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.